Uncategorized – Rocket Girl Writes

A Light In An Abandoned House

I cruise by the yard of this old house now and again. I roll down my window and try to see through those windows.

I used to live there. It was my house after all. And the county tax office says that it still is mine, because I remember to keep paying for the lot, though they are telling me I should be doing maintenance on my property. I think about going back inside and seeing if the lights will still turn on. I wonder what I’ll find, and the thought makes me wince.

This time, I make myself keep driving. I don’t stop.

I don’t go cruising through that part of the neighborhood for a long time.

But one night, I dare myself to go back. It started as a flash of a whim, but after a half of a bottle of beer, I get to thinking that I need to see the state of the place. I need to know how that house is doing.

I drive my little grey car back to the shaggy, unkempt yard in the middle of the night when I think no one will see me.

I cut the engine and sit in my car for a long time, just watching the outside of the house. There is no movement that I can see, though that’s not saying much with how dirty the windows are. My hand rests on the car door handle for long moment, and then I make myself open the door.

My boots crunch on the gravel driveway, and my chest gets tighter as I walk around the house to the backdoor. I finger the key ring in my jacket pocket as I come up to the back step that leads into the house. The doorknob is kind of tarnished, with brass colored paint flaking off. Pulling the key out, I slide it into the lock and then turn the knob.

It’s a little sticky, but the door opens and lets me look into the house. I can smell dust, stale air, and something indefinable. A slight smell of mildew maybe.

The house is completely dark, and I can’t see anything. I step uneasily through the door, testing the floorboards with my boot before I take a step each time. Fear is coiled in my gut, and it’s threatening to claw its way out of my throat. I swallow, carefully making each timid baby step inside.

Sweat slicks my hands, and I compulsively wipe my hands on the front of my jeans. Logically, I know there shouldn’t be anything in this house. Nothing can hurt me here. I think.

I make my way slowly over to the light switch that I know is in the kitchen. With each step, I get a little closer, and my fear starts talking to me.

‘What if this place is falling apart entirely? What if there are rats in here and they swarm you? What if there’s a person who’s been living in here who is angry and surprised? What if your neighbor sees you and screams at you for being so neglectful?’

My resolve falters. My hand flinches away from the light switch, and fear becomes a yawning dread. The courage from the half bottle of beer I had earlier feels like it sank through the floor and into the foundations of the house. I squeeze my eyes shut and brace myself against the kitchen wall, breathing hard and fighting down the urge to vomit or sink onto the ground and cry.

I’m so scared of what I might see. I’m so scared of having left this place abandoned for so many years. If I don’t acknowledge it, I can pretend it didn’t happen and then I can forget about this stupid fucking house. I can forget about it and it can be swallowed up by the earth and neither I nor anyone else will have to remember it.

…But I want to remember it. A tiny little part of me in the back of my skull won’t let me leave this place without turning on the light in the kitchen. So instead of running out of the house and throwing myself in my car to drive away, I hold myself rigid, braced against the kitchen wall. My back is hunched and my head is lowered as I try to gather myself.

I stay still for a long time, just breathing, holding still and trying to bring my heart rate down.

Eventually, the dread rolls back. Just a little. Just enough.

I pull myself up right, and my hand goes back to the light switch. I hesitate again, feeling the same anxiety rise in my chest, threatening to cut off my air. So I take a long, slow breath in.

And then I flip the light switch.

To my surprise, the light flips on with ease. The electric light buzzes overhead, illuminating the kitchen its yellowy-orange glow. I flinch from what I see at first. The counters are covered in dust and dirt. The wall paper has warped, and is peeling in some places. The clean dishes that had been piled next to the sink are also dusty. A cockroach skitters under the dishwasher for safety.

My cheeks burn as I take in the sight, and I feel ashamed now. This place…was truly abandoned.

And yet, as I continue looking, I notice a few things. The floor boards remain intact. The walls are sturdy underneath the peeling wallpaper. And when I turn the cold tap on the sink, water sputters out of the sink spout.

I had been paying for the utilities for this place all this time, but I never expected them to actually work. I am surprised at that.

I stand in the lit kitchen for the first time in years. It is gross, it needs a hell of a lot of cleaning. But there was a time when this place was mine. Memories come flooding back as I run my finger over the dusty plates. The air has taken on a different quality.

No longer do I think of this place as ‘the house’. I think of it as my house.

And I have some work to do to fix it up. But it’s better than I thought.

Maybe I could even live here again.

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Scents For Every Occasion: Perfume Review

Over the past few years, I’ve developed a feminine side. The pandemic really kicked it off, with nothing to do outside, I started focusing on skin care and collecting makeup pieces. I purchased one of my first Anastasia Beverly Hills palettes and began experimenting with it, to some success. My interest in self care and beauty products grew, and then diversified. And this interest led me down a rabbit hole, one that I may never escape.

If you ask my friends, they will tell you that I love things that smell good. Soap, body oil, scented candles and most notably…perfumes. I’ve been thinking about my perfume obsession a lot lately, and wanted to go through a few I’ve purchased and one I’ve been given (thank you The Butters!) and talk about why I like them and when and why you might like them.

The first scent I want to talk about is Philosophy’s Pure Grace. When I bought it, it retailed for around $23 and came in a little square glass bottle. At the time I got it, I had no idea what I wanted, except that I wanted something pleasant and neutral. And, well, Pure Grace is just that. It smells like a white cotton t-shirt on laundry day, mixed with sunscreen and rain. Basically, it’s fresh and clean! I wear Pure Grace just about anywhere, because the scent is so nice and the price is pretty low, so I don’t feel bad about using it to my heart’s content. But Pure Grace is really made for those casual days for when smelling nice is just for you. I highly recommend this as a spring scent.

Fresh And Clean is Get The Butter’s answer to Philosophy’s Pure Grace. The scents have some cross over, sharing an affinity for bright citrusy top notes and a musky dry down. Both feel clean ‘n green in a way that makes you feel like dancing! However, when I wore Fresh And Clean, it hung around closer to my skin and didn’t project off me in the way that Pure Grace did. This, of course, is great for people who aren’t looking to blast the walls down with perfume. The occasion for Fresh And Clean would be a first date scent, something that your date would notice when they came in for a hug at the end of the night. Not too aggressively sexy and yet pleasant and lingering, just how a date should be. I highly recommend Fresh And Clean for indoor settings so that you won’t be announcing to the whole office that you’re wearing perfume. Although, if you’re looking to avoid activating sensitivities, just don’t wear perfume around them!

I also have to mention that right now, Fresh and Clean is $5, which is a steal! And you’d be supporting a black owned business that I love and have reviewed here with a lot of love.

Now we get to my weirder/more gourmand perfumes. These are for people who appreciate weird, so buckle in!

Alkemia’s County Fair is a recent favorite of mine. If you take a look at the listing on Fragrantica, you’ll see that it lists pink cotton candy, hot kettle corn, funnel cakes, candied apples, and saltwater taffy. Now, I don’t know if I picked up all of that, but I can say that DAMN that kettlecorn note is present! It’s so strange, I take a whiff of it from the bottle and all I can smell is the popcorn note, but it mellows out really sweetly on my skin. But for whatever reason, I’m sad to notice that popcorn note fading. Now, why anyone would want to smell like the bustling air of a fair is a little beyond me, but I think I know that it grew on me because I haven’t been to one in years.

County Fair hangs out close to the skin and doesn’t project, which is great because a rolling cloud of popcorn announcing my arrival doesn’t sound awesome. But I love that I can smell it on me all day. If I had to come up with a place to wear County Fair, I would probably suggest an artsy kind of event. If you could screen an obscure movie or go see an exhibit for free, County Fair would kind of rule for that.

The last perfume I’ll introduce is one from a perfume house called Hexxenacht. I received Frickin Bats as a sample in one of my orders and I fell head over heels with it. It smells like a candy skeleton. Or a cookie. Or both. Basically, Frickin Bats smells like Halloween should. And it PROJECTS. The sample had a nice presence to it, but readers, I will tell you, that when a bottle explodes over your luggage, it is over powering. So get it, but uh…make sure you don’t break it!

Perfume has been an obsession of mine I’ve been dying to write about for a while, so it felt good to write this post and stretch my legs. Hopefully, posts like this are a sign of my triumphant return!

Get The Butters sent me Fresh and Clean to review, but all opinions within this post are my own. Thank you Get The Butters!

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It’s my blog, I’ll party if I want to

This is just a short post to say that I am reclaiming my blog from the ashes. I’ve been out of the sex blogging world for a long time now, and that’s partly because I haven’t felt like I’ve had anything interesting to say on products. But I have been still working on projects! I’ve been writing erotica, attending a few (very few) kink events and working hard at school.

That’s right, I’m back in school for programming! After having lost my day job last year, school has been my solace.

My current plan for this blog is to write about a variety of topics, sex being one of them, but also: horror movies, politics, programming and opinion pieces. I’ve forgotten how much writing had been my outlet, so reclaiming this space for myself and re-booting it will be fun!

Anyway, see y’all soon with my thoughts on some horror movies I’ve seen lately!

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Leather, Wood and Bottoms: My First Kinky Party!

I am known for being remarkably prescient. My friends have commented on this ability when I can often find the words they lose and can even guess what they are going to say before they say it. So I’m proud to add yet another point in favor of my psychic abilities when I predicted the following: kinky people know how to throw the best parties. After receiving an invite to a BDSM play retreat, I packed up a bag with snacks, toys, a spare outfit, wriggled into the sexiest dress I own and drove out to have a blast.

When I walked into the house of the host and saw men, women and all other members of the alphabet mafia in gorgeous attire, I knew I’d found my people. I was absolutely delight by what I saw: A hunk of a man wearing a red leatheresque thong, hot kinksters in kilts, fems in leather chest harnesses, and cute littles in cuter onesies abounded inside the house.

I set my contribution to the party’s spread on the absolutely massive kitchen counter (chocolate peanut butter cups, chocolate covered coffee beans and veggie straws respectively) and was then whisked into a perverse wonderland by the man, the myth, the legend: KinkThings. To describe the tour would be to wash out the color of the event, but I will say as I traveled through the house that I was struck by the sense of being Alice, escorted by a grinning Cheshire Cat. Welcome to Wonderland indeed.

The tour’s notable part led me into KinkThings’ workshop, which smelled like heaven as far as I’m concerned. The aroma of wood, leather and treatment ought to be made into a perfume. I saw his toys and believe me when I say that I was happier than a dragon confronted with another hoard. In some ways, the interaction between KinkThings and I was akin to two dragons meeting, though with more generosity than one might expect. It was also then that KinkThings offered me something new and beautiful: a baseball bat cut down into a perfectly thuddy impact toy. The sides are cut down to give it a paddle type of surface, with the edges of one side sloped just so in order to resemble a blade. The handle is long and wrapped in beautiful purple leather, leading me to swing my new prize like a sword. I could not stop eyeing my prize that entire night.

Wandering out of the workshop, the rest of the house was a delight. Crosses and suspension rigs were set up, and I got to watch several people bottoming in scenes. My favorites were probably a cute boy being flogged by BadKitty herself and a cute girl being beaten while on the cross in the Sunrise Room. The scenes were beautiful, hot and also very intense to watch. I admit to bowing out of the Sunrise Room once the knife play part of the scene started, but then I walked directly into a hot as hell suspension scene. Holy hell, the party never stops!

As I explored the rest of the rooms of the house, I saw scenes with electricity, a submissive being strapped to a suspended cross, spun, and tortured with water and smacks, a truly excellent flogging, and a girl in a suspension scene. There was not a single boring moment at that party. As far as the people, I loved everyone there, and the hosts and their guests truly made the party. BadKitty showed me just a small piece of her beautiful makeup collection, KinkThings bequeathed me with the most lovely and imposing of impact toys, a couple who delightedly told me about their mushroom growing operation and an imposing man with an infectious laugh and good advice on how to work with leather, I feel like any one of the party goers could have a book written about them.

The climax of the party (for me) was when I got to use my new most perfect treasure, my bat, on the ass of a real human! I squared up my stance and delivered the first few tentative smacks, feeling the perfect weight of the bat blugeon a cute butt, all the while my mentor KinkThings beamed in delight. If I were to describe the scene to you, I’d say it felt like a coach taking a rookie slugger under his wing. Except perverse. Once KinkThings had corrected a few things with my grip and stance, my beautiful new bat was smashing into the ass of my dear demo bottom. Beautiful purple marks bloomed on her ass and on the back of her thighs. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears and the adrenaline pushing my senses to their height. I felt like a tiger that had caught a deer and was now relishing in tormenting the helpless thing. Pulling the bat over my shoulder, I considered the purple lines tattooing her skin with a sense of pride and something close to hunger. Something inside me woke up and roared, and I know I’m going to have to put this to toy to use more and more.

After my scene with the bat, I retired from the party somewhat reluctantly because I knew I would be dead tired the next day. I packed up my bag, putting away the few paddles I had brought and carefully placed my bat in the passenger seat of my car. As I drove home, I couldn’t help but grin the whole trip home. God, kinky people really do throw the best parties. I can’t wait to go to my next one.

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Anime, Drag Queens, Leather and The Internet: A Journey Through Gender

I’ve been thinking a lot about gender. If you look around online, there are a lot of theories about gender and what it means and how to do it and express it. My conception of gender is that you are what you say and know yourself to be, but what does it mean to apply a label to yourself? I’ve often pondered what exactly I should call myself. My internal conception of gender has been changing, not to mention my outward presentation and my ideal aesthetic. Through virtual and real life means, I’ve been doing my best to explore who and what I am but…I’m not sure if this is ever going to be a process I’ll finish. Maybe I’m not supposed to finish.

My earliest memories of experimenting with gender were strictly in virtual spaces, since my mother strictly refused to entertain my notions of dyeing my hair a bright teal. I would often roleplay online as someone with a radically different look than I had, and I would select pictures of girls with dyed hair, facial piercings and tattoos to represent myself online. Sometimes, when I was feeling particularly daring, I would pick an anime boy to be my avatar and I would romance all of the other girls in the roleplay. Pretending to be someone who had the courage to experiment with their look was addicting, and I adored roleplays for the chance to explore the character I got to write. But I didn’t just try on new personalities and have cool supernatural powers; I got to try on new modes of gender expression. I would explore different fashions, aesthetics and new ways of being a woman (or a man!). Perhaps this love of trying on new identities has sparked my eternal admiration of the concept of shapeshifters. To this day, I still love writing, and I’ve learned to love it for it’s own sake. But there’s an especial sweetness to it when I get to be someone far more interesting looking than the basic athlete I was in high school and college.

Through the exploration of online spaces, I also began exploring my gender in reality through changing my own expression through fashion. One of my most recent purchases that I’m particularly proud of is my new leather motorcycle jacket. It is black, with beautiful silver hardware and a buckle at the waist and it gives me the sexiest biker look imaginable. When I slide into my leather jacket and pair it with my Doc Martens, I slide into a more comfortable version of myself. Wrapped in leather and flannel, I feel a pure aesthetic bliss. That thrill that I felt when I pretended to be an edgy anime girl online is something I get to feel now, but a thrill that’s based in my reality and presentation.

Gender-fuckery is something of a personal subject with me. I think I developed a particular love for androgyny and androgynously beautiful characters because I had a somewhat repressive household. Growing up in the South and in a white, conservative and Christian household, I had a lot expectations already put upon me for how I should look and act as a girl. These expectations were mitigated because I was an athlete, so I got to have some lee way when I cut my hair short or wore unfeminine clothing in the service of sport. But I didn’t fully escape the female beauty expectations. One of the more ridiculous examples was when my mom taped a sign to my mirror that read: “Don’t leave the house without eye makeup!”. The sign even had a little black and white clip art of an artfully made up eye. That sign didn’t exactly force me into wearing makeup, but I remember it very strongly.

Another instance was when I timidly suggested to my mother that I wanted to dress up as a male character from one of my favorite mangas. I remember feeling flutters in the pit of my stomach as I thought about binding the mosquito bites I called breasts. This conversation didn’t lead anywhere, and I didn’t end up cosplaying as a cute anime boy, but this notion of ‘cross-playing’ as it is called, stuck with me. After these timid gender mixing beginnings, I found myself drawn to drag and drag artists in a visceral way. I consumed all drag content with an all consuming appetite; from RuPaul’s Drag Race, to the classic To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, to the edgier alt scene of Dragula. I started following drag artists on Instagram, watching how people transformed themselves into a sensual and glamorous spectacle and I long for that. Watching drag artists love themselves so much and make themselves into art has been pushing me into more honestly embracing my own gender aesthetic. I know drag is a spectacle; it’s an illusion and a show, but it makes me want to try to bring a little sparkle of that into my quotidienne existence.

My long history with gender-fuckery and the slow evolution of how I relate to my gender has led me to question a lot of things. For a while, I explored the non-binary identity, trying it on to see if it would fit better than the strict confines of ‘being a girl’. I confided in a few friends that I didn’t ‘feel like a woman’, and I asked a few of them to refer to me with they/them and she/her pronouns, as well as by a chosen name. My friends, as wonderful as they are, had no problem adjusting when I asked this, and I couldn’t be more grateful to them for giving me the time and space to explore my gender. As I’ve grown, I feel that the label non-binary doesn’t really fit me as well as I’d hoped. I don’t know that I feel like the term ‘woman’ fully embodies my identity and mental landscape, so I’ll keep exploring my expression and how other people explain their gender to get a grip on these messy feelings.

Gender is messy. For me, it’s a slow process of aesthetic joy and frustration and trying to find terms that fit me best. Being online and having good friends gave me the space I needed to begin examining my presentation and altering it to suit me better. Even if you’re cis, I highly recommend taking the time to sit and think about why you do your gender the way you do. You might discover some surprising truths and come out of your exploration with a new mode of expression, or, a deeper understanding of why you love your aesthetic. I shared my story of anime and drag queens to show you how I’ve altered it over time. Now, I hope this inspires people to tell their own stories and start their own journeys of gender and expression exploration.

How would you describe yourself? How would you describe your expression and style? What’s your gender?

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August Wrap Up: Ballin’ on a Budget

Partnered Life

My partner is home and we’re back to our regular sexual program! We’ve been adoring having one another back in the bed together.

Another thing that we’re delighting in is our coffee drinking lives. The partner and I have inherited a frankly astonishing espresso machine that is making our caffeinated lives blissful.

My partner and I also went to DragonCon! We didn’t stay long, just passed through but it was a delightful experience. I got a few souvenirs in the form of T-shirts with a gothic vibe.

Health and Wellness

I’ve felt in better spirits this month thanks to the return of my partner. I’ve started sleeping more regularly and feel fit to continue my work writing! With my depression eased, expect to see more posts around here!

I plan on writing consistently, as well as getting to bed earlier.

Turn ons and Toys

This month I’ve managed to procure some truly astonishing toys at bargain prices! I’ve worked my deals and used black magic to find the Vixen Johnny in Single Density, The Jopen Comet Key Wand, and the Magic Wand Rechargeable all at different price points but all significantly below their normal purchase price. The highest I paid was $79, and that was for the Magic Wand Rechargeable

I’m also making September the Month of Magic! I’ll be reviewing all my fantasy toys. They are:

The Large Tyv by StrangeBedFellas
The Small Deelit by StrangeBedFellas
The Barghest by Xenocat Artifacts
The Medium and Small Changeling by HodgePodgeEntourage
The Night King by Uberrime

Turn ons this month have tended towards the voyeuristic and the exhibitionist. Sometimes I fantasize about walking in on someone masturbating and watching them go at it while I rub one out secretly. But often I fantasize about someone catching me masturbating and finding the sight so incredibly arousing that they can’t help but jerk off.

I’ve also been fantasizing so much about my demon fantasy (that I’ve mentioned previously) that I’ve commissioned a character to act out that fantasy! You’ve seen her on my Twitter and I’m formally introducing her now on my blog. Her name is Bellephagor, and she’s a Baphomet. Standing at 5’0″, she’s short but imposing. She’s also the Head of the Torture Department in Hell. Rumor has it that she’s known to sexually torment a lucky few sinners~. This makes me want to write a post about sexual exploration through art and living vicariously through characters. Do you think this would be a good idea? Let me know in the comments!

Misc.

Going to attend Sex Down South. Commissioning art of my new character, Bellephagor. Reading a series of witchy thriller novels. Starting up my daily writing. Drinking an Americano in bed. Watering my pet basil plant, Jeffrey. Switching between the Zumio and the Magic Wand Rechargeable whenever I fancy it. Buying toys on r/usedsextoys. Buying cute enamel pins. Going to a business party with my partner’s coworkers. Drinking honey beer. Watching the Dark Crystal and the Netflix Series it spawned. Marathoning the Rocky Movies.

Uncategorized, Writing and Blogging

Liz’s Summer Reading List

I miss summer reading. I know it’s a weird thing to say, most people hated reading for a grade. But I was always a teacher’s pet and I loved getting the book read. Now, I didn’t necessarily love the assignments that came along with the book, but I did enjoy poring over the volumes themselves. I’m now fully a year out of college and what am I doing with my downtime? I’m assigning myself some summer reading to edify myself. Oh hell yeah.

After a trip to the local Barnes and Noble, I’ve picked up quite the selection of books that I want to conquer this summer. If anyone wants to read along with me or is simply interested in what I’m doing in my downtime besides jerking off and writing, here’s what I’m reading:

Do I Make Myself Clear?

I am always looking for books to sharpen my writing skills. And I believe that I have. I’m paring my down my adverbs and honing my vocabulary to a keen edge so that I can write in a clear and evocative voice.

Girls & Sex

I grabbed this book not really knowing what it would be about, but picked up because it has to do with sex right? Yeah, okay that’s not the best reason to get a book but hey, it’s not a bad reason. After doing a little research, it looks like the author is examining today’s sexual landscape and the generational gap. Huh, this could be really fun to examine!

Dead Girls

I’m a fan of horror and I’m a feminist, so to find something that pings both of those interests is worth picking up. Dead Girls examines the pop culture trope of the murdered girl. The use of the murdered girl as a trope to bolster the stories of men is one that I’m excited to learn more about.

Pleasure Activism

I don’t believe I read enough work by women of color, so Pleasure Activism seems like an excellent place to get started. Pleasure Activism is a book written by a black woman about how we can use the erotic to empower ourselves and use it for social justice purposes. I’ve found the language a bit slippery for myself, but I’m going to keep trying and I’m sure I’ll eventually get through it. Wish me luck!

The Submissive

Listen, this is really just…smut. But listen, I have a very good reason for assigning myself smut! I know that 50 Shades Of Grey is trash, but this seems to be much in the same vein as 50 Shades, and I wonder if it’s better written. So I may end up having to get 50 Shades Of Gray to compare the two. Although, maybe they’re both trash. Anyway, got to get back to my VERY important summer reading!

Middlemarch

The last book on this list is a much vaunted classic, Middlemarch. In spite of hearing about it, I picked it up not really knowing what to expect. This is my densest read and it’s one I’ll need the most support to get through if I want to make it 100% of the way through my summer reading list. If I whine about this book on Twitter, please slap my wrist and tell me to slog on!

Gosh I can’t wait to actually sit down and get my reading done. What do you think of my list? What’s on your own summer reading list? Let me know in the comments!

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May Wrap Up: Health, Heat and Home

Partnered Life

The 27th of this month marked one month of my boyfriend and I living together! We’ve finally gotten rid of all of our boxes and the place looks quite livable now. I’m in love with how bright this place is. We’ve made meals and had champagne here, so it’s truly become our place.

My boyfriend and I also had a vacation this month! We went to the Outer Banks and enjoyed some surf and sun. It was tons of fun, and I’ve collected many shells and sunburns from our trip. I highly recommend going there if you ever get the chance.

In addition to our beach trip, my boyfriend and I have also been out and about visiting my parents and my aunt. My aunt lives far out in the sticks, so we got to have a taste of country living. Donkeys brayed louder than I’d imagined they could; I held baby chickens who were cottony soft balls that scampered and peeped and I dangled my feet in an icy cold pool. I also had an exquisite Italian Cream Cake baked for my birthday. Simply glorious!

Health and Wellness

Well, this month was kind of tough on my health. I know it feels like I say that most every month, but this month has gifted me something new: a birthday scar! I have a little notch right between my eyes from firing a gun much larger than my petite size could handle. The kick back got me between the eyes and frightened my boyfriend. With luck my little scar will fill in, but if not, I’ll console myself by saying that it gives my face character.

The other major thing that happened this month, at least in the health department was dealing with my mother’s severe health crises. In the week after my birthday, my mother was in and out of the hospital and I flew back to make sure that she was alright and to be there for her. We don’t know why this happened to her; my mother has perfect health. But with medicine and a cautious recovery plan, it looks like my family and I can expect to see her recover.

Turn Ons and Toys

Well, when I wasn’t dealing with vacations or health crises, I did get a little horny. Here’s whats been on my mind and in my various orifices…

This month I’ve been a little erotically curious; I’ve been dipping my toes into more medical themed fetishes and anal play. I’m not always turned on by hot doctors giving me an exam, but something about May had me excited about getting finger fucked by a latex clad professional. I asked about this on Twitter and was welcomed by my people. So are rubber gloves a fetish unto themselves or merely a subdivision of the latex fetish. That might be something to examine in a later post…

I’ve made no secret of my desire to acquire knotted dildos, and XenoCat Artifacts has stepped up! I’ve gotten my hands on a GORGEOUS specimen called the Barghest. Given the pastel pinks and purples, I like to imagine this dildo is modeled off a pastel goth were-hyena girl who will knot me and dominate me. She’d be soft where I want her and hard where I need her and I realize I’m sounding more like a furry every minute.

The other toys I’ve been absolutely enamored of are the Zumio, which I got from Kitten (she’s amazing and HILARIOUS) and the Sensi from Uberrime which I reviewed here. One provides the most focused clitoral stimulation I’ve ever had, and the other provides effortless pussy-plugging pleasure. I’ll reviewing the Zumio soon enough, along with a few other adorable orange toys, but if you haven’t read my Sensi review, I’ll sum it up: IF YOU HAVE A VAG, BUY IT!

Miscellaneous

Getting farm fresh eggs. Washing a new and extremely soft blanket. Talking about book ideas with the boyfriend. Getting back to writing consistently. Getting books on sex and books on writing. Drinking my favorite San Pellegrino flavor. Making waffles with my boyfriend. Collecting seashells. Searching pet stores for ferrets. Returning books to the library. Slapping dildos suctioned to the wall. Complimenting my friend’s new look. Getting ready to start my new job. Becoming obsessed with the smell of lavender. Having slow, leisurely sex. Getting sandwiches from my new favorite café. Getting a coffee table. Sleeping with my boyfriend every night.

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The Nasty Jacket Project

During the summer of 2018, I made a decision to pick up a denim jacket at a thrift store. That sparked a summer long project of collecting pins, patches and flair for my jacket to craft it into a perfect statement piece. During my search for the perfect assortment of pins and patches for this jacket, I found that there were a number of artists who made pins to signal some of my raunchier interests. While I can’t wear these pins out on a day to day basis, these pins have got me fantasizing about a new jacket. If I were to pick up a new denim jacket, I’d make it the Nasty Jacket. The Nasty Jacket would have only my NSFW flair on it, to let everyone know EXACTLY what I’m into and would make me look cute at the same time.

My Nasty Jacket doesn’t exist, but if I ever get the chance and some free time, here’s some flair I’d love to pin on it!

Shibari Enamel Pin by Twisted Jute
- This is a kinda subtle pin for those of us who love rope bondage, but it’s still blatant enough to raise some eyebrows.
Banana Dick Pin by TheKinkyPeachShop
- Look this pin is kinda goofy BUT it’s cute and it lets people know I’m interested in cock…and possibly interested in sucking cock.
Impact Play Merit Badge by Kinktionary
- I love being spanked and the merit badge aesthetic is just PERFECT. I’d love to be gifted this pin from a dominant after weathering a potent impact play session.
Twisted Monk Enamel Pin or Patch
- Either of these would work great for me since I’m a fan of Twisted Monk’s Rope kit. I still have my cotton rope set that I got in 2017 and my partner and have fond memories of tying me up in my dorm room.
Bruise Me by Cunning Linguist Co
- The peach is adorable okay, and it lets my partner know that I want his hands all over my ass. I actually already own this pin; Cunning Linguist had a sale and I snapped it up immediately!
Monster Fucker Pins by Strange Bed Fellas
- In addition to having some of the most GORGEOUS dildos (I am LUSTING over the Tyv, it’s such a handsome toy), this pin represents my love of monster boys and girls. Perfect for wearing when writing smutty Monster Prom fan fiction.
Love Bound Shibari Pin by Sugarbones
- More rope bondage? More rope bondage. But this time in a pastel, cutesy aesthetic that suits me when I’m feeling more girly. I own the Babe With the Power pin already and I wear on my jacket all the time, so naturally I’d have to add Sugarbones to the Nasty Jacket.
Horny Enamel Pin by Sugarbones
- I’m a little bit high libido, and this is a cute way to let people know. Also, it does have a little plausible deniability…so maybe I could wear it on my sfw jacket.
Slut Pin by Cutie Cult 666
- Blatant and slutty but still super cute. Slut is one of the things I enjoy being called during sex, and pinning on my jacket would give me kind of a risky thrill. A little exhibitionist, a little bit quirky and completely cute.
BDSM Pin by Geeky and Kinky
- Simple and to the point without being too dirty. This might be good for those of who are kinky and understated. I’m rarely understated, but I would wear to events that are sex positive but I’m not familiar with anyone there.
Kink Scout Patches by Threadmancer
- While none of these are my kink, the scout aesthetic got me again ugh. What can I say? I wish there were more merit badge style kink pieces of flair!
Rope and Rose Patch by AnnaRoseIllustration
- This is a classy way to flag bondage, and this list needed more patches. I can see this sewn onto the sleeve of my jacket, an elegant and kinky piece.
Cock Sucker Pin by Trash4Posers
- Trash 4 Posers used to have a Cum Slut pin if I recall correctly, but it seems to be discontinued. All the same, I’m gunning to hone my blowjob skills and this is a good way to incorporate that into my flair.
Pervert Pin by L’Amour Propre
- I got a custom ‘Nymphomaniac’ pin from L’Amour Propre a while ago, and it adorns my bag now! But unfortunately I’m still thirsty for L’Amour Propre so I’d snag this pin for the Nasty Jacket in a second.
Top Bottom or Switch Pin by New York Toy Collective
- THIS PIN IS SO COOL. The ability to signal if I want to bottom or top is a really neat thing, and when I saw it I knew it’d be perfect for the NSFW version of my denim jacket.

This is a lot of flair for one jacket, but I just can’t help it. I love pins and flair, and I love kink, so blending the two together is going to create a jacket so bedecked in pins and patches that the denim will be almost invisible. It’s not a jacket I could wear on the daily, but something I’d admire in my wardrobe all the time.

What kinky flair have you seen? What would you put on your jacket? Let me know!

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22 Achievements From 22 Years

Hey y’all! My birthday was just a few days ago and I’ve turned 23! I’ve been pretty productive as a 22 year old, and here’s what I’ve managed to accomplish.