A Dish Served Three Ways: Coconut Oil

Over the past month I’ve managed to go through an entire jar of coconut oil. I’ve used it for a variety of things including makeup remover, moisturizer and lube. All the while I kept careful notes on how it performed at each of these tasks, quietly planning on making a post about it when I had finally finished the jar. Well, that day has come. And I’m here to say that this is a worthy thing to add to your daily arsenal, though it excels at some things rather than others.

Use No. 1: A moisturizer

On my skin, coconut oil feels luxurious, more so than the regular lotion that I use. It smells fantastic and it really does soften my skin. I’ve used it on my legs, my butt, and all the rest of my body. I’ve used it both before shaving after seeing Girly Juice’s recommendation  and after shaving, but I found it worked better as something to moisturize my body after a shave rather than before. In fact, I noticed I had slightly more irritation when I used it beforehand rather than after. I can’t figure out exactly why this is, perhaps because I didn’t use a fresh razor or perhaps the coconut oil made my skin softer, but the fact is that I was more irritated when using it before hand. Ah well, your mileage may very, but I’d recommend using it after.

I also loved how shiny it made my whole body look. One day I felt particularly luxe and decided to smother my whole body in it, put on a face mask and then wrap myself in a robe. I felt extremely decadent as I watched Twin Peaks and marveled at my slick, shiny legs.

The only draw back for me was that the coconut oil took a long time to soak into my skin, meaning I’d have to clear out a chunk of time waiting for my legs to stop being slippery. My other lotion soaked in much faster. So if I have dry legs and I’m strapped for time, I don’t end up using the coconut oil. But if I want to feel as decadent as possible, I rub some on and settle in for some thriller shows on Netflix.

Use No. 2: As a makeup remover

I’m someone who’s just recently started to get really into makeup. I’ve been looking into long lasting waterproof stuff so that I don’t have to worry about things like reapplication or smudging or anything. Unfortunately, waterproof and long lasting makeup means that taking off my makeup can be a real pain in the ass if I don’t buy makeup remover. Or at least, it used to mean that until I used coconut oil.

I swear, coconut oil kicks ass as a makeup remover. Waterproof mascara? Easy. Liquid eyeliner? No problem. Foundation? Consider it gone. Long wear lipstick? IT’S OVER. Coconut oil melts makeup and makes taking my long wear looks off easy. Also, unlike some other makeup removers, when you inevitably get this in your eye, it doesn’t sting. It does make seeing out of one eye a little blurry, but rinsing your eyes out is pretty easy.

Use No. 3: As a lube

So first things first: I only used coconut oil as an anal lube so that should be taken into account. I wasn’t able to use it vaginally since I’ve been bounced from UTI to yeast infection and to my menstrual cycle all in quick succession. July was not a great month for penetration vaginally. Nonetheless, I bulled ahead and used it for anal penetration, curious to see how it felt.

On my first try using the coconut oil it was almost entirely liquid. It slid off the dildo and provided only a thin layer of lube, which led to a frustrating experience trying to get what felt like a dry dildo into my ass. I pretty quickly gave up on that plan and switched over to my standby lube, Good Clean Love. I resolved I would try again later.

The second and subsequent tries went better. When in a semiliquid state, the coconut oil was thick enough to provide some cushion between the new butt plug I was using and my ass. It felt much more comfortable. And as a bonus, I didn’t leave any ass smell on the plug. It just smelled like coconut! I was pretty happy to discover this.

Now that it’s moving on to August and my vagina finally feels normal, I’m going to get a new jar of it and use it. But this time I’m not going to stick my fingers in it. According to Dangerous Lilly, you ought to use the decanting method so as to not encourage bacteria growth in your coconut oil. With this in mind, I’m excited to try it out.

Final thoughts

Over the past month, I’ve appreciated having such a useful multitool in life. It’s not often there’s a product that removes makeup, moisturizes my skin and also lets me put toys in my ass, all while smelling excellent. I would highly recommend to anyone looking for a good oil based lube to try virgin, unrefined coconut oil for toys as it’s the least likely to cause any issues. Coconut oil is compatible with most materials, but not with things such as TPE or PVC or Jelly. It’s also not condom compatible, so keep in mind that when you’re considering a lube for partnered play. In all, I highly recommend coconut oil as a cornerstone for both your beauty and sexual needs.

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