review – Rocket Girl Writes

Scents For Every Occasion: Perfume Review

Over the past few years, I’ve developed a feminine side. The pandemic really kicked it off, with nothing to do outside, I started focusing on skin care and collecting makeup pieces. I purchased one of my first Anastasia Beverly Hills palettes and began experimenting with it, to some success. My interest in self care and beauty products grew, and then diversified. And this interest led me down a rabbit hole, one that I may never escape.

If you ask my friends, they will tell you that I love things that smell good. Soap, body oil, scented candles and most notably…perfumes. I’ve been thinking about my perfume obsession a lot lately, and wanted to go through a few I’ve purchased and one I’ve been given (thank you The Butters!) and talk about why I like them and when and why you might like them.

The first scent I want to talk about is Philosophy’s Pure Grace. When I bought it, it retailed for around $23 and came in a little square glass bottle. At the time I got it, I had no idea what I wanted, except that I wanted something pleasant and neutral. And, well, Pure Grace is just that. It smells like a white cotton t-shirt on laundry day, mixed with sunscreen and rain. Basically, it’s fresh and clean! I wear Pure Grace just about anywhere, because the scent is so nice and the price is pretty low, so I don’t feel bad about using it to my heart’s content. But Pure Grace is really made for those casual days for when smelling nice is just for you. I highly recommend this as a spring scent.

Fresh And Clean is Get The Butter’s answer to Philosophy’s Pure Grace. The scents have some cross over, sharing an affinity for bright citrusy top notes and a musky dry down. Both feel clean ‘n green in a way that makes you feel like dancing! However, when I wore Fresh And Clean, it hung around closer to my skin and didn’t project off me in the way that Pure Grace did. This, of course, is great for people who aren’t looking to blast the walls down with perfume. The occasion for Fresh And Clean would be a first date scent, something that your date would notice when they came in for a hug at the end of the night. Not too aggressively sexy and yet pleasant and lingering, just how a date should be. I highly recommend Fresh And Clean for indoor settings so that you won’t be announcing to the whole office that you’re wearing perfume. Although, if you’re looking to avoid activating sensitivities, just don’t wear perfume around them!

I also have to mention that right now, Fresh and Clean is $5, which is a steal! And you’d be supporting a black owned business that I love and have reviewed here with a lot of love.

Now we get to my weirder/more gourmand perfumes. These are for people who appreciate weird, so buckle in!

Alkemia’s County Fair is a recent favorite of mine. If you take a look at the listing on Fragrantica, you’ll see that it lists pink cotton candy, hot kettle corn, funnel cakes, candied apples, and saltwater taffy. Now, I don’t know if I picked up all of that, but I can say that DAMN that kettlecorn note is present! It’s so strange, I take a whiff of it from the bottle and all I can smell is the popcorn note, but it mellows out really sweetly on my skin. But for whatever reason, I’m sad to notice that popcorn note fading. Now, why anyone would want to smell like the bustling air of a fair is a little beyond me, but I think I know that it grew on me because I haven’t been to one in years.

County Fair hangs out close to the skin and doesn’t project, which is great because a rolling cloud of popcorn announcing my arrival doesn’t sound awesome. But I love that I can smell it on me all day. If I had to come up with a place to wear County Fair, I would probably suggest an artsy kind of event. If you could screen an obscure movie or go see an exhibit for free, County Fair would kind of rule for that.

The last perfume I’ll introduce is one from a perfume house called Hexxenacht. I received Frickin Bats as a sample in one of my orders and I fell head over heels with it. It smells like a candy skeleton. Or a cookie. Or both. Basically, Frickin Bats smells like Halloween should. And it PROJECTS. The sample had a nice presence to it, but readers, I will tell you, that when a bottle explodes over your luggage, it is over powering. So get it, but uh…make sure you don’t break it!

Perfume has been an obsession of mine I’ve been dying to write about for a while, so it felt good to write this post and stretch my legs. Hopefully, posts like this are a sign of my triumphant return!

Get The Butters sent me Fresh and Clean to review, but all opinions within this post are my own. Thank you Get The Butters!

Reviews

Review: The Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine

I usually prefer pinpoint vibrators. This has been documented on my blog, with my love for the Blush Nocturnal and the Zumio being two of my favorites. And yet, I’m not monogamous with my vibrators, so I ventured out to try something new: The Yummy Sunshine by Satisfyer. I’ve never had any luck using internal vibrators, but after reading up on it, I knew I had to give it a shot.

I was nervous when I first tried the Yummy Sunshine, just as I usually am on a first date. I made sure it was charged, clean and ready to go. I pressed the center button to get that yellow beast rumbling and touched it to my clit…and oh yes. Instant NRE the likes of which I haven’t felt since I got a new crush.

The Yummy Sunshine has 6 intensities, which fucking rocks. However, I only use the top 4 settings, the first two are too gentle for my taste. The quality of the vibration is also incredible. Usually for vibrators around this price point and with this kind of shape, the vibration is usually buzzy and numbing. But this vibrator rumbles. It penetrates deep into my clitoral network and rumbles me so satisfyingly.

But I didn’t just use the Yummy Sunshine on my clit as I usually do. The Yummy Sunshine begs to be used internally, and so I, as the thorough and determined reviewer I am, decided to put it to the test. To be quite honest, I was excited to try it internally because the shape of the Yummy Sunshine reminded me of the Tantus Tsunami which I was really wanting to try (though it seems to be out of stock for now). So I pushed it inside my vag and…guys it owned. The low and strong pitch of the vibrations rocked my entire internal network, and I felt my G-spot respond. It felt like having the sound from my bass amp inside of me after I’ve plucked an open E. The Yummy Sunshine is deep, resonant and lovely. I was hoping to feel the ridges a little more, but they (predictably) get overshadowed by the vibrations in my vagina and I’m fine not feeling them.

The only thing I might fault the Yummy Sunshine for is daring to think it could be a dual stimulator. That little nub doesn’t really line up with my anatomy, and if I try to make it work like a dual stimulator, I’m left frustrated. But if I leave it as a clit vibrator or a G-spot vibrator? I’m so happy I could squeal.

Overall, this vibrator is definitely one I would recommend. It’s body-safe, strong and surprisingly affordable! If you find yourself looking for a new internal vibrator, definitely give the Yummy Sunshine a try.

I purchased this product with my own money, and all opinions are my own!

Reviews

Review: The Tantus Neo Butt Plug

I am no anal aficionado. On a regular day, my asshole will tolerate a finger maybe, or perhaps the NJoy Medium, but it mostly prefers to be left alone. However, recently I’ve gotten far more interested in anal play, I am nothing if not an inquisitive slut who wants to push her body to the limit, so I started looking around for butt plugs of a more intermediate size. After splashing about in the shallow end of anal for so long, I started pushing myself to try bigger butt plugs. Of course, I wasn’t sure where to start until I saw the Neo. What it lacked in bells and whistles, it made up for with an appealing design and blessedly manageable dimensions.

The Neo is probably the most straight forward butt plug around. If it were a person, the Neo would be the type of person who goes out to the bar exclusively as the designated driver and gets a seltzer water. They’re not the dynamic party-animal, but they’re solid, reliable, and predictable. And with how batshit the past more-than-a-year has been, predictable is great. The Neo is made out of firm silicone, comes in black and purple and has fairly average measurements. At 1.4 inches thick and 4 inches of insertable length, most size queens with an anal bent would probably pass over the Neo. For a girl like me though, it’s the perfect toy to practice my ass at an intermediate level.

The Neo’s real claim to fame, in my opinion, is it’s shape. The pointed, tapered design is perfect for me to ease my ass open so that I can get used to having something of that size. Some people might take issue with the pointed shape, and I can definitely see that being a problem if you were trying to have PiV with that toy in. However, I can’t say that I really noticed a feeling of being ‘poked’ or jabbed. What I did notice was how damn comfortable that T-shaped base was. It snuggled between my cheeks and let me go about my day with nary a chafe. Bravo Tantus, a perfectly executed base.

As far as sensations go, I can’t say that the Neo changed the way I masturbate or made me cum buckets. But then, I don’t really think that’s what the Neo is for. The Neo feels like a stretch (at least, for someone as inexperienced as myself) but it doesn’t feel overwhelming. I was able to wear this plug for hours at a time without any discomfort, though I did need to reapply lube now and again because of the silicone. When I popped in the Neo and then used a vibrator on my clit, I had absolutely fantastic orgasms. The kind that make me leak girl cum all over my bed sheets and leave impressive wet stains. While I don’t squirt yet, I do wonder if anal play might help me to learn because hot damn that was an intense orgasm.

The Neo is a plug that does exactly what it is designed to do: comfortably and pleasurably fill up a butt. It doesn’t claim to be Aneros or Njoy, but it receives full marks for what it is. For people ready to venture beyond a finger or too but who are quite ready to have themselves a full anal fuckin’, the Neo will be your best friend.

Reviews

Pretty handy! The Hot Octopuss DigIt Review

Let me start this review by making something abundantly clear. I am way more into pin point than broad stimulation, as you can tell by the number of tiny vibrator reviews I have up on my blog. When it comes right down to it, I will pull out my Zumio more often than I will ever pull out my Magic Wand or my Unicorn Vibrator. My clit has been spoiled by the precise stimulation that comes from a strong bullet vibrator and will only reluctantly respond to the broad rumble of a wand. I have yet to meet a bullet I dislike. So, it should come as a surprise then that I have somewhat mixed feelings about the Hot Octopuss DiGit, the new rechargeable bullet vibrator…with a finger holster.

Hot Octopuss became famous off of their vibrators targeted for people with penises. For a while, when I was partnered, I considered asking to review one of those sleeves or cockrings to see how they would fare on my resident stunt cock. I never did get to test those, but I have gotten the chance to test Hot Octopuss’ new venture: bullet vibrators. It seems like everyone is interested in taking a bite at the powerful rechargeable bullet market, with everyone from JeJoue to Blush sending in their contenders. However, not content to simply serve up a classic with the DiGiT, Hot Octopuss decided to up the ante by adding a finger holster and marketing the DigIt as great for couples. When I saw the toy had a finger holster, I wondered if that might ruin the toy. Eager to see how this would turn out, I requested the DiGiT from SheVibe.

HOT OCTOPUSS_PRODUCT PHOTO — Say what you like, the DiGiT does look the part!

The DiGiT came in a cute, shiny package with a British flag embossed on it which I found charming. My dad, when he cleaned out my car though, rolled his eyes as he found his daughter’s vibrator. Since I’m not yet out to my parents, I was wildly embarrassed at them finding an instrument of sin in my car. Luckily, the DiGiT is apparently so small and non-threatening that my dad just rolled his eyes and didn’t give it a backwards glance the way he might’ve given a huge dildo like the Uberron or the Changeling (reviews coming soon!)

The DiGiTis small, coated in smooth silicone and charges via a little stabbing pin which would worry me except that it reminds me too much of plugging in my earbuds. It has 5 different speeds, of which the top three are the best in my opinion. The first two are rumbly yes, but so weak as to not even register for a warm up. But the final three setting are where the party is at. Maybe the silicone dampens the vibrations or maybe the people at Hot Octopuss just really know what they’re about but these vibrations are YUMMY. They’re rumbly and penetrating, and when I take the DiGiT off my clit, I can actually feel my whole internal network pulsing for a few moments after I take it off. Delicious. Oh and there are patterns? But I don’t really care about those, I’m just going to set the DiGiT to a consistent high rumble and get straight to an orgasm.

Of course, now we have to come to the awkward part of the DiGiT review where I have to shuffle my feet, sigh, and admit that this vibrator is not perfect. I feel like a teenager justifying my choice in music when I say that the DiGiT works for me but not everyone will ‘get it’. The finger holster is non-removable sadly, and while it’s decently flexible and it fit my delicate lady sized hands, I can definitely see this being a problem for folks with larger hands. Also, for right handed people, the controls are set up beautifully! I found it extremely easy to use, though if I’m honest, I’m not sure if it was all that much better than holding it statically. For a left handed user though, the controls become more awkward, and switching settings and turning off the vibrator are much more clumsy.

This specificity with regards to handedness and hand-size is what gives me pause in recommending this vibrator to everyone. If you’re someone who is right handed, has small hands and hates holding toys? Then this is the one for you, hands down (oh haha, let me have my jokes). But if you’re not all of these, then you might be better served by toys from Blush, JeJoue or even Hot Octopuss’ other offering, the Amo (which my friend Cy reviews here!) which are uncomplicated and frill-less. This is not to say that the Hot Octopuss DiGiT is a bad toy, but it’s just not going to be everyone’s favorite flavor. Ah well, back to masturbating right handed.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks SheVibe!

Reviews

The Butters Original Lube Review

Is lube a sex toy? That’s an interesting question if you think about it. While it doesn’t exactly fit the traditional conception of a sex toy, it’s undeniably essential when it comes to sex. And what’s more, getting the wrong kind of lube can make good sex bad and bad sex into a genital burning nightmare. So you have to make sure you’re getting something that a) does lubricate everything that needs to be lubricated b) has a formula that won’t hurt you and c) won’t disrupt any toys or barriers you need for sex and masturbation. With these considerations taken, you’ll be able to find lubes that fit your needs and can make sex and masturbation go much more smoothly.

But I’m not 100% satisfied with a lube that just makes things go a little smoother. Picky hedonist that I am, I tend to want a lube that can actually add another layer of pleasure. It’s one thing for a lubricant to make something slippery enough that I can get it into my ass, it’s another thing entirely for a lube to make me feel sensual and pampered while I stretch my ass out.

Enter The Butters, an oil based lube made by the Butters Hygienics Co. The Butters is a silky, sensual and pH balanced lube that made my sex and masturbation life better. I’ve actually had a partner tempted to eat the lube because the lube is appetizing all by itself, which is something I’ve never heard of happening with lubes not marketed as flavored (and lets be honest, even most flavored lubes aren’t something you want by themselves).

When I first encountered the Butters, I primarily used it for anal play since I was nervous about how it might affect my vaginal flora. And when used for slicking up the nJoy Pure Plug, it was just fucking amazing. Because of the oil based nature of the lube, I didn’t have to worry about the lube sliding off the toy before I could get into in my ass. With the Butters smeared over the slick, shiny butt plug, my ass felt incredibly spoiled. I’ve tried other, water based lubes for anal masturbation but the Butters topped out when it came to comfort and ease of use.

After playing around with the lube for a little while though, I gradually started introducing into more areas of my sex life. I used it to make PiV sex WAY easier and more comfortable, as well as handjobs and as an aid to oral sex. A slight digression, the Butters is apparently formulated by former chefs, and it fucking shows. This lube is a massive step up from chemically tasting lubes. Thank GOD.

The texture of the Butters was initially slightly grainy when scooped from the jar, but when it heated to body temperature, it felt so silky and soft. I found it pretty arousing to apply the Butters to a partner and then watch the lube liquefy under the heat of how turned on they were. This tiny little detail has a pretty big impact on how I feel getting ready to have sex.

Not only is the texture and ease of use amazing, the Butters also lasts for far longer than any water based lube I own. For reference, when I give a handjob with Good Clean Love, I usually need to re up on lube every few minutes to make sure my hands are still gliding smoothly along my partner’s cock.

With the Butters? I would maybe, MAYBE reapply once. Fucking nice. And while this lube is great for more than just jerking off a cock, it’s where the difference between water and oil based lubes is most starkly apparent.

Now, while I adore the Butters, I would be remiss if I were not to address the two things that might make this lube not for everyone. The first is pure mechanics: if you’re planning on using this for penetrative sex with a partner, you can’t use this lube with a latex condom since it will cause this material to degrade. If you’re not fluid-bonded and you don’t have an alternative method of birth control? Then the Butters would shine for oral and manual sex, while a water based lube would be your best bet for penetration.

The only other caveat for this lube is that it comes in a jar rather than a pump. This seems initially like not a big deal, but every time you dip in your hand to get lube, you’re depositing whatever is on your hands into the lube. If you wash your hands (and hey, you should be with the virus going around) then you won’t have any issues, but it’s something you might want to keep in mind.

In all, I really can’t get enough of the Butters. I actually might need to write a second post for all the OTHER uses of the Butters outside of purely lubrication purposes because hey it can also be: a makeup remover, a moisturizer and (according to GirlyJuice) a leather conditioner. I guess then, the Butters isn’t a sex toy, or if it is, it isn’t just a sex toy. The Butters is a Swiss Army Knife of sensual pleasure disguised as a jar of lube. And you should absolutely get it.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks The Butters Hygienics Co!

Reviews

Kip Rechargeable Vibrator Review

Rechargeable bullet vibrators are all the rage nowadays. Every big name maker is looking to challenge the Tango, which is good news for everyone because there absolutely need to be better ones out there. Je Joue made their line, Blush Novelties has their own, but today we’re talking about what Dame has done. They’ve thrown their hat into the ring with their Kip, and I’m here to tell you exactly how it measures up.

The Kip is different from other bullet vibrators in terms of shape and color. Rather than simply an angled tip, it features a beak like pointed tip and a slightly concave surface on the top. It also, to my surprise and delight, comes in a bright sunny yellow which was what motivated me to ask SheVibe to send it my way for review. Any sex toy that comes in a fun not-pink color is something I need to try. The Kip is also covered in a smooth and silky silicone, similar to the Je Joue bullet. The silicone is really quite nice, and I find myself just enjoying the feel of it in my hand when I’m using it.

KIP_PRODUCT PHOTO — The Kip posed adorably on a painted background.

The battery life of the Kip is also pretty impressive. I’ve used it on and off for a month now and I haven’t needed to charge it and I didn’t notice any appreciable loss in power. If I did want to charge it, I’d hook it up to the slick magnetic contacts and then just leave it be for an hour or so before wandering back to hold it against my clit again. The buttons are also wonderful, and I’d like to personally thank the person who designed the Kip to be so easy to use and adjust without even looking. It’s much more modern than the one button interface that a lot of bullets used in the past and it makes me smile at how much thought Dame put into the Kip. Maybe they contacted all the picky reviewers and finally heard our prayer for better controls.

When in use, the Kip has five intensities which I like, and five patterns that I care nothing for. I appreciate that Dame gave me more than three settings to choose from, it seems like they’ve gotten the message that consumers are starting to expect more from sex toys. The first two speeds of the vibrator are gentle, so gentle that I felt like they were more for teasing than for actually making me orgasm. As such, I typically skip right to the third speed and crank it up to the highest when I’m about to orgasm. This, when paired with a decent dildo makes for a comfy masturbation experience. The Kip’s style of vibration is gently rumbly, and there’s not even a whisper of buzz on even the highest setting. The strength is sufficient and it gets me off easily. The Kip is like coming home to your partner who’s already ordered you your favorite delivery, poured you a glass of wine and put on your favorite Netflix binge. The Kip is perfectly simple, sweet and well executed.

Where I might fault the Kip is on it’s price. It’s $85, which isn’t bad compared to a lot of other rechargeable vibrators. But unfortunately, the Kip is more expensive than both the Tango and the Je Joue Classic bullet, both of which I would rank as slightly more powerful and less expensive. I can forgive the price when I think about how well designed this toy is, but if power and price are all that matter to you, then I’d recommend the Je Joue Classic Bullet.

The Kip is a polished and well thought out toy. It’s controls make sense, it’s pleasurable without being overwhelming and it has an adorable aesthetic. If these are the things that matter to you, then go ahead and get the Kip from SheVibe. If you’re looking for something easier on the wallet, I suggest you check out these more budget friendly vibrators.

This toy was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks SheVibe!

Reviews

Trials and Teratophilia : The StrangeBedFellas Tyv Review

I have been dragging my feet when it comes to writing this review. Bless their heart, Meesh of StrangeBedFellas have been so patient with me while I fussed with this toy. It’s taken months and they’ve been so gracious. So, at long last, I have finally decided my testing has to come to an end. It is time to render judgement on the StrangeBedFellas Tyv.

The Tyv is a dildo I love to look at. The design looks like it belongs on a hot monster hunk, and as a fellow teratophile, I would find myself drooling over it all the time. So, when StrangeBedFellas agreed to send me their Tyv in a Large, I was already looking for monsterboy pornography to pair my new beauty with. When it arrived, I was hopeful that this would be a match made in heaven.

But, my eyes were bigger than my vagina it seems. I spent weeks to no avail trying to get the Tyv inside me. For some reason, the shape of the Tyv resisted me, even in that deliciously soft and squishy density that I had asked for. To help you understand the frustration I felt trying to get the Tyv in, find a stress ball. Hold it in your hand. Now imagine trying to insert that spherical orb into one of your orifices. Trying to get the Tyv inside was like to thread a needle with a bratwurst, only the needle, the wurst and your hands are covered in lube.

LARGE_Tyv_REVIEW_PIC — The Large Tyv, and the first model I was sent to review featuring a beautiful Hellhound inspired coloration.

On the few rare occasions that I achieved penetration with the Tyv, my insides…felt claustrophobic. Not only did the Tyv fill up every square inch and then some, the texture of the plating on the underside of the toy scratched at me uncomfortably. And when I tried to push the dildo in further to achieve the knot? It felt like it was going to tear my perineum! Upset with myself, I put the dildo down and worried about what I could do. I feared being unable to adequately test a dildo and thus render judgement.

Then, I had an idea. Going back to the StrangeBedFella’s etsy store, I picked out a smaller Tyv, in the Medium size to be precise. After carefully going over the dimensions again and comparing it to previous large dildos I’ve owned, I ordered it and awaited for my new, more manageably sized friend to arrive.

Though it seemed impossible, my new Tyv was even prettier than the one originally sent to me for review! The opalescent color is probably THE PRETTIEST coloration of silicone I’ve ever seen. It’s like a magical girl cock and I gotta say, it’s one of my favorites in terms of sheer aesthetic appeal. With renewed excitement, I grabbed the lube, a clit vibe and headed to the testing room with my new prize.

MEDIUM_TYV_REVIEW_PHOTO — My preferred Tyv in a STUNNING OPAL. Ahh Tyv. Maybe someday.

This time, I could more consistently get the Tyv inside me, which was already a huge improvement! My vagina no longer felt claustrophobic and I could get a better sense of how the design worked with my body. It’s just that…I didn’t enjoy the design. I hate to write anything negative at all about the Tyv, since the people behind the toy are so wonderful AND the toy itself is so gorgeous. But in either size, the Tyv ended up at best being mildly uncomfortable. The plate design elements felt too scrapey to me, like the vaginal equivalent of the chafing you get from wearing shoes that you haven’t broken in yet. It’s manageable, and yet, I can’t help but wish the toy were more comfortable. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t break in the Tyv.

With regards to the knot, it was more manageable, but I didn’t get the gloriously full feeling I’d been craving. It didn’t hurt, but it was somewhat uncomfortable to me. I felt like someone had shoved a cork in my vag. And when I pulled it out, I felt like a clogged drain being unplugged. Also, I’m not sure what’s up with my G-spot, but it didn’t agree with the shape of the Tyv. Maybe it’s due to the fact that the toy has a (relatively) small head and I enjoy broad stimulation over pinpoint when it comes to internal stimulation. That lack of G-spot stimulation might also be due to the squishy density, since a firmer Tyv might have a firmer curve, which would be better suited to G-spot stimulation. In all, while the Medium didn’t threaten to cleave my vag apart, it didn’t wow me I’m sorry to say.

The Tyv is a dildo that specifically doesn’t work with my body. It’s beautiful, and I know other reviewers who love it, so I believe that this is an issue that has to do with my anatomy RATHER than a poorly made toy. If you’re curious about the Tyv, I would absolutely recommend trying the small version of the Tyv and seeing if you enjoy that. If you do, it’s much easier to go up to a bigger size and to swap your smaller model. Even though this dildo didn’t work for me, I would still highly recommend StrangeBedFellas over all. Even though the Tyv didn’t work for me, the care they put into the dildo makes me excited to try more of their designs, especially the Fornax, which is a more tapered, but still knotted design that I think my vag would like better.

Not only is StrangeBedFellas making the world a better place by making beautiful dildos, but the people behind the toys are good people. Meesh has been patient and understanding, and the effort and care they put into making these silicone sweeties really shows through. Now, back to flipping through the StrangeBedfellas catalogue like Tindr for monsterfuckers.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks StrangeBedFellas!

Reviews

Double Dong Dare Ya! Uberrime Bella Dildo Review

Welcome to the year 2020. It feels so futuristic right? Maybe it’s the DnD nerd within me getting excited since two 20s means a spectacular confirmed critical hit, but I feel like this year is going to be something special. To kick off the year, I’ve also decided to push myself to make my first review spectacular. I would go through great trials and tests to bring you my first review of 2020, a review of a dildo that comes in both dual and, amazingly, triple density.

Uberrime is no stranger to these holes. I admit I’ve got a genuine soft spot for the company. Not only does Uberrime churn out extremely orgasmic designs, they also use more glitter than a Louisiana drag queen during Mardi Gras. I mean that extremely affectionately, as I am a slut for fun colors and glitter. Art hoe that I am, I’d still use all the Uberrime dildos if they were barfy pink, but I love that I don’t have to. It just feels better conceptually to pound myself with something blue and sparkly.

Thus, with this prefaced, you can understand why I let out a scream of delight when I saw that I was getting to review the Bella, Uberrime’s new dual density dildo. Well, I thought I was just reviewing the dual density, but Marco, the man behind the myth, surprised me. Not only am I reviewing the Bella in it’s dual density flavor, I’ve also got the privilege of reviewing the first triple density toy I’ve ever tried.

The Bella is a fairly basic looking dildo at a glance. It’s a little larger than the average, clocking in at 7+ inches in insertable length and almost 2 inches in diameter at the widest spot. But really, compared to the bizarre fantasy dildos I’ve seen, the Bella wouldn’t be all that impressive if I went by the shape alone. The prices however, would suggest something special, with the dual density clocking in at $99 and the triple density clocking in at $150. These are pricey toys, so if you’re short on cash but still craving something to fill your holes, try the cheaper Elements line from Uberrime to see what you like.

The Bella fares very well in a harness, the large base of the toy makes it very stable when slipped through an O ring. I wore it for hours, prancing around in my Talisman Leather harness as though I had a unicorn horn strapped to my crotch. I even mastered the performance art of the helicopter, and I delight in spinning my cock like a sexy hurricane.

In it’s dual density flavor, the Bella is very much like an erection. It has a nice layer of squish to it, but the firm inner core makes every thrust dramatic and intensely felt. That does mean that if you’re built a little smaller like myself though, and you try to just ram this rocket home, you’re probably going to cuss at this toy. Please don’t, the Bella is a dildo and it can’t understand you.

But, if you give yourself time to warm up and allow your hole to relax, the Bella fills you up oh so comfortably. The Bella isn’t really a G-spot homing device given it’s straight-as-an-arrow shape, but the size of it put’s enough pressure on my vaginal walls that I’m still pretty satisfied. I even got a little bit of cervix stimulation from time to time, which was a first for me. While I don’t know how this toy would work for A-spot stimulation (I’m not sure where mine is) I think that the Bella would be a good toy for exploring deeper stimulation spots.

This brings me to the triple density Bella and oh, how to even begin. The triple density has a soft layer of silicone on top, a gooey, melty secondary layer and a firm inner core. The triple density Bella is pinchable, unlike any other toy in my collection. The soft upper layers of the Bella slide around on the top, making it more skin-like than I’ve ever felt with a sex toy of any stripe. Once, I warmed the dildo in a bowl of water and then masturbated with it. Pair that warm, realistic dildo with an erotic romance novel and you’ll really feel like you’re getting plowed by the hunk in the pages. The softness does have a slight drawback though: it dulls the lovely skin-like texturing of the toy. I don’t doubt that some people will find this very irritating, and if you need texture to get off, I don’t recommend the triple density.

Who would I recommend this dildo to? Well, I have two groups in mind for this particular prick. The first group would be aspiring size queens, as it combines size with pretty reasonable comfort. The second group would be strap on tops who are looking to please an experienced strap on bottom. This dildo is luxurious and IT WILL spoil your strap-on bottom, provided they can handle the size.

As to where you can buy this dildo, you can buy it directly from Uberrime or SheVibe, depending on your fancy. Both are excellent places, and I’ll happily stand by that statement. If you’ve got the dough and a hankering for pinchably soft silicone cock, you should ABSOLUTELY go get a Bella for yourself.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks Uberrime!

Reviews

XenoCat Artifacts Barghest Review

A while back (in terms of Twitter), I wanted to try reviewing toys with knots. I’d seen them a lot on social media and lusted over them on Etsy. And so when XenoCat offered me the chance to try their take on a canine cock, well, you could say I was fit to be tied. Lame puns aside, I was ecstatic to try the Barghest, having tried the Monarch and just adored that ripply texture. It’s actually one of the go-to dildos I suggest for people interested in trying out fantasy toys because of its friendly design. But back to the point, as soon as this pretty pastel penis hit my doorstep, I fucked myself with it. And then…I took forever to review it. Both the Barghest and the dongmongers behind it deserve better, so I’m going attempt to rectify my long silence here in this review by telling you just HOW GOOD this supernatural schlong is.

The first thing to assure yourself of is that the Medium Barghest is not HUGE. To be specific, it’s about 5.75″ long and maybe 2″ thick at the widest part of the knot. It’s certainly packing a bit more in dimensions than say, the Deelit, but the Barghest is not exactly built to terrify. In fact, when I picture what this dildo might be attached to, I picture a gentle werewolf lover, welcoming me into her protective arms and filling me up just right with her canid cock. I admit, I’ve always had a weakness for strong werewolves and this was just the dildo for my fantasies.

At the start of my masturbation session with the Barghest, I only used the top of the shaft. And it was perfectly seductive. It slipped in and out of my cunt with silken ease and was curved just enough to graze my G-spot in a tantalizing manner. The knot was still outside of me, teasing my entrance and I shivered to think what it might feel like. In my fantasies, my lady werewolf lover teases me with the knot, asking me if I’m ready to take it. As my vag gradually warms up and becomes more relaxed, I find myself getting excited at the prospect of getting that drool-worthy knot in me.

When I found myself close to climaxing, I stuffed myself with the Barghest’s knot and boy howdy. I may not love every knotted cock out there, but I’ve fallen ass over teakettle for the Barghest. The knot feels like it occupies every square inch of my vagina; it stimulates my vagina just by being so filling that it can’t NOT hit my G-spot. Between the golden sensation of fullness and the G-spot satisfaction, the Barghest made me one happy customer.

Clearly, the people at XenoCat know their trade very well. Not only are the dildos they’ve crafted beautiful, but they’re pleasurable as all get out too. I can’t thank them enough for their patience and their brilliant design work. As for who should consider the Barghest as their newest playmate? This toy is great for intermediate players and for those looking to try a knot without wanting to struggle too much. So if you’re someone who’s felt the call of fantasy dildos, I highly recommend the Barghest.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks XenoCat Artifacts!

Reviews

Strange BedFellas Deelit Review

The internet seems to have stereotype when it comes to fantasy toys. Or a few stereotypes anyway. The first being that all fantasy toys have to be both ridiculously long and orifice-bustingly thick to be worth the money. The second is that only furries could possibly want a toy that dares to be something more than the standard human model or an abstract shape for pleasure. The Deelit from Strange BedFellas is a diminutive dong with a daring personality. The Deelit says to the world that realm of fantasy cannot and should not be limited to the size queens. The Deelit says to all of us with pansy poopers and wussy pussies that we’re welcome into the fantasy fold.

71922400_526999367843694_3103197249560117248_n — The BEAUTIFUL Deelit

The Deelit’s design looks like the product of the marriage of an ice cream cone and alien. And boy is this result ever handsome, with a swirling design and beautiful, icy coloration that put a twinkle in any monsterfucker’s eye. At 4.75″ in length and just 1.6″ in girth at the thickest, the Deelit doesn’t break any records for size. However, that size also means that it’s perfect for users with vaginismus, as well as users who are anal beginners. However, since I’m all vagina all the time, and the design so beautiful, it was only moments until I stuffed into my vagina.

I melted at the first thrust of the Deelit, savoring the gentle rippling texture as I pushed it to the hilt inside of me. Once the insertion was over, I immediately started the removal, wanting to feel those GLORIOUS ripples again. When moving, the Deelit is a gentle but noticeable partner. For the first half of my masturbation session, I can fuck myself silly with the Deelit in my vag and the Zumio on my clit.

Inevitably though, once my vagina opens up I started craving more sensation. And if the Deelit was stationary? No dice. Inevitably, I swapped the Deelit out for a larger toy, but I can’t deny that it made my warmup and first orgasms phenomenal.

If I were to class this dildo, I would definitely say it was a dildo for fantasy lovers with vaginismus or otherwise unused to penetration. For people looking for a rougher ride, Id look to another friend from Strange BedFellas, though I truly believe that this is a worthy addition to any toybox!

This toy was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks Strange BedFellas!