A Beginner’s Attempt at Trying an Enema

Anyone who’s interested in anal sex has heard about enemas. Most anal sex guides will tell you that you’re pretty much fine if you have a bowel movement 30 minutes to an hour before hand that you’ll be fine, but that the more nervous crowd might find comfort in an enema. However, in most of these anal sex guides, there aren’t descriptions of how to do an enema or a description of what the recipient might feel. And I, an intrepid soul, saw that niche and decided to fill it. I would catalog my first enema and display it to you, my adoring readers.

Anyway, this is for everyone out there in the anal amateur leagues who are curious what it feels like to clean themselves out.

Over the holiday break I received an email from a company called Aussie Healthco. This is a company I mentioned in my Christmas Wishlist because I saw an enema kit there that looked like it was worth trying. In this fateful email, they offered to send me a sample kit that included both their enema bag and bulb kit for my honest review. Being the kind of person I am (impulsive and excitable) I leapt at the chance. A few more emails and a few days later, I received the Premium Purity Non-Toxic Transparent Silicone Enema Bag Kit and the Clear and Cleanable 7oz Enema Bulb Anal Douche Kit. These names are SUPER LONG so I’m just gonna refer to them as the enema and the bulb.

aussie health co product photo
The enema bag in question. Fancy eh?

The bulb isn’t really anything special apart from the stainless steel tip. Now this I like quite a bit as sterilizable material is always good when you’re doing something internal, and especially when it’s anal. However, it generally feels like another anal bulb I tried a while ago. Lying on my back, I gently inserted the tip, squeezed the bulb and was rewarded with a whoosh of water in my ass. The sensation was fine, nothing notable either pleasure or pain-wise. I wish the bulb were also silicone so that I could dump the whole thing in a pot and boil it but that’s the case for many enema bulbs on the market. In short? This is like many others, but the clear aspect is kind of neat so it’s worth doing. Also, the ad copy on the website is a little interesting. The website uses the term ‘opaquely clear’ which is…not how we use the language. It’s clear what the website intended to convey, which is the translucency of the material, but it is an odd way to do it. Might I gently suggest a copy editor?

The real highlight of the afternoon was the enema bag. OH BOY. I struggled with this thing like NOBODY’S BUSINESS. First there was sanitizing it in boiling water, and struggling to clean the tubing and then slowly learning how to put the thing together. It took the better part of an hour to do this. Suffice to say? Read the instruction manual. It is invaluable.

It took several tries to get the enema bag to co-operate with me. First of all, filling the enema bag was a little tricky. It might be easier with a bucket, but as all I had was a sink, I made do. I held open the silicone bag, filled it with water and…then all the water came squirting out the other end, spraying wildly. Cussing viciously, I threw the spraying end in the bath tub. After adjusting the clamp, who’s design I dislike, I finally managed to lube the tip and get it into my ass. Then, releasing the clamp I felt water flood my guts nigh instantly. I lay on my back, knees on my chest and panting like I was running a marathon because that water was filling me way too fast and my belly starting feeling cold and cramped. The desire to empty myself was close to INSTANT. In my opinion? The clamp ought to be easier to adjust. It operates via slotting in the edge to the grooves and using that to hold pressure against the tubing. HOWEVER. It isn’t adjustable to slowly decrease pressure. You can slowly increase it for sure, but sliding it back a setting is pretty damned impossible. Queue a long and difficult time in the bathroom. Also, lukewarm water might’ve helped, as I now realize cold water contributed to the discomfort.

Voiding myself felt very odd. It was all the sensation of having food poisoning without any of the typical nausea. My body still has memories of a bad brisket that I ate so PERHAPS there was some residual trepidation on my part there but otherwise it was fairly inoffensive. The only problems happened with the enema kit was with being unable to fill and control the water flow. That led to much unnecessary spraying of water all around my bathroom. And made me feel filthy. First time enema users, prepare to rinse off after. You might be like me and need a good rinse after using an enema.

In all, it seems like the enema will be a thing of practice. I’m willing to give another shot in a few weeks so that my gut flora will recover, but for now? Chalk this up as another wet and wild Liz misadventure.


Elements 1, 2 and 3 Review

Florida is a complicated place. On the one hand, it has beautiful beaches, warm weather, and Disney Land. And on the other hand it’s a giant dick-shaped swamp, prone to hurricanes, and with mosquitoes as big as your thumb trying to drain you like you’re a human Capri Sun. But in this controversial state, there exists a company creatively making the world of sex toys a better and more colorful place. Enter Uberrime, a new sex toy company that makes designs that are both daring and beautiful, such as the much lauded Night King and his more realistic Gentlemen series. I admired Uberrime’s toys for a long time, crying out joyfully every time a new pour was announced on the company Twitter and sighing fancifully at the new designs which appeared in the shop. So I was absolutely delighted one day when Marco, the man behind the magic at Uberrime, asked me if I would review his new line of toys, The Elements. I couldn’t say yes fast enough. And let me tell you, I am very glad I welcomed this gorgeously marbled silicone into my life. They’ve made masturbation so much better in a multitude of ways.

From left to right: Element 1, Element 2 and Element 3 in stunning two color marbling.

The Elements are Uberrime’s answer to the call for smaller, more economical silicone dildos. The toys Uberrime is known for making tend to run large, delighting the size royalty among us but which is somewhat unattainable for those among us who prefer something a little more modest. And so, the Elements were born to the RIOTOUS joy of the sex toy and blogger community. All of them are $29 in the single color option, designed with every body’s pleasure in mind. Poured at shore hardness 10, these toys fall into the slightly squishy but still decently firm category, a good density that makes itself known but doesn’t jab your insides. With simple yet anatomy focused designs, Uberrime makes dildos with every body in mind. Hooray for dildos for all of us!

But enough of the fanfare and starry eyed declarations: you want to know how they really feel.

The Element 1 in yellow and red marbling.

The first up is, naturally, the Element #1, which came to me in a gorgeous red and yellow marbling. The Element #1 is a long and narrow dildo that I was originally unimpressed with. My first impression of it was that it was entirely underwhelming in my vagina and I was very near to writing it off as a wash. But as I continued to use it, I began to understand why the narrowness and length were to be appreciated. This, folks, is one of the most perfect dildos possible for those of us warming up or beginning to explore. It’s been extremely useful when on days when my vagina just isn’t the ALL GIRTH ALL THE TIME size queen I like to think it is. The Element #1 provides a gentle introduction to penetration that I deeply appreciate both in my vaginal and in my anal sessions as it’s narrowness makes for a good easing into. Using the Element #1 anally is an excellent way to warm up more reticent butts after you’ve warmed up with a finger or two and I found I preferred it to get ready for girthier toys. It’s also long enough that I’m considering using it for A-spot exploration. So far no luck, but this dildo is gentle enough that I can use it for exploration as much as I want.

The Element 2 in purple and black marbling

The Element #2 is not as pleasurable as I had hoped, sadly. Dammit Marco, I thought for sure that it would be my favorite. Visually speaking it’s the most delightful to look at with that prominent bulbous head and stunning black and purple marbling. But those ridges are just don’t do anything for my vagina for whatever reason. The popping sensation can occasionally be uncomfortable for me as it goes past my pubic bone. At best, my vagina ignores the sensations of those ridges popping past my pubic bone. At worst, the ridges can cause discomfort at my vaginal opening. The reason for the discomfort is mystifying, as the girth is certainly nothing even close to the maximum girth I can take. Once the Element #2 pops past my pubic bone, it does feel pleasurable inside of me. Those ridges which were so dramatic at my vaginal entrance are so much less aggressive once inside and I can have a pleasant session until removal, upon which the popping sensation occurs again. While I greatly appreciate the aesthetic of the dildo, it hasn’t been my body’s first choice.

The Element 3 in red and pink marbling

My Element #3 is a pretty red and pink dildo that surprised the hell out of me. I hadn’t expected the Element #3 to be particularly laudable, but I find that it outshines its siblings and is far and away my favorite for daily masturbation. The girthier, stouter model gives me a nice amount of silicone for my vagina to squeeze around without any chance for it to bother my cervix. This simple but brilliantly effective design is what makes it a star. The gentle curve and bulbed head provide a nice massage for my insides and is perfect for when I want something that feels good and won’t bother my vagina or cervix on my more sensitive days. Ergo, this is a fantastic toy for when I’m menstruating. The Element #3 is perfect for both quickie masturbation sessions and for warming me up for a more involved session with larger toys. The Element #3’s excellent dimensions and thoughtful design made the testing of larger toys a damn sight easier since I could ease into girth rather than jump head first into it. Fun fact, this toy made testing the Lust Burster from my earlier review far more comfortable. The particular blend and hardness of this silicone make this a fun toy to thrust, and the smoothness of the dildo means it’s best appreciated by swiftly thrusting it in out of myself. In all, my favorite dildo of the bunch.

Like my other reviews of silicone toys, these are very easy to clean. Spritz ’em with bleach, boil ’em or scrub ’em in the sink if you’re not passing them between orifices (never go anal to vaginal without sanitizing). There aren’t any crevices in these designs to worry about, so cleaning should be fairly easy.

In all, I must confess myself a great fan of the Elements. 2 out of 3 I find exceedingly useful and pleasurable, with the #2 still a viable option for those who know they can handle intense ridges. The density, colors, and smart, thoughtful design make these all excellent toys in their own right. They don’t try to pull any stunts, but exist in that delightful simplicity that is both body and wallet friendly. Beginners and advanced masturbators will appreciate these toys as they have something to offer everyone regardless of experience or anatomy. I cannot recommend the Elements more heartily and I look forward to seeing what Uberrime does next.

The Elements were provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks Uberrime, keep on rockin’.

Luxe Be Me 3 Plug Review

I’ve been inducted into an affiliate program with one of my most favorite retailers, Peepshow Toys. Pop the champagne y’all, this is a cause for celebration! I’ve been a fan of Peepshow ever since their Prism 69 sale and I’m jazzed to be working with them. In addition to allowing me to join their affiliate program, Peepshow was gracious enough to send me this plug to review, so I feel extra grateful to them. I was pleasantly surprised to receive all of these in the same box where I purchased my lubes after one bad night where I had a reaction to the GCL’s Almost Naked formula. Eagerly I grabbed my prize, the Luxe Be Me 3 plug and set to work testing and retesting it to ensure I could be thorough in my review. And now I can tell you without a doubt: this toy has not been worth the effort.

The look of the Be Me 3 is very promising. It has a simple, but adorable design featuring beads that graduate in size and has a gentle curve. The texture of the toy is smooth and nearly suede-like in texture, a pleasant matte finish silicone that takes to lube well. My plug came in black, which I appreciate, though it also comes in pink if you prefer something more vibrant. The toy is flexible and the base makes sense, a smaller base would present concerns about retrievability. It’s also fairly inexpensive for those among us who are wallet conscious, as it only costs $14, a sensible price. With a max insertable length of 4.25 inches and a max girth of 1.25 inches, this proves to be a non-intimidating plug that, at least in appearance, would serve as a warm up plug and would be great for training the butt.

The Luxe Be Me 3. Too bad it was a bust.

But in spite of the body safeness and beginner measurements of the Luxe Be Me 3, I can’t get behind it. There’s no use beating around the bush: I don’t like this plug AT ALL. If you take nothing else away from this review, then I want you to know: it’s just too damn difficult to use and doesn’t provide enough reward. This plug is too flexible to get in my ass unless I grip the bead I’m trying to insert and push it in. When I’ve attempted to grip the base to insert it, the Be Me 3 slips off my asshole and attempts to penetrate my vagina instead or jabs me in the perineum. And so, muttering dark oaths and mumbling phrases of frustration, I resign myself to gripping the bead that I want to insert and pushing it into me. The bead is caked in lube to help with insertion, but since the lube is where I need to grip, it inevitably leads to my grip slipping off the bead. This problem was partially solved thanks to the placement of a mirror, making my aim a little better, but difficulties still persisted. Perhaps if I had my partner insert the beads in my ass it’d be more fun, but alone you’re bound to run into some frustration.

When I find that I finally do get the Luxe Be Me 3 in my ass, I’m not rewarded with any mind-blowing sensations for my effort. It hangs out in my ass just fine, but the beads inhabiting me don’t really add anything extra. The base is long and trustable so I’m not worried about losing them, but it’s not a noteworthy sensation. Perhaps because the beads are so light weight and aren’t particularly girthy that I feel so unimpressed by them. It’s pleasant enough to be sure, but after my struggle with them, I’d hoped for something more. Removing them, at least at this point in my anal exploration, isn’t really the orgasmic experience I’d hoped for. Perhaps because my ass clings to every bead for dear life. Perhaps because these beads are just lackluster.

As with all silicone, cleaning the Be Me 3 is a snap. Spritz it with bleach, boil it in water, toss it in the dishwasher on a rinse cycle, all of these are fine for the Be Me 3. If you’re not going to use it vaginally, a simple soap and water cleaning works out just fine. Though if you have mishaps like me and possess a vagina, then bleach is well worth considering to make sure you’re not passing bacteria from your butt to your vagina.

This is a toy that is an exercise in patience, except that the patience won’t be rewarded with anything more than moderate anal pleasure. Someone with a more zen-like disposition is perhaps suited to this toy, or perhaps just someone who is flexible and has access to a mirror to figure out how this toy is going to go in their ass. If you’ve got the whole day for a lazy wank and are very into the idea of training your butt this way, it might be for you. But if you’re looking for something a little more immediately gratifying, I’d turn you to a more conventional plug like the Njoy Pure Plug.

This toy was provided to me in exchange for my honest review. Thanks Peepshow Toys, I love y’all to death.

Visions of The Future 10/13

Currently I’m away visiting my family, so my review work is being put on hold. But I’ve been wanting to update you with what you can expect from my blog the rest of October! There’s going to be some very varied content!

This is a plug I received from the absolutely DARLING Peepshow Toys. It features a beaded design that I have quite a few thoughts about. That’ll be this October.

This is my first dual density dildo that I ever purchased. It’s long, straightish and has the strongest suction cup of all my toys.

I started lusting after an acrylic paddle after Girly Juice raved about hers. While her particular paddle isn’t available anymore, Ethos Leather makes an absolutely GORGEOUS paddle that I purchased for myself and I’m excited to review.

  • Kinktober Erotica

I’ve been keeping up with Kinktober in my journal and I’ve written some pretty raunchy pieces. After running a poll on Twitter, apparently some of you are interested in seeing what gets my motor revved. So expect to see a few of those!

  • A Horror Move Playlist

The product of Lust Arts and yours truly coming up with a quintessential Halloween watching experience! GOTTA LOVE A DILDO MAKER WHO KNOWS THEIR FILMS.

  • Pretty in Pink, Better in Butch

A personal piece dealing with how I experience femininity and my constant conflict with it.

Marco is a VISIONARY ARTIST and a damned good dongmonger. These were a delight to receive and I’m pretty excited to share about em!

Hopefully I’ll surprise myself with even more posts, but these are my plans as of now! Happy haunting y’all.

Warming Up: Part Two on Foreplay

So now we come to the second part of my Warming Up series. I’ve already discussed what foreplay is, or what my personal definition of it is, this post is meant as sort of a rough guideline of possible foreplay activities. Most of this has been drawn from my own personal experience so  your mileage may vary. This isn’t meant as an instructional guide on foreplay, merely offering my methods to see if you find anything you might want as an addition to your warm up repertoire.

In warming up for vaginal penetration

In warming up for vaginal penetration, there are a couple of things I’ll do differently depending on whether I’m preparing for PiV sex or if I’m planning on penetrating myself with a dildo. With a partner, I enjoy giving and receiving oral to get ourselves physically and mentally ready. Personally speaking, giving my partner a blowjob before sex makes me feel incredibly sensual and sometimes gets me aroused enough for penetration all on its own. Being able to control the experience my partner receives isn’t something I get to feel when I get fucked, so I relish the control I have for the time being.

Because my partner values reciprocity, he’s often not the only one getting oral. In fact, even with the difference in our sizes, we’ve actually pulled off the 69 position to great success. Getting oral is a fantastic act in its own right, and for some people it may be the whole sexual encounter , but I often find it to be an amazing warm up for PiV with my wonderful partner. When receiving oral, I prefer to also be fingered at the same time. The internal stimulation and getting used to being penetrated makes it so I can enjoy feeling stretched by my partner without feeling claustrophobic from his dick. I know it seems strange that my vagina with size queen tendencies can feel claustrophobic from anything, but it remains the case. If I don’t warm up to penetration and I’m not turned on enough, it’ll hurt.

If I’m warming up for a solo session, I’ll often start off with a vibrator. I’ve got a few that have been featured so far, namely the much loved Turbo Glider and Mystic Wand. Warming up my clit turns me on and gets me ready for a dildo. Now, I should use a smaller dildo in preparation for my larger ones, but most times? I just go straight for it and endure a little discomfort as my body gets used to it. In this respect, I would ask my readers to please use smaller dildos to warm up first rather than just plunging in. Your orifices will thank you.

The last crucial piece for warming up is: LUBE. I cannot stress enough how essential a good lube has been for my sex and masturbation life. Good Clean Love’s original formula was my go to until I noticed I started having some irritation, so I discontinued use. Thankfully, Good Clean Love has graciously offered to send me their BioNude formula, which I’m very grateful for. In the meantime, I ordered both the Butters and Sliquid from Peepshow, which preliminary testing is showing some very good results! Of course, I’ll fill you in more on a later post with regards to how these lubes feel.

In warming up for anal play

So a quick disclaimer: I’ve not had penetrative anal sex yet. Well, I’ve had an entire 8 inch dick in my ass, but after insertion (we didn’t use lube) it got pretty uncomfortable so he pulled out and we moved on to something else. So most of my experience with anal has been using toys or getting my ass fingered. Regardless, here’s how I warm up.

Usually I start with lots of lube and gentle digital penetration, because my butt is a delicate flower. The few times I’ve been impatient, I’ve wound up bleeding slightly and had to take a long break from anal play of any kind. So if I’m doing anything with my butt, I make some time to read some erotica, stimulate my clit, and slowly ease into anal. Making sure my clit is involved ensures that I’m turned on enough and still feeling pleasure while I’m easing into anal.

I’ve also done an enema in preparation for anal, though I later wasn’t able to actually follow through on that desire. I’ve done an enema using a bulb, and while I did feel cleaner, I felt oddly dehydrated and headachey afterward. This bad feeling nipped any chance of sex in the bud, so my partner and I ended up just snuggling while I recovered. So if you’re planning on doing an enema, I’d recommend: 1. Doing several rinses. 2. Making sure you’ve got access to a bathroom you can hog for about an hour. 3. Drinking plenty of water in the event you feel like me after. Also, while an enema once in a while is fine, too many too close together can really upset your gut flora! So be mindful and take care of your body.

Last words

You know your body best and know where your limits are. The things I’ve described above may work for you, and they may not. I encourage you to experiment with several activities and to take your time in getting your body ready. In a lot of ways, warming up for sex is like warming up for any other athletic event. Take your time to get your mind and body ready so that you can enjoy whatever encounter you decide to participate in!

NJoy Pure Plug Medium Review

Pure Plug 82618I am someone who loves anal…in theory. What this means is, I often find myself getting off thinking getting my ass stretched, but in reality, my ass is just a little bit more er…up tight. It takes a lot of warm up for me to start enjoying anal and sometimes I have trouble with even the smaller plugs. As someone who wants to be a comprehensive slut, finding something comfortable for anal has been something of a challenge. When I read good reviews about the NJoy Pure Plugs I became intrigued. Weighty but easy to insert? Comfortable? Pleasurable? I often looked at them on websites, thinking of how it would feel to own my own. The stats seemed to be in my favor: The plug was 2.5 inches wide and 1.25 inches at the widest point. Fairly un-intimidating. So I watched for an opportunity, and when the sale was right, I snapped one up.

Well they were right. This is a story about how I finally found a plug that doesn’t feel like it wants to tear my ass apart, feels deliciously weighty, has a base that makes sense and most of all, makes me understand why people love butt plugs. But as it turns out, I had to learn to love the Pure Plug, as it took a few tries to understand the hype.

Attempt #1

The day my boyfriend leaves I am sad. I also have a friction burn on my vagina. Still wanting to masturbate in some way, I think of the Pure Plug that my boyfriend didn’t love. I wonder then if it would work for me. I head to the bedroom, lube up my fingers and get ready to warm up. But I feel my body resist the penetration. I feel pain around the entrance, like I usually do when I’m not into it. I roll my eyes, trying to get my butt to cooperate. I lube up the toy and try to insert it. Failure, it feels like being prodded in the butt. It’s uncomfortable. I get irritated and move to the smallest plug that I own, something no larger that my own index finger. Again, failure. It felt like being prodded in the ass. My body won’t relax enough to accept anything back there and I finally listen to it and relent. In the back of my mind I feel a little ashamed, I know other reviewers can fit the medium size no problem. But then, the other reviewers would tell me to listen to my body and not force it. So I leave it alone and I don’t jerk off.

Attempt #2

This time, I am determined to get the plug into me. And this time, I’m actually turned on enough to want some kind of penetration. I lay down on the bed and this time when I try to warm up, I don’t feel immediate rejection. Things are actually pleasurable this time. Hopeful, I lube up the Pure Plug and try again. It takes a minute, with me easing the plug in and out, but at last I triumph. The Pure Plug slides into place and a wave of satisfaction rolls over me. Oh yes. I spend a minute savoring the feeling, clenching around it. It’s not uncomfortable. My butt actually likes the Pure Plug there. This is a new feeling for me, as most plugs have left my ass with an uncomfortably full feeling, despite my efforts. I spend time luxuriating in the fact that I got this admittedly sort of petite plug in my ass. I wear it for hours, enjoying the weight of it in my butt. I sit and work on my other posts with the Pure Plug in my butt, feeling very much like a proper sex blogger. The base doesn’t agitate my butt cheeks, and when the base is nudged, my nerves light up. Later, I masturbate with it in and it’s a wonderful, full bodied orgasm when combined with the Mystic Wand.

Attempts #3+

Every time after, I’ve been successful with the Pure Plug. While it’s not been a plug I can slip in instantaneously, it has gotten easier over time. I’ve mainly worn it around the house, feeling it in me as I make coffee, write emails and browse Twitter. It’s like the Pure Plug reminds me I have a butt in the most pleasant way. In masturbation, it’s a fun accessory, and gently jiggling the handle provides thrilling stimulation to an anal newbie like myself. As someone who wants to love anal but has a lot of difficulty with it, I think this is going to be the plug that gets me into it more comfortably. I would highly recommend this as a first plug for it’s petite size, smart design and excellent base. And also because stainless steel is just a beautiful sex toy material.

You can find the Pure Plugs of all sizes at Peepshow Toys, and as of 8/26 they’re having a 20% off sale on them, along with some other fantastic toys! Go stuff your orifices with some gorgeous stainless steel!