A Light In An Abandoned House

I cruise by the yard of this old house now and again. I roll down my window and try to see through those windows.

I used to live there. It was my house after all. And the county tax office says that it still is mine, because I remember to keep paying for the lot, though they are telling me I should be doing maintenance on my property. I think about going back inside and seeing if the lights will still turn on. I wonder what I’ll find, and the thought makes me wince.

This time, I make myself keep driving. I don’t stop.


I don’t go cruising through that part of the neighborhood for a long time.

But one night, I dare myself to go back. It started as a flash of a whim, but after a half of a bottle of beer, I get to thinking that I need to see the state of the place. I need to know how that house is doing.

I drive my little grey car back to the shaggy, unkempt yard in the middle of the night when I think no one will see me.

I cut the engine and sit in my car for a long time, just watching the outside of the house. There is no movement that I can see, though that’s not saying much with how dirty the windows are. My hand rests on the car door handle for long moment, and then I make myself open the door.

My boots crunch on the gravel driveway, and my chest gets tighter as I walk around the house to the backdoor. I finger the key ring in my jacket pocket as I come up to the back step that leads into the house. The doorknob is kind of tarnished, with brass colored paint flaking off. Pulling the key out, I slide it into the lock and then turn the knob.

It’s a little sticky, but the door opens and lets me look into the house. I can smell dust, stale air, and something indefinable. A slight smell of mildew maybe.

The house is completely dark, and I can’t see anything. I step uneasily through the door, testing the floorboards with my boot before I take a step each time. Fear is coiled in my gut, and it’s threatening to claw its way out of my throat. I swallow, carefully making each timid baby step inside.

Sweat slicks my hands, and I compulsively wipe my hands on the front of my jeans. Logically, I know there shouldn’t be anything in this house. Nothing can hurt me here. I think.

I make my way slowly over to the light switch that I know is in the kitchen. With each step, I get a little closer, and my fear starts talking to me.

‘What if this place is falling apart entirely? What if there are rats in here and they swarm you? What if there’s a person who’s been living in here who is angry and surprised? What if your neighbor sees you and screams at you for being so neglectful?’

My resolve falters. My hand flinches away from the light switch, and fear becomes a yawning dread. The courage from the half bottle of beer I had earlier feels like it sank through the floor and into the foundations of the house. I squeeze my eyes shut and brace myself against the kitchen wall, breathing hard and fighting down the urge to vomit or sink onto the ground and cry.

I’m so scared of what I might see. I’m so scared of having left this place abandoned for so many years. If I don’t acknowledge it, I can pretend it didn’t happen and then I can forget about this stupid fucking house. I can forget about it and it can be swallowed up by the earth and neither I nor anyone else will have to remember it.

…But I want to remember it. A tiny little part of me in the back of my skull won’t let me leave this place without turning on the light in the kitchen. So instead of running out of the house and throwing myself in my car to drive away, I hold myself rigid, braced against the kitchen wall. My back is hunched and my head is lowered as I try to gather myself.

I stay still for a long time, just breathing, holding still and trying to bring my heart rate down.

Eventually, the dread rolls back. Just a little. Just enough.

I pull myself up right, and my hand goes back to the light switch. I hesitate again, feeling the same anxiety rise in my chest, threatening to cut off my air. So I take a long, slow breath in.

And then I flip the light switch.

To my surprise, the light flips on with ease. The electric light buzzes overhead, illuminating the kitchen its yellowy-orange glow. I flinch from what I see at first. The counters are covered in dust and dirt. The wall paper has warped, and is peeling in some places. The clean dishes that had been piled next to the sink are also dusty. A cockroach skitters under the dishwasher for safety.

My cheeks burn as I take in the sight, and I feel ashamed now. This place…was truly abandoned.

And yet, as I continue looking, I notice a few things. The floor boards remain intact. The walls are sturdy underneath the peeling wallpaper. And when I turn the cold tap on the sink, water sputters out of the sink spout.

I had been paying for the utilities for this place all this time, but I never expected them to actually work. I am surprised at that.

I stand in the lit kitchen for the first time in years. It is gross, it needs a hell of a lot of cleaning. But there was a time when this place was mine. Memories come flooding back as I run my finger over the dusty plates. The air has taken on a different quality.

No longer do I think of this place as ‘the house’. I think of it as my house.

And I have some work to do to fix it up. But it’s better than I thought.

Maybe I could even live here again.

Scents For Every Occasion: Perfume Review

Over the past few years, I’ve developed a feminine side. The pandemic really kicked it off, with nothing to do outside, I started focusing on skin care and collecting makeup pieces. I purchased one of my first Anastasia Beverly Hills palettes and began experimenting with it, to some success. My interest in self care and beauty products grew, and then diversified. And this interest led me down a rabbit hole, one that I may never escape.

If you ask my friends, they will tell you that I love things that smell good. Soap, body oil, scented candles and most notably…perfumes. I’ve been thinking about my perfume obsession a lot lately, and wanted to go through a few I’ve purchased and one I’ve been given (thank you The Butters!) and talk about why I like them and when and why you might like them.

The first scent I want to talk about is Philosophy’s Pure Grace. When I bought it, it retailed for around $23 and came in a little square glass bottle. At the time I got it, I had no idea what I wanted, except that I wanted something pleasant and neutral. And, well, Pure Grace is just that. It smells like a white cotton t-shirt on laundry day, mixed with sunscreen and rain. Basically, it’s fresh and clean! I wear Pure Grace just about anywhere, because the scent is so nice and the price is pretty low, so I don’t feel bad about using it to my heart’s content. But Pure Grace is really made for those casual days for when smelling nice is just for you. I highly recommend this as a spring scent.

Fresh And Clean is Get The Butter’s answer to Philosophy’s Pure Grace. The scents have some cross over, sharing an affinity for bright citrusy top notes and a musky dry down. Both feel clean ‘n green in a way that makes you feel like dancing! However, when I wore Fresh And Clean, it hung around closer to my skin and didn’t project off me in the way that Pure Grace did. This, of course, is great for people who aren’t looking to blast the walls down with perfume. The occasion for Fresh And Clean would be a first date scent, something that your date would notice when they came in for a hug at the end of the night. Not too aggressively sexy and yet pleasant and lingering, just how a date should be. I highly recommend Fresh And Clean for indoor settings so that you won’t be announcing to the whole office that you’re wearing perfume. Although, if you’re looking to avoid activating sensitivities, just don’t wear perfume around them!

I also have to mention that right now, Fresh and Clean is $5, which is a steal! And you’d be supporting a black owned business that I love and have reviewed here with a lot of love.

Now we get to my weirder/more gourmand perfumes. These are for people who appreciate weird, so buckle in!

Alkemia’s County Fair is a recent favorite of mine. If you take a look at the listing on Fragrantica, you’ll see that it lists pink cotton candy, hot kettle corn, funnel cakes, candied apples, and saltwater taffy. Now, I don’t know if I picked up all of that, but I can say that DAMN that kettlecorn note is present! It’s so strange, I take a whiff of it from the bottle and all I can smell is the popcorn note, but it mellows out really sweetly on my skin. But for whatever reason, I’m sad to notice that popcorn note fading. Now, why anyone would want to smell like the bustling air of a fair is a little beyond me, but I think I know that it grew on me because I haven’t been to one in years.

County Fair hangs out close to the skin and doesn’t project, which is great because a rolling cloud of popcorn announcing my arrival doesn’t sound awesome. But I love that I can smell it on me all day. If I had to come up with a place to wear County Fair, I would probably suggest an artsy kind of event. If you could screen an obscure movie or go see an exhibit for free, County Fair would kind of rule for that.

The last perfume I’ll introduce is one from a perfume house called Hexxenacht. I received Frickin Bats as a sample in one of my orders and I fell head over heels with it. It smells like a candy skeleton. Or a cookie. Or both. Basically, Frickin Bats smells like Halloween should. And it PROJECTS. The sample had a nice presence to it, but readers, I will tell you, that when a bottle explodes over your luggage, it is over powering. So get it, but uh…make sure you don’t break it!

Perfume has been an obsession of mine I’ve been dying to write about for a while, so it felt good to write this post and stretch my legs. Hopefully, posts like this are a sign of my triumphant return!

Get The Butters sent me Fresh and Clean to review, but all opinions within this post are my own. Thank you Get The Butters!

It’s my blog, I’ll party if I want to

This is just a short post to say that I am reclaiming my blog from the ashes. I’ve been out of the sex blogging world for a long time now, and that’s partly because I haven’t felt like I’ve had anything interesting to say on products. But I have been still working on projects! I’ve been writing erotica, attending a few (very few) kink events and working hard at school.

That’s right, I’m back in school for programming! After having lost my day job last year, school has been my solace.

My current plan for this blog is to write about a variety of topics, sex being one of them, but also: horror movies, politics, programming and opinion pieces. I’ve forgotten how much writing had been my outlet, so reclaiming this space for myself and re-booting it will be fun!

Anyway, see y’all soon with my thoughts on some horror movies I’ve seen lately!

Review: The Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine

I usually prefer pinpoint vibrators. This has been documented on my blog, with my love for the Blush Nocturnal and the Zumio being two of my favorites. And yet, I’m not monogamous with my vibrators, so I ventured out to try something new: The Yummy Sunshine by Satisfyer. I’ve never had any luck using internal vibrators, but after reading up on it, I knew I had to give it a shot.

I was nervous when I first tried the Yummy Sunshine, just as I usually am on a first date. I made sure it was charged, clean and ready to go. I pressed the center button to get that yellow beast rumbling and touched it to my clit…and oh yes. Instant NRE the likes of which I haven’t felt since I got a new crush.

The Yummy Sunshine has 6 intensities, which fucking rocks. However, I only use the top 4 settings, the first two are too gentle for my taste. The quality of the vibration is also incredible. Usually for vibrators around this price point and with this kind of shape, the vibration is usually buzzy and numbing. But this vibrator rumbles. It penetrates deep into my clitoral network and rumbles me so satisfyingly. 

But I didn’t just use the Yummy Sunshine on my clit as I usually do. The Yummy Sunshine begs to be used internally, and so I, as the thorough and determined reviewer I am, decided to put it to the test. To be quite honest, I was excited to try it internally because the shape of the Yummy Sunshine reminded me of the Tantus Tsunami which I was really wanting to try (though it seems to be out of stock for now). So I pushed it inside my vag and…guys it owned. The low and strong pitch of the vibrations rocked my entire internal network, and I felt my G-spot respond. It felt like having the sound from my bass amp inside of me after I’ve plucked an open E. The Yummy Sunshine is deep, resonant and lovely. I was hoping to feel the ridges a little more, but they (predictably) get overshadowed by the vibrations in my vagina and I’m fine not feeling them.

The only thing I might fault the Yummy Sunshine for is daring to think it could be a dual stimulator. That little nub doesn’t really line up with my anatomy, and if I try to make it work like a dual stimulator, I’m left frustrated. But if I leave it as a clit vibrator or a G-spot vibrator? I’m so happy I could squeal. 

Overall, this vibrator is definitely one I would recommend. It’s body-safe, strong and surprisingly affordable! If you find yourself looking for a new internal vibrator, definitely give the Yummy Sunshine a try.

I purchased this product with my own money, and all opinions are my own!

Body Safe and Budget Friendly: 15 Sex Toys under $40

Everyone who wants to experience sexual pleasure, so long as they’re doing it in a consensual and safe way, ought to experience it. A good way to get that is through sex toys, which come in a variety of types and prices. Unfortunately, a lot of sex toys can be unsafe, expensive, or just uncomfortable for the body, so it can be hard to make a purchase. So I’ve put together a quick n’ dirty list to help out beginners who want to make their first couple of purchase. For this list, I’ve decided to give myself a limit of $40 maximum for any one item, and I’ve organized my picks in ascending order, with the most affordable options for each listed first. I’ve also organized it into three categories: Dildos, Vibes, and Butt Plugs. I’ve also put in a Bonus Category at the end, so stay tuned!

Dildos

  • The NoFrillDo Series of Dildos: These are cheap, made of silicone and actually fairly pleasurable! The designs are non-representative, which is great for people who don’t necessarily want a dick shaped dildo. I’ve tried two of the shapes, the B and the G and I love em! Full marks here. Priced at $24 a pop, they definitely deserve to be on the list.
  • The Neo Elite Dual Density 5 inch Dildo: This one comes in Neon Blue AND Hot Pink. It’s also a bit more cock shaped, but that’s no knock against. The real draw here though is the fact it’s dual density, making it nice n’ soft. Being able to experience dual density for $24? Absolutely hell yeah.
  • The Fifty Shades of Grey Drive Me Crazy Dildo: I knew I wanted to add material variety here, and I know that this design feels fucking great according to other sex toy reviewers. Glass will be a lot firmer than anything else I’ve suggested here, but that’s where your mileage may vary. At $28, I’d say it’s definitely worth trying out and seeing if it works for you!
  • The Ruse Jammy: For people who are a part of size royalty, there are options for you! Blush makes the Jammy, an 8 inch long and 2 inch thick dildo that’s made of silicone and actually has a pretty damn good suction cup! I can personally attest, this is a damned good toy! Priced at $35, it’s definitely worth it if you’re looking to get in a good stretch.
  • The Temptasia Dildo Set: Not sure what size you need but not really willing to shell out mad cash to find out? This set comes with three dildos, graduating in size from small to large. To my mind, this would be great for people not sure where their comfort lies and want to experiment. At $39, it falls at the very highest end of my budget list, but for three silicone dildos, that ain’t so bad!

Vibrators

  • The TurboGlider: Oh this toy makes me feel nostalgic. I love it to pieces, though I haven’t used it in a while. It has truly excellent vibration strength, is water proof, has a cool shape and guess what? It’s only $14. Please, get it. I need you to get it. It runs on batteries which is maybe the only thing I could hold against it.
  • The Vooom Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator: It’s teeny, unobtrusive and actually really strong and rumbly! Reviewers have compared it to the WeVibe Tango, a much lauded toy. While I wouldn’t go that far, it’s definitely pretty damn good. The hard plastic is easy to clean and it’s also rechargeable! Priced at $26, I think that makes for a good deal.
  • The Noje Clit Vibrator: Okay, so this toy is VERY STRONG. It is not for the faint of clit among you. If you need power to get you off, but want it to come in a little rechargeable package, I cannot recommend any better than this. It’s priced at $35, so a little high for the budget limit, but it is worth it.
  • The Pillow Talk Racy: The younger sibling of the Pillow Talk Sassy, this toy is rumbly as all get the fuck out. It also has the potential to vibe internally, so I think this is definitely worth it. It’s also priced at $36, which is pretty reasonable for a rechargeable insertable!
  • The Yummy Sunshine Vibrator: This toy is intended to be a vibrator you use more internally, which gives it some extra uses. It’s definitely body safe and looks promising, and rechargeable and insertable vibes are rarely so cheap! Priced at $40, it’s at the top of the budget, but it’s something I think would fit nicely in a budget kit. Also, rated to have really high power!

Butt Plugs

  • Fuze Pleasure Plug 2: I can be swayed by color okay? This is such a gorgeous deep blue that I so rarely see in the sex toy world. But I also think it’s earned it’s place on this list because of that smart base and that price tag. $20 for a gorgeous piece of blue silicone? I mean…yes?
  • Glas Beaded Glass Butt Plug: Again, adding a little material variety! This glass toy has a T shaped base and fun bloops, which is awesome. I gotta admit, I’m also a big fan of the price, which is $24. NOICE.
  • The Tru Taper Butt Plug: One of the smartest uses of dual density I’ve seen in a long time! I can’t believe there aren’t more squishy butt plugs out there. But at least there’s this one and it’s pretty dang cheap too! It clocks in at $27 and comes in other shapes too. Definite buy.
  • The Tantus Neo and Ryder: I’m grouping these two together since they’re fairly similar. I own both of these plugs and just recently reviewed the Neo, and have plans to review the Ryder! I can say that these plugs should be considered bedroom essentials for those looking to get into anal. Smartly designed, wallet friendly at $32 and $37 respectively and it also comes in black. Hell yeah!

Bonus

For this section, I wanted to give myself room to recommend things like kink implements, lube, and other miscellaneous sex/vag stuff that’s important. So I’ll be picking out five bonus products that fit within the purview of the budget!

  • The Thwack: A really good paddle! It’s a sexy matte black silicone with real bruising potential and it’s only $35. I’ve had it and The Pelt for a while (I plan on reviewing them!) and I highly recommend it if fancier wood paddles are out of your budget.
  • Good Clean Love Lube: Hands down, this is my most purchased lube, priced at a wonderful $13. It’s pthalate free, water based, glycerin free and tastes ever so slightly of vanilla. It’s also available in most grocery stores! Oh, and I love the BioNude version as well!
  • The Diva Cup: It’s a silicone menstrual cup that I use whenever I’m on my bleed. It was one of the first things I ever reviewed and now I own two, just in case! It’s priced at $32 at Walgreens, which is kinda awsome.
  • The Twisted Monk Curiousity Kit in Cotton: The first rope I ever owned. Twisted Monk is fabulous and they are HIGHLY recommended here on this website. This is priced at $37, which is great considering what all you’re getting.
  • Latexion Latex Collar: God I love this as an intro to latex AND bondage. It’s sexy, it’s cheap, and I want you to have it. Please, at $15, it is worth taking a look at!

I put together this list to serve as a list and jumping off point for people looking to buy toys for the first time, or for those who just need reminding that cheaper options exist. I didn’t put every toy I could here, but a decent-ish sample size that hopefully meet a variety of tastes. There’s no reason to hold on to unsafe toys when beautiful options like the above and more exist! Now go play safely y’all!

Leather, Wood and Bottoms: My First Kinky Party!

I am known for being remarkably prescient. My friends have commented on this ability when I can often find the words they lose and can even guess what they are going to say before they say it. So I’m proud to add yet another point in favor of my psychic abilities when I predicted the following: kinky people know how to throw the best parties. After receiving an invite to a BDSM play retreat, I packed up a bag with snacks, toys, a spare outfit, wriggled into the sexiest dress I own and drove out to have a blast.

When I walked into the house of the host and saw men, women and all other members of the alphabet mafia in gorgeous attire, I knew I’d found my people. I was absolutely delight by what I saw: A hunk of a man wearing a red leatheresque thong, hot kinksters in kilts, fems in leather chest harnesses, and cute littles in cuter onesies abounded inside the house.

I set my contribution to the party’s spread on the absolutely massive kitchen counter (chocolate peanut butter cups, chocolate covered coffee beans and veggie straws respectively) and was then whisked into a perverse wonderland by the man, the myth, the legend: KinkThings. To describe the tour would be to wash out the color of the event, but I will say as I traveled through the house that I was struck by the sense of being Alice, escorted by a grinning Cheshire Cat. Welcome to Wonderland indeed.

The tour’s notable part led me into KinkThings’ workshop, which smelled like heaven as far as I’m concerned. The aroma of wood, leather and treatment ought to be made into a perfume. I saw his toys and believe me when I say that I was happier than a dragon confronted with another hoard. In some ways, the interaction between KinkThings and I was akin to two dragons meeting, though with more generosity than one might expect. It was also then that KinkThings offered me something new and beautiful: a baseball bat cut down into a perfectly thuddy impact toy. The sides are cut down to give it a paddle type of surface, with the edges of one side sloped just so in order to resemble a blade. The handle is long and wrapped in beautiful purple leather, leading me to swing my new prize like a sword. I could not stop eyeing my prize that entire night.

Wandering out of the workshop, the rest of the house was a delight. Crosses and suspension rigs were set up, and I got to watch several people bottoming in scenes. My favorites were probably a cute boy being flogged by BadKitty herself and a cute girl being beaten while on the cross in the Sunrise Room. The scenes were beautiful, hot and also very intense to watch. I admit to bowing out of the Sunrise Room once the knife play part of the scene started, but then I walked directly into a hot as hell suspension scene. Holy hell, the party never stops!

As I explored the rest of the rooms of the house, I saw scenes with electricity, a submissive being strapped to a suspended cross, spun, and tortured with water and smacks, a truly excellent flogging, and a girl in a suspension scene. There was not a single boring moment at that party. As far as the people, I loved everyone there, and the hosts and their guests truly made the party. BadKitty showed me just a small piece of her beautiful makeup collection, KinkThings bequeathed me with the most lovely and imposing of impact toys, a couple who delightedly told me about their mushroom growing operation and an imposing man with an infectious laugh and good advice on how to work with leather, I feel like any one of the party goers could have a book written about them.

The climax of the party (for me) was when I got to use my new most perfect treasure, my bat, on the ass of a real human! I squared up my stance and delivered the first few tentative smacks, feeling the perfect weight of the bat blugeon a cute butt, all the while my mentor KinkThings beamed in delight. If I were to describe the scene to you, I’d say it felt like a coach taking a rookie slugger under his wing. Except perverse. Once KinkThings had corrected a few things with my grip and stance, my beautiful new bat was smashing into the ass of my dear demo bottom. Beautiful purple marks bloomed on her ass and on the back of her thighs. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears and the adrenaline pushing my senses to their height. I felt like a tiger that had caught a deer and was now relishing in tormenting the helpless thing. Pulling the bat over my shoulder, I considered the purple lines tattooing her skin with a sense of pride and something close to hunger. Something inside me woke up and roared, and I know I’m going to have to put this to toy to use more and more.

After my scene with the bat, I retired from the party somewhat reluctantly because I knew I would be dead tired the next day. I packed up my bag, putting away the few paddles I had brought and carefully placed my bat in the passenger seat of my car. As I drove home, I couldn’t help but grin the whole trip home. God, kinky people really do throw the best parties. I can’t wait to go to my next one.

Review: The Tantus Neo Butt Plug

I am no anal aficionado. On a regular day, my asshole will tolerate a finger maybe, or perhaps the NJoy Medium, but it mostly prefers to be left alone. However, recently I’ve gotten far more interested in anal play, I am nothing if not an inquisitive slut who wants to push her body to the limit, so I started looking around for butt plugs of a more intermediate size. After splashing about in the shallow end of anal for so long, I started pushing myself to try bigger butt plugs. Of course, I wasn’t sure where to start until I saw the Neo. What it lacked in bells and whistles, it made up for with an appealing design and blessedly manageable dimensions.

The Neo is probably the most straight forward butt plug around. If it were a person, the Neo would be the type of person who goes out to the bar exclusively as the designated driver and gets a seltzer water. They’re not the dynamic party-animal, but they’re solid, reliable, and predictable. And with how batshit the past more-than-a-year has been, predictable is great. The Neo is made out of firm silicone, comes in black and purple and has fairly average measurements. At 1.4 inches thick and 4 inches of insertable length, most size queens with an anal bent would probably pass over the Neo. For a girl like me though, it’s the perfect toy to practice my ass at an intermediate level.

The Neo’s real claim to fame, in my opinion, is it’s shape. The pointed, tapered design is perfect for me to ease my ass open so that I can get used to having something of that size. Some people might take issue with the pointed shape, and I can definitely see that being a problem if you were trying to have PiV with that toy in. However, I can’t say that I really noticed a feeling of being ‘poked’ or jabbed. What I did notice was how damn comfortable that T-shaped base was. It snuggled between my cheeks and let me go about my day with nary a chafe. Bravo Tantus, a perfectly executed base.

As far as sensations go, I can’t say that the Neo changed the way I masturbate or made me cum buckets. But then, I don’t really think that’s what the Neo is for. The Neo feels like a stretch (at least, for someone as inexperienced as myself) but it doesn’t feel overwhelming. I was able to wear this plug for hours at a time without any discomfort, though I did need to reapply lube now and again because of the silicone. When I popped in the Neo and then used a vibrator on my clit, I had absolutely fantastic orgasms. The kind that make me leak girl cum all over my bed sheets and leave impressive wet stains. While I don’t squirt yet, I do wonder if anal play might help me to learn because hot damn that was an intense orgasm.

The Neo is a plug that does exactly what it is designed to do: comfortably and pleasurably fill up a butt. It doesn’t claim to be Aneros or Njoy, but it receives full marks for what it is. For people ready to venture beyond a finger or too but who are quite ready to have themselves a full anal fuckin’, the Neo will be your best friend.

A guide to buying sex toys secondhand

Are you a person with a strapped wallet but a desire to buy sex toys? Can’t wait for a sale? Well then I have just the answer for you! You should…buy a pre-owned sex toy!

…Okay buying sex toys second hand can seem a little gruesome. You are buying something that somebody else fucked, and with all the puritanical notions in our society, that might seem a hard thing to swallow. You probably have a lot of questions about buying sex toys second hand, and I’m here to answer them.

Q: Buying sex toys second hand is gross! Someone else fucked it! How can you buy them?

A: Not really a question but a common hang up. The reason I can buy them without being squeamish is because 1. I can sterilize the toys so that no pathogens could possibly harm me and 2. The money I save is a big plus.

Q: Who should buy toys second hand?

A: My firm belief is that anyone can buy a toy second hand and have it reflect nothing other than thriftiness and a certain eco consciousness. It’s really just recycling y’know? Sexy recycling.

Q: Why should you buy toys second hand?

A: Well, for a reduced price for one! Toys that are perfectly good but who have had a previous owner will often be sold for a much lower price. It’s also great to reduce waste; toys that would otherwise be trashed can now be given new life.

Q: What types of toys can you buy secondhand?

A: The toys that are acceptable to buy secondhand are only the ones that can be sterilized (and I’ve written guides about sex toy safety that you can peruse if you like!). Silicone, glass, steel etc; are all good materials of sex toys to buy since you can boil or bleach those things right from the get. You can also bleach silicone or ABS plastic vibrators, but not boil them!

Q: Where can you purchase toys second hand?

A: Well, there are a few dedicated sites to the buying and selling of used sex toys! My favorites include

  • R/Usedsextoys: a sub-reddit devoted to the sale and purchase of used sex toys. Pretty good and reputable and where I’ve made most if not all of my secondhand purchases!
  • R/BadDragonBST: this is basically like the previous subreddit but focused on fantasy toys and Bad Dragon dildos.
  • Dragon Moor and Dragon Hoard: Two websites that are very much alike. Both focus on the selling and buying of fantasy toys. They are also quite good and reputable
  • Squeaky Clean Toys: The newest among these websites, a website devoted to selling used sex toys that also focuses on reviewers being able to sell off old toys they no longer want/use. I’ve not made a purchase from them yet but I have been keeping an eye on the listings!

These forums and websites are great and have moderators and rules to keep buyers and sellers safe. Definitely peruse the rules and regulations before diving in and buying so that you can be safe out there.

Q: What should I do once I receive my sex toy?

A: Clean it. You can do this multiple ways, and I’ve mentioned as such in this post!

What I want from this post is for more sex toys to be passed around communities so that they can have longer lives and not be tossed out with trash. I’m hoping that by writing this, I can help, even incrementally, alleviate some of the stigma of buying used sex toys! Now happy buying y’all!

Bloggers never die

They just go on hiatus.

Okay, it’s been a long time since I’ve surfaced here. COVID has been cruel, and you really don’t need me to tell you that. Between the biggest public health crisis of my generation, the sharp economic down turn and my own hectic personal life, sitting down to write has been second to floundering through my life and trying to make shit work out. However, I feel…maybe not refreshed, but ready to return to the scene. I thought I’d give y’all a little update as to what I’ve been up to since quarantine came around.

I had my first threesome! I met with a beautiful couple, watched horror movies them, and then made out. The makeouts led to sex and that led to an on and off relationship where we meet up, watch either horror flicks or Dragula and have sex. Once, I baked blueberry muffins for the couple after sex. It was pretty damn cool. The couple also introduced me to weed, which was very cool of them as well.

My nipples are now sporting barbells after I got them pierced in June. The piercing was memorably painful, but because I’d had the foresight to eat and drink beforehand, I didn’t even get woozy! The piercer called me a brave girl as well, which was nice. I wish I’d gotten a sticker of some kind, something that read ‘I was brave at the piercer!’, but alas I did not. I love my piercings so damn much I’m considering going back and getting my navel pierced.

Speaking of my body, I also did a nude photoshoot! I’d made a FetLife account, and from there, I was asked by a member if he could photograph me. After I went a sussed out that he wouldn’t turn me into a lampshade, we set a time and I showed up in my spooky Goth regalia and we took some pretty damn hot photos! And there might even be another shoot where I actually get photographed using toys, we’ll see!

I was also pegged for the first time thanks to quarantine! A gorgeous woman used my leather harness on me, and she wielded the Maverick with such force and grace that it still amazes me. My hole felt blessed, which is fitting considering the woman who pegged me is also a witch. Blessed be indeed!

The last thing of note that has happened during quarantine has been me finally getting to a therapist. I’ve known I’ve been mentally ill most of my life, but COVID finally slowed me down enough that I went and sought out a professional. It’s in early days for my therapy, but I’m optimistic. With luck, this should help me get to a better brain state!

These past few months have been tough, but I’ve managed to carve out small spots of brightness. Here’s hoping that you guys have too, you certainly deserve it.

Pretty handy! The Hot Octopuss DigIt Review

Let me start this review by making something abundantly clear. I am way more into pin point than broad stimulation, as you can tell by the number of tiny vibrator reviews I have up on my blog. When it comes right down to it, I will pull out my Zumio more often than I will ever pull out my Magic Wand or my Unicorn Vibrator. My clit has been spoiled by the precise stimulation that comes from a strong bullet vibrator and will only reluctantly respond to the broad rumble of a wand. I have yet to meet a bullet I dislike. So, it should come as a surprise then that I have somewhat mixed feelings about the Hot Octopuss DiGit, the new rechargeable bullet vibrator…with a finger holster.

Hot Octopuss became famous off of their vibrators targeted for people with penises. For a while, when I was partnered, I considered asking to review one of those sleeves or cockrings to see how they would fare on my resident stunt cock. I never did get to test those, but I have gotten the chance to test Hot Octopuss’ new venture: bullet vibrators. It seems like everyone is interested in taking a bite at the powerful rechargeable bullet market, with everyone from JeJoue to Blush sending in their contenders. However, not content to simply serve up a classic with the DiGiT, Hot Octopuss decided to up the ante by adding a finger holster and marketing the DigIt as great for couples. When I saw the toy had a finger holster, I wondered if that might ruin the toy. Eager to see how this would turn out, I requested the DiGiT from SheVibe.

HOT OCTOPUSS_PRODUCT PHOTO
Say what you like, the DiGiT does look the part!

The DiGiT came in a cute, shiny package with a British flag embossed on it which I found charming. My dad, when he cleaned out my car though, rolled his eyes as he found his daughter’s vibrator. Since I’m not yet out to my parents, I was wildly embarrassed at them finding an instrument of sin in my car. Luckily, the DiGiT is apparently so small and non-threatening that my dad just rolled his eyes and didn’t give it a backwards glance the way he might’ve given a huge dildo like the Uberron or the Changeling (reviews coming soon!)

The DiGiTis small, coated in smooth silicone and charges via a little stabbing pin which would worry me except that it reminds me too much of plugging in my earbuds. It has 5 different speeds, of which the top three are the best in my opinion. The first two are rumbly yes, but so weak as to not even register for a warm up. But the final three setting are where the party is at. Maybe the silicone dampens the vibrations or maybe the people at Hot Octopuss just really know what they’re about but these vibrations are  YUMMY. They’re rumbly and penetrating, and when I take the DiGiT off my clit, I can actually feel my whole internal network pulsing for a few moments after I take it off. Delicious. Oh and there are patterns? But I don’t really care about those, I’m just going to set the DiGiT to a consistent high rumble and get straight to an orgasm.

Of course, now we have to come to the awkward part of the DiGiT review where I have to shuffle my feet, sigh, and admit that this vibrator is not perfect. I feel like a teenager justifying my choice in music when I say that the DiGiT works for me but not everyone will ‘get it’. The finger holster is non-removable sadly, and while it’s decently flexible and it fit my delicate lady sized hands, I can definitely see this being a problem for folks with larger hands. Also, for right handed people, the controls are set up beautifully! I found it extremely easy to use, though if I’m honest, I’m not sure if it was all that much better than holding it statically. For a left handed user though, the controls become more awkward, and switching settings and turning off the vibrator are much more clumsy.

This specificity with regards to handedness and hand-size is what gives me pause in recommending this vibrator to everyone. If you’re someone who is right handed, has small hands and hates holding toys? Then this is the one for you, hands down (oh haha, let me have my jokes). But if you’re not all of these, then you might be better served by toys from Blush, JeJoue or even Hot Octopuss’ other offering, the Amo (which my friend Cy reviews here!) which are uncomplicated and frill-less. This is not to say that the Hot Octopuss DiGiT is a bad toy, but it’s just not going to be everyone’s favorite flavor. Ah well, back to masturbating right handed.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks SheVibe!