August Wrap Up: Ballin’ on a Budget

Partnered Life

My partner is home and we’re back to our regular sexual program! We’ve been adoring having one another back in the bed together.

Another thing that we’re delighting in is our coffee drinking lives. The partner and I have inherited a frankly astonishing espresso machine that is making our caffeinated lives blissful.

My partner and I also went to DragonCon! We didn’t stay long, just passed through but it was a delightful experience. I got a few souvenirs in the form of T-shirts with a gothic vibe.

Health and Wellness

I’ve felt in better spirits this month thanks to the return of my partner. I’ve started sleeping more regularly and feel fit to continue my work writing! With my depression eased, expect to see more posts around here!

I plan on writing consistently, as well as getting to bed earlier.

Turn ons and Toys

This month  I’ve managed to procure some truly astonishing toys at bargain prices! I’ve worked my deals and used black magic to find the Vixen Johnny in Single Density, The Jopen Comet Key Wand, and the Magic Wand Rechargeable all at different price points but all significantly below their normal purchase price. The highest I paid was $79, and that was for the Magic Wand Rechargeable

I’m also making September the Month of Magic! I’ll be reviewing all my fantasy toys. They are:

Turn ons this month have tended towards the voyeuristic and the exhibitionist. Sometimes I fantasize about walking in on someone masturbating and watching them go at it while I rub one out secretly. But often I fantasize about someone catching me masturbating and finding the sight so incredibly arousing that they can’t help but jerk off.

bratphomet casual

I’ve also been fantasizing so much about my demon fantasy (that I’ve mentioned previously) that I’ve commissioned a character to act out that fantasy! You’ve seen her on my Twitter and I’m formally introducing her now on my blog. Her name is Bellephagor, and she’s a Baphomet. Standing at 5’0″, she’s short but imposing. She’s also the Head of the Torture Department in Hell. Rumor has it that she’s known to sexually torment a lucky few sinners~. This makes me want to write a post about sexual exploration through art and living vicariously through characters. Do you think this would be a good idea? Let me know in the comments!

Misc.

Going to attend Sex Down South. Commissioning art of my new character, Bellephagor. Reading a series of witchy thriller novels. Starting up my daily writing. Drinking an Americano in bed. Watering my pet basil plant, Jeffrey. Switching between the Zumio and the Magic Wand Rechargeable whenever I fancy it. Buying toys on r/usedsextoys. Buying cute enamel pins. Going to a business party with my partner’s coworkers. Drinking honey beer. Watching the Dark Crystal and the Netflix Series it spawned. Marathoning the Rocky Movies.

June + July Wrap Up: Empty Bed Blues

This post has been a long time coming, so I appreciate everyone waiting for me! I’ve been dealing with bouts of depression and burn out, so finally getting this post out feels like a big weight off me! Now I’ll get my reviews in after this…

Partnered Life

My partnered life has been kind of non-existent lately. Why’s that you may ask? Well, my boyfriend is out of the country, and that’s had the both of us feeling lonely. While the boyfriend and I make sure to have a phone call everyday, I miss waking up next to him in bed.

The good news is that of time of writing this piece, my boyfriend will be home in just a few days! We’ve got lots planned for our reunion, and I plan on it being smashing.

Health and Wellness

Like my partnered life, my health and wellness have sort of been taking a back seat as I deal with loneliness and with getting used to my new job! However! All hope is not lost, as I’ve started making a few changes for the better. I’ve started hiking the trails near my apartment and I’ve generally increased my water in take to help me sleep better at night.

As of time of writing, my meditation practice and daily writing goals have fallen off. So, my new goal is to not beat myself up over this, but to allow myself to ease back into these practices. Here’s hoping that I can get back into it!

Turn Ons and Toys

Due to my partner’s aforementioned absence, toys have figured more prominently than ever in my solo sex life. More specifically, The Strange Bedfellas Tyv, the Uberrime Bella, and the Spirito have been my bedside companions for the past month and a half. I’m a big fan of the girth that the Tyv rocks, and the Bella is just…bellissima. Absolutely perfect in terms of softness and comfort for when I don’t want a wank that’s overwhelming. Using the Bella is like the dildo equivalent of a gentle, capable masseuse working out all the knots in your anxious, tight shoulders. Except in this case it’s my vagina.

With regards to my fantasy life, I’ve been big into the bimbo/braindrain fetish. Something about being a brainless slut happily slurping cocks has been really appealing. Maybe it’s the inability to feel anxiety? Maybe it’s the freedom of reclaiming sexist tropes? Or maybe I just really want to suck some dick. Its anyone’s guess.

Misc

Visiting home and buying new wine glasses. Trying on new perfumes. Seeing a heron snatch a fish out of the water. Petting dogs at the office. Ordering new enamel pins. Buying discounted dildos. Drinking grapefruit San Pellegrino mixed with white wine. Writing a post again. Saying ‘I love you’. Getting a Moleskine notebook as a souvenir. Texting good friends. Making plans to attend a conference.

May Wrap Up: Health, Heat and Home

Partnered Life

The 27th of this month marked one month of my boyfriend and I living together! We’ve finally gotten rid of all of our boxes and the place looks quite livable now. I’m in love with how bright this place is. We’ve made meals and had champagne here, so it’s truly become our place.

My boyfriend and I also had a vacation this month! We went to the Outer Banks and enjoyed some surf and sun. It was tons of fun, and I’ve collected many shells and sunburns from our trip. I highly recommend going there if you ever get the chance.

In addition to our beach trip, my boyfriend and I have also been out and about visiting my parents and my aunt. My aunt lives far out in the sticks, so we got to have a taste of country living. Donkeys brayed louder than I’d imagined they could; I held baby chickens who were cottony soft balls that scampered and peeped and I dangled my feet in an icy cold pool. I also had an exquisite Italian Cream Cake baked for my birthday. Simply glorious!

Health and Wellness

Well, this month was kind of tough on my health. I know it feels like I say that most every month, but this month has gifted me something new: a birthday scar! I have a little notch right between my eyes from firing a gun much larger than my petite size could handle. The kick back got me between the eyes and frightened my boyfriend. With luck my little scar will fill in, but if not, I’ll console myself by saying that it gives my face character.

The other major thing that happened this month, at least in the health department was dealing with my mother’s severe health crises. In the week after my birthday, my mother was in and out of the hospital and I flew back to make sure that she was alright and to be there for her. We don’t know why this happened to her; my mother has perfect health. But with medicine and a cautious recovery plan, it looks like my family and I can expect to see her recover.

Turn Ons and Toys

Well, when I wasn’t dealing with vacations or health crises, I did get a little horny. Here’s whats been on my mind and in my various orifices…

This month I’ve been a little erotically curious; I’ve been dipping my toes into more medical themed fetishes and anal play. I’m not always turned on by hot doctors giving me an exam, but something about May had me excited about getting finger fucked by a latex clad professional. I asked about this on Twitter and was welcomed by my people. So are rubber gloves a fetish unto themselves or merely a subdivision of the latex fetish. That might be something to examine in a later post…

I’ve made no secret of my desire to acquire knotted dildos, and XenoCat Artifacts has stepped up! I’ve gotten my hands on a GORGEOUS specimen called the Barghest. Given the pastel pinks and purples, I like to imagine this dildo is modeled off a pastel goth were-hyena girl who will knot me and dominate me. She’d be soft where I want her and hard where I need her and I realize I’m sounding more like a furry every minute.

The other toys I’ve been absolutely enamored of are the Zumio, which I got from Kitten (she’s amazing and HILARIOUS) and the Sensi from Uberrime which I reviewed here. One provides the most focused clitoral stimulation I’ve ever had, and the other provides effortless pussy-plugging pleasure. I’ll reviewing the Zumio soon enough, along with a few other adorable orange toys, but if you haven’t read my Sensi review, I’ll sum it up: IF YOU HAVE A VAG, BUY IT!

Miscellaneous

Getting farm fresh eggs. Washing a new and extremely soft blanket. Talking about book ideas with the boyfriend. Getting back to writing consistently. Getting books on sex and books on writing. Drinking my favorite San Pellegrino flavor. Making waffles with my boyfriend. Collecting seashells. Searching pet stores for ferrets. Returning books to the library. Slapping dildos suctioned to the wall. Complimenting my friend’s new look. Getting ready to start my new job. Becoming obsessed with the smell of lavender. Having slow, leisurely sex. Getting sandwiches from my new favorite café. Getting a coffee table. Sleeping with my boyfriend every night.

April Wrap Up: Moving, Malaise and Morning Pages

Partnered Life

My partner and I have been in a trying time what with his graduation and us moving in together! With all these moving parts, we’ve been working to remain intimate, but we’re looking forward to the relief we’ll feel once we finally get unpacked! Right now, there’s currently a metric ass ton of boxes in our place. So most of this week we’ll be sorting through our stuff and trying to make our place more of a home.

In addition to this nonsense,  my boyfriend and I plan on christening the apartment by having sex as soon as we canI am delighted to finally have a new space and I will be moving into a safer neighborhood.

Also, I’ve learned the unfortunate reality of couples: if one of us gets sick, we both do. The night after my boyfriend’s last day of classes he got sick and I took care of him the next day. But then I ended up contracting the same sickness. I had a fever for a few days while we were moving and I felt just like a rotisserie chicken as we moved. Luckily I’m starting to recover and having some down time has let me get back to posting on this blog! I’m hoping to write twice weekly again as things calm down and we settle into a routine.

Health and Wellness

With both my boyfriend and I both sick, this section is again a little light. We both remembered the power of the power up potion: a tea made with lemon, ginger and honey and drank scalding hot. It’s our go to for sick days and it’s healthier than Gatorade.

In terms of mental health though, I’ve found doing my morning pages works wonders for my brain! Spilling out onto the page in the morning puts me in touch with my thoughts and feelings in a very tangible way. It also helps me recognize my goals. In fact, journaling is what made want to start my very own sex blog, so getting back into it is refreshing.

Also, I’ve been taking more time to sit and read books, which has proved to be very relaxing and helps me get to sleep. I’ve just finished Bird by Bird and The Artist’s Way and I’m on to reading How to Write a Novel in 30 Days as well as A Billion Wicked Thoughts and the novel Supermarket. And I finished listening to the first book in the Game of Thrones series, so I think I’m making a great deal of progress on my reading list!

Turn ons and Toys

I’ve been in LOVE with Uberrime’s Uberron. I’ve got both the A and the B for when I want a stretch (which is often). I’ve also been reading more porn than watching it, which is a refreshing change for me. I’ve found dommy scenes to be extremely hot, especially with spanking and fingering scenes. I want my boyfriend to bend me over his lap and go to town on my fat ass now. Maybe I could convince him to finger my ass too…

I’ve also been DREAMING about the Doxy I got from my pal SugarCunt! I’ve been looking for a powerful wand to bully my clit and I’m finally getting a Doxy! I’ve talked about wanting one before, but it’s only recently that I finally nerved up and got one! As soon as I get one in hand, I have no doubt it’ll be used for forced orgasm scenes, reviews and much more. I’ve got a backlog of dildo reviews, so having this sucker will be instrumental in my playtime as clit stim.

Also, I’ve been thinking about writing Avenger’s fanfiction ever since I went to see Endgame. Specifically, I want all of the male cast to get topped by the female cast. I’m a sucker for femdom and for guys getting the strap, so you may see some of that on my blog!

Miscellaneous 

Having a regular order at my favorite pizza place. Checking out books from the library and finishing them. Taking the window seat by the café and doing my morning pages. Petting my foster kitty. Discovering new cafés to eat at. Taking care of my sick partner. Watching kaiju films naked with my boyfriend in our new apartment. Making coffee. Telling my boyfriend about my kinks. Writing in a Moleskine journal. Bathing in my new tub. Talking to friends. Writing bad poetry.

March Wrap Up: Cafés and Crazy Karate TV Shows

Whew! This is a little bit late, but here’s what I was up to in March!

Partnered Life

The boyfriend and I are in the process of moving! We’re going to be moving in together and finding a place has been exhausting. We’ve seen at least six apartments and we’re also looking at townhouses, so it’s a long journey.

I’ve also introduced my boyfriend to a goofy show called ‘Into The Badlands‘. There’s some influence from old karate movies, so the fight scenes are ridiculous. My boyfriend has to start drinking before he can enjoy the show and he can only watch ten minutes at a time. I like it a good bit more since I find it funny and uplifting despite the over the top fight scenes. It’s nice to have a bit of escapism. Breaking Bad is the other show we watch, but we mostly refer to it as ‘Depression’. Ex: ‘What do you want to watch tonight hun?’ ‘How about some depression?’ ‘Excellent.

In addition to Betrayal, the Rocket Science couple has acquired a new board game: Settlers of Catan and its respective expansions. Many is the night where we’ve bickered over the trading and cussed at each other for getting cut off in our territorial expansion.

The Rocket Science couple has also developed a fierce and abiding love of dumplings. We’ve been frying up huge batches of them when we want something quick. Our favorites are the pork and chives fillings. Also, I often grab a box of mochi for our dessert!

Health and Wellness

Since I’ve been coaching more often, I’ve noticed my fitness improving! However, my sleep schedule of late has been down the drain. Going to bed past midnight most every night has left me lethargic and with little appetite for sex or masturbation until well in the afternoon! And the shortening of my days has me cranky.

I’ve been doing fairly well on my new prescription of anti-depressants, though I have noticed a slight lowering of libido. With my ultra ADHD brain though, it’s been difficult to take it consistently. Here’s hoping I can rectify that!

Soliciting any sleep tips from my wonderful blog squad!

Turn Ons and Toys

The Exposed Nocturnal is a perennial favorite. I used it this month during sex with my boyfriend and it was amazing. Apparently he could feel the vibrations while he fucked me, which was awesome! I’m hoping to get a wand vibrator to put it in the mix. I’ve been lusting after the new Doxys so I’m hoping I might get tapped to review them! That or I suppose I’ll save up and purchase that DREAMY red #3.

I’ve been fantasizing a lot lately about being a demon torturing a sinner, and it’s found its way onto my Twitter in the forms of horny musings. I wish I could be a demon tormenting a sinner! I’d make my sinner do cardio, cracking them across the ass with the crop if they weren’t running fast enough. This probably came about from me reading the Love in Hell manga. Although, I also want to be the sinner being tortured by the demon! I ended up writing out a torture scenario in my daily writings…maybe I’ll post it sometime?

In addition to this, I’ve also fantasized about being a mean girl domme. I want to be the cheerleader captain bullying one of the other girls in school in a sexy way. I even thought of a way to use croquet mallets and dildos in a scene reminiscent of the classic Heathers film. Heather Chandler is an icon forever and always and while I don’t often wish I were her, I sometimes want to inhabit her role now and again.

Miscellaneous 

Reading ‘Sex Outside the Lines’ and penning snarky tweets about it. Discovering a new café to write in. Re-visiting an old anime roleplay website for research. Playing Catan until late at night. Getting compliments on my jacket. Talking to sex toy makers that I adore. Forming friendships with other bloggers. Listening to A Song of Ice and Fire on my way to a job interview. Drinking almond flavored coffee with my boyfriend. Holding a ferret. Finding a new matte pink lipstick. Laughing so hard I cry. Eating too much butter cake. Making plans to go to sex conferences.

February Wrap Up: Silicone Sucking and Sickness

Partnered Life

Ah Valentine’s Day. I spent it cooking and fretting over my boyfriend. While I did make the best potatoes I ever made, my boyfriend came down with a fever. So we mostly crashed and watched stuff on TV. I made him a health potion with lemon and honey and boiling hot water and had one myself to boost my vitamin C levels. Then we slept under a weighted blanket.

My partner and I also started watching Breaking Bad since I’ve never seen it. I know I’m behind the times but I usually am. Maybe I’ll get around to watching She-Ra someday…until then I’m watching back episodes of Better Call Saul, Goliath and Breaking Bad.

We’ve also discovered that Lazy Dog is one of THE BEST sex positions for us. He just lays on me for a while after he cums and it’s fantastic. Sometimes we’ll roll over to spoon with his cock still inside of me after a creampie and we just spoon while his dick softens inside of me. It’s intensely intimate and erotic and probably one of my most favorite things that we do sexually. Feeling someone go soft inside me is a really unique sensation!

I’ve also gotten back into giving my partner oral. Blowing him while he watches a show on Netflix is kinda one of my favorite things. I love it as a form of foreplay or as an event all of its own!

Health and Wellness

This month I went in for some routine testing, which I detailed in my previous post. It pretty severely impacted my stress levels and libido such that it was a hard month for me to get any testing done. However, now that those issues have been resolved, I’m fully back into the swing of things!

My boyfriend and I also made an amazing financial decision: we purchased a weighted blanket! It’s supposed to help lower stress by activating the parasympathetic nervous system which then puts you into ‘rest and digest’ mode which is better than our sympathetic nervous system or ‘flight or fight’ mode. We’ve both noticed lowered stress levels under it and better sleep due to the blanket.

I started a course of anti-depressants, a low dosage. I’ve noticed that I’ve had a lower libido initially, but as I’ve gotten used to the medication, I’ve noticed a return in my nymphomaniacal sex drive. It’s amazing wanting penetration again after a whole month of feeling like I had numb or locked up genitals!

I’ve also started a period tracker app! I’ve recorded the whole month in the app so far and I plan on reviewing it later. I use Clue and I find it really useful for tracking more than my cycle, I can use it to record my sexual life, my weight and my sleep habits! Collecting data about all of this is really fascinating. I also realize I need to improve my sleep schedule.

Also, I’ve noticed I’ve started feeling way more positive now since I’ve been working out more regularly! I know I advocate a lot for exercise, I should remember to do it myself! It has so many benefits (and post workout sweaty sex is incredibly hot).

I don’t know where else to put this, but I wanna let everyone know that I did just finish Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski and I LOVE IT. It’s not the typical sex manual describing acts that will mechanically get a person off. It describes sexual psychology, gives concrete examples and made me feel more at home in my body. I now want to look up some G-spotting manuals and see if I can learn to squirt and I desperately wanna read more sex lit! That and I’d love to read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.

Turn Ons and Toys

It’s not a toy, but I did get a one month porn subscription to Lust Cinemas. The films have been MAJORLY hit or miss. My Roommate’s Toy and Dirty Doctor were very hot, featuring the glorious Pure Wand in all its gleaming glory. There were moans and . Pouring Pleasure and My First Time Eating Oysters and Pussy were both kinda boring and didn’t show enough of the labia.

I’m really fascinated by thick and knotted toys this month. XenoCat’s Barghest and Primal Hardwere make knotted toys that are just to DIE for. Also, HodgePodge Entourage made a jawbreaker-esque Changeling that made me SALIVATE. Would that I could own it! I’m also fascinated by the new Magic Wand…I’m going to get my hands on it!!

I’ve also been sucking on the Fuze Major, an uncut dildo that has been on my mind, and in my mouth and vag. Also! It’s oral season for the Monthly Fixation, so dildo blowjobs are thematically appropriate no?

Miscellaneous

Having friends over to play Betrayal. Wearing ultra glittery highlighter on days I’m most definitely not getting laid. Getting donuts after getting my blood drawn. Celebrating my false positive diagnosis. Explaining the gas-and-breaks metaphor to my partner. Drinking half a bottle of white wine and then tipsily declaring my love to partner.

January Wrap Up: Cuddling, Cold, and Cute Dildos

Let’s kill this cold month and get outta here y’all, it literally feels like January 78th. I’m tired of it being freezing and also January. One of these things will happen, though I don’t anticipate it getting any warmer soon! So what have I been up to…

Partnered Life

My partner and I are incorporating Deep Pressure Therapy into our cuddling and physical intimacy. My partner and I have been under a lot of stress this month regarding employment and making big life changes in the coming future. After reading about deep pressure therapy, we tried it the low cost way. By which I mean, I laid on top of my partner like a 105 lb. girl shaped blanket for a half hour. The combination of skin to skin contact and pressure was incredibly soothing. We switch off being each other’s human blankets and it’s a great low effort form of intimacy. It’s perfect for when you want to be physically intimate with your partner but one or both of you isn’t in a good head space for sex (or perhaps, one or both of you just doesn’t want to have sex).

We’ve started watching Freeman’s Mind, a YouTube series that’s about what goes on in Dr. Freeman’s mind as he fights his way out of Black Mesa. Confession: I’ve never played Half Life. But I still really enjoy this YouTube series. It’s tightly written, comically violent and very irreverent. It’s sort of my go to brain popcorn when I’m with my partner. Many are the evenings where we both crawl onto the couch and feel beat up, so putting on Freeman’s Mind and clapping along to the intro is something that makes us both feel relaxed.

Earlier this month I bought and played a board game called Betrayal at the House on the Hill. My boyfriend and I love boardgames so fucking much. I bought this at Hobbytown over the holidays and we both love it to death. We only wish we could get our other friends to play it with us. I like that it functions like DnD lite and is slightly more accessible. It takes up to six people to play, has 50 scenarios, and it spooky enough for my horror inclined tastes.

Health and Wellness

In the best interest of my body, I’ve started eating more regularly and being more mindful of my health. I have a breakfast menu now which is essentially just: oatmeal with granola, a cup of coffee and a banana with chunky peanut butter. It’s inexpensive, decently healthy and filling. Great for recovering all the weight I lost over the holidays!

I’ve also started a nightly ritual that includes journaling, closing down all my screens, drinking two glasses of water and meditating. I haven’t been keeping it up every night, but I’ve noticed that I’m starting to fall asleep earlier! Success!

Maybe it’s from watching Jenna Marbles, maybe it’s from all the articles about how harmful the meat industry is, but I’ve been sort of gravitating to vegetarian/vegan food options. I’ve also noticed that it’s less expensive in a lot of ways and that you can make big batches of food and just eat off that for a week. I like that a lot. I also liked the vegan dumplings I had just the other day. FUCK THEY WERE GOOD.

Possibly because of stress (almost certainly because of stress), I’ve lost a lot of flirty energy in my life. Most of my texts have been some variation of ‘wanna cuddle?’. Which is perfectly valid, but I miss the teasing, exciting nature of flirtation. I wanna freshen up my flirting landscape

Turn ons and Toys

This month was stressful, but there were still some sexy aspects to it. This month has included a bunch of stuff like…

I’ve been super into dildos with foreskin lately. Something about the foreskin just is such a turn on, especially if the dildo is already girthy. I’ve been eyeing the Changeling from Hodgepodge Entourage (I won a dildo from them, the Sylph model). I also like the look of the Leviathan from Dread The Empire.

Nipple clamps are something I love aesthetically but historically haven’t enjoyed when they’re on my physical body. I have been trying so hard to like the nipple clamps I got from Tantus a while back. They still hurt so fucking bad.

This month I got sent a realistic dildo (review to come!) and I immediately tried it in my harness. Wearing a realistic dildo in my harness and jacking off in the mirror was both hot and an out of body experience. I really did wanna fuck that girl in the mirror.

I also discovered how intense my come fetish is. Know it’s a fantasy, but the idea of being absolutely showered in semen is super hot for me. I’m thinking of writing some erotica around it. Or maybe a Cryptokink since I don’t see anyone talking about the inflation fetish.

Mini-vibes have saved my masturbating life. With the Tri-It or the Exposed Nocturnal pressed against my clit, I can get off without a whole lot of effort. Also the controls are fucking great on these and I can easily adjust the intensity, perfect for trawling for pornographic fanfiction.

When my boyfriend and I DID have sex, we used the Butters as lube. Partially because it’s a great lube and partially because it was the easiest lube to access. It was on the nightstand while the Sliquid was in the drawer and my boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to open a drawer. Not that I’m complaining, I fucking love the Butters.

Miscellaneous 

Frying vegan dumplings for the first time. Filling the bird feeder. Spending lots of time cuddling with my boyfriend. Watching Sex Education. Playing dumb card games in a tent in the freezing cold. Recovering from trauma. Putting on eye and cheek glitter to feel more human. Buying cute underwear. Making Valentine’s Day plans. Walking to a donut shop. Working out for the first time in a while. Sending ab pics.