Silicone Siren Song: The Mermaid Dildo Review

In spite of owning several dildos, I have yet to review any on my site…until now. And so I am proud to announce that my first dildo review is the stunningly crafted Mermaid dildo, provided to me by Lust Arts. Lust Arts is a new sex toy company founded by two women who have dedicated themselves to making incredible fantasy inspired dildos. They’ve really impressed me with toys like the Lust Burster, a Xenomorph inspired dildo that warmed my horror-loving heart, their gorgeous take on a unicorn horn, as well as the Mermaid dildo which I am reviewing today. And after having received the Mermaid in my home and in my vagina, I’ve learned to love it. It is intense, and abrasive at times, but it provides sensations of texture and fullness no other dildo in my toybox provides.

Dildo photography
The freshly washed Mermaid looking magical with my electric candles.

The Mermaid dildo is absolutely gorgeous to look at, there’s no denying that. The artisans at Lust Arts imbued this dildo with a stunning amount of detail, making the Mermaid look like an enticing siren with her wild hair and curled mermaid tail. The color I asked for was Deepest Wave, a gorgeous pale-green over deep black that looks exactly like a sunken copper statue. This is one of the signature colors of the toy, though the Mermaid dildo does come in a range of colors. Lust Arts sent me the toy in a glorious dual-density of Extra Soft 0030 shore-hardness outside, and Soft 0050 shore-hardness inside, making it the most pleasantly squishy toy I own. It’s softer and more flexible than both the Real Nude Rollo dildo and the Truskyn Curve from Doc Johnson.

While the Mermaid comes in a range of sizes, I asked to review the Moaner size, which seemed fairly un-intimidating. At a little over 5 1/2 inches insertable and with the widest diameter on the toy being 2.07 inches, I thought it could even qualify as a warm-up toy. But with the amount of texture this toy rocks, I would suggest warming up by getting either very turned on first or by using a smaller toy to warm up, especially if you’re new to texture like I was.

I had to have a few sessions with this dildo a few times to truly understand it. The first time I used the Mermaid, I didn’t take the time to get properly aroused, which made using the toy a little awkward. I only inserted it a few inches before feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. After having paused to lube up properly and become more aroused, I took another shot at inserting the dildo, which met with mixed success. Because I had stopped at the ‘hips’ of the toy, that left a lot of the texture just in my vaginal opening. That amount of texture just in my vaginal opening caused a scratchy, scraping feeling which drowned out the more pleasurable sensations inside. Once I fully inserted the toy however, the discomfort fizzled, replaced by a GLORIOUS stretching feeling at the entrance to my vagina. The fullness at my vaginal opening and all of that texture was AMAZING once inside me.

Through continued use of the toy, I discovered my favorite way to use the Mermaid. I paired the dildo with a clitoral vibrator and stuffed myself full with the Mermaid, jiggling it and twisting it to get the delicious massaging sensation and stretching fullness that the size queen in me craves. The texture is absolutely delightful to my vaginal walls! It felt like being massaged and teased with tiny fingers in a way. With how soft the Mermaid is, the textured parts don’t feel abrasive, provided I fully insert the toy. In trying I also found that I enjoyed the Mermaid externally, as the highly textured head of the toy felt fantastic to rub against my clit and inner labia, which I often did as part of my warm-up.

Cleaning and storing the dildo is fairly easy actually. Because you can submerge the toy, it’s fairly easy to soak off bodily fluids and get your toy nice and clean after a session. When I received it, I worried that the toy would hold onto my juices and be a nightmare to get clean because of all the nooks, crannies and crevices. But having tested this after a few sessions, I found that it was fairly easy to soak it in the sink and then wipe off with a paper towel. The softer density does cause the toy to attract dust and hair, necessitating a wash beforehand if not kept in something like a plastic bag. It’s no surprise that silicone this soft and squishy attracts lint! The bag Lust Arts sends you should be more than enough to keep your toy clean between washes though. For sanitizing, you can either boil this dildo or use a 10% bleach solution and wipe it down.

So what would I say about this silicone siren? I would recommend the Mermaid to users who know they like intensity and texture, as even the very soft Mermaid provides a great deal to experience. For people just starting to explore texture, getting a smaller, softer version of the Mermaid would likely be the best option to decide whether or not you’re into the amount of texture the Mermaid rocks. Me personally? I love my Mermaid, and plan on using it when my insides need a good massaging and stretching.

This toy was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Lust Arts! 

 

 

Cryptokink: Oviposition

Welcome to the start of a new feature on this blog: Cryptokink. This series is going to feature the unusual and fascinating kinks that I’ve learned about in my time browsing the net. I’m not going to claim to be an expert or representative of these kinks, this is more of a fun, entry-level exploration into something a little off the beaten path. With this in mind, this installment of Cryptokink is going to feature Oviposition, a kink which takes natural phenomenon and fantasy trappings and blends them into something new and exciting.

For those unfamiliar, I’ll provide a quick and dirty description of oviposition. Oviposition can roughly be described as: the act of one participant laying eggs in either the anus or vagina of another participant. The laying. The penetrative party uses a phallic organ called an ‘ovipositor’ to lay these eggs into the recipient. Eggs can be of nearly any description or size. Some oviposition scenes feature a host be filled to the brim with chicken sized eggs or with much smaller ones. These eggs can also vary in shape, color, texture along with other features.

A quick science refresher: oviposition does in fact happen in nature! One prominent example is that female seahorses impregnate the male seahorses using their ovipositor. A further example is that some insects are known to parasitically lay eggs in other hosts. So while oviposition doesn’t happen exactly the way it does in the erotica, there is still natural precedent for the phenomenon.

After interviewing a few users on Tumblr, I began to get a sense of why people are attracted to this particular fetish. It has crossover appeal with teratophilia, a kink I’ll be writing about later, along with such things like non-con or dub-con and a stuffing and pregnancy kinks. Apart from the egg pregnancy, oviposition also places great emphasis on the pregnant party ‘laying’ these eggs, often featuring the host in pleasure as they lay their non-human young. This orgasmic ‘laying’ also provided a strong appeal to users, in addition to the pleasure of being stuffed. Oviposition comes in a wide variety tones, ranging from something very tame to something more wet and wild. Having done a little research, I could find erotica with sweet and tender egg-laying, akin to love-making alongside the more aggressive and less considerate versions. This tracks with most kinks, as BDSM and other kinks also range from sweet and tender to something more rough and aggressive.

In researching this unusual kink, I have discovered that there does exist a line of sex toys, for the fetish. However, there was one I wanted to feature specifically within this piece: a dildo named The Splorch. The Splorch is a silicone dildo from Primal Hardwere, which allows the user to squeeze eggs into their orifice of choice. The dildo does not come with the eggs, so eggs must be acquired separately. To facilitate this, Primal Hardwere also supplies gelatin egg molds and step-by-step instructions on how to prepare the aforementioned eggs.  Primal Hardwere also makes no claim as to whether or not the toy is anal-safe, but does mention that gelatin eggs should dissolve with body heat. As for the toy itself, the base appears nice and wide and shouldn’t get lost in the anus, so I believe that dildo itself is extremely safe.

Given as I’ve never heard of gelatin being used in an erotic manner and had questions with regards to the safety of the toy both anally and vaginally, I reached out to the owner, Lone Wolf. Happily, the owner responded promptly and explained that while

ovipositorsneak
The Splorch posed with gelatin eggs.

they could not definitively say that the toy was anal-safe, that they had used the toy and gelatin eggs anally for years without issue. Vaginally speaking, LoneWolf was unable to say for certain if anyone would have a reaction to the gelatin in the eggs. However, Lone Wolf was able to say that customers reported they were able to take the eggs with no ill-effects. With this in mind, I would cautiously give my approval to the gelatin eggs, though I might more enthusiastically recommend silicone eggs for vaginal use, as those will be safe for the body without a doubt. (EDIT: LoneWolf does not recommend silicone eggs as they tend squeegee off the lube and may not be compatible with the toys. I would take this into account with your sensitivities and make your choice based on that.)

If you’re still curious about oviposition after this piece, it’s fairly easy to find more media relating to it. The oviposition tag on tumblr will yield a glut of results, which will require you to turn off safe-search, as will a cursory search on Ao3 or other sites where erotica is permitted. And if you decide you’re much a fan and have the dough, the toys of your dreams await you at Primal Hardwere. Just be sure to always play safely!

Thank you to LoneWolf and Tumblr users tsundere-kawaii-shark and catscreatinganarchy for helping make this post possible!

Visions of the Future

AKA here’s what’s in the pipeline for my upcoming pieces:

  • Reviews of the Stockroom products I received! I received a collar, an adjustable eye mask and a paddle to review from Stockroom and I’m very excited. Preliminary testing indicates that I love the mask the most, but we’ll see!
  • A new series of posts exploring different kinks and fetishes I’ve encountered on my career on the internet. It’ll include some really interesting stuff including: Oviposition, Teratophilia, Vore and much more.
  • Reviewing for Lust Arts! Lust Arts was one of the first to contact me when I got extremely excited for their new product The Mermaid. It’s a beautiful, extremely textured silicone dildo and I’m extremely excited to receive it!
  • Possibly launching a podcast about all of this? Who knows.
  • Warming Up Part Two: Some typical acts that can warm you up and what it is I do to get warmed up for penetration!

I’m very excited to write these and more!