Tag: silicone

Cryptokink

Cryptokink: Oviposition

Welcome to the start of a new feature on this blog: Cryptokink. This series is going to feature the unusual and fascinating kinks that I’ve learned about in my time browsing the net. I’m not going to claim to be an expert or representative of these kinks, this is more of a fun, entry-level exploration into something a little off the beaten path. With this in mind, this installment of Cryptokink is going to feature Oviposition, a kink which takes natural phenomenon and fantasy trappings and blends them into something new and exciting.

For those unfamiliar, I’ll provide a quick and dirty description of oviposition. Oviposition can roughly be described as: the act of one participant laying eggs in either the anus or vagina of another participant. The laying. The penetrative party uses a phallic organ called an ‘ovipositor’ to lay these eggs into the recipient. Eggs can be of nearly any description or size. Some oviposition scenes feature a host be filled to the brim with chicken sized eggs or with much smaller ones. These eggs can also vary in shape, color, texture along with other features.

A quick science refresher: oviposition does in fact happen in nature! One prominent example is that female seahorses impregnate the male seahorses using their ovipositor. A further example is that some insects are known to parasitically lay eggs in other hosts. So while oviposition doesn’t happen exactly the way it does in the erotica, there is still natural precedent for the phenomenon.

After interviewing a few users on Tumblr, I began to get a sense of why people are attracted to this particular fetish. It has crossover appeal with teratophilia, a kink I’ll be writing about later, along with such things like non-con or dub-con and a stuffing and pregnancy kinks. Apart from the egg pregnancy, oviposition also places great emphasis on the pregnant party ‘laying’ these eggs, often featuring the host in pleasure as they lay their non-human young. This orgasmic ‘laying’ also provided a strong appeal to users, in addition to the pleasure of being stuffed. Oviposition comes in a wide variety tones, ranging from something very tame to something more wet and wild. Having done a little research, I could find erotica with sweet and tender egg-laying, akin to love-making alongside the more aggressive and less considerate versions. This tracks with most kinks, as BDSM and other kinks also range from sweet and tender to something more rough and aggressive.

In researching this unusual kink, I have discovered that there does exist a line of sex toys, for the fetish. However, there was one I wanted to feature specifically within this piece: a dildo named The Splorch. The Splorch is a silicone dildo from Primal Hardwere, which allows the user to squeeze eggs into their orifice of choice. The dildo does not come with the eggs, so eggs must be acquired separately. To facilitate this, Primal Hardwere also supplies gelatin egg molds and step-by-step instructions on how to prepare the aforementioned eggs.  Primal Hardwere also makes no claim as to whether or not the toy is anal-safe, but does mention that gelatin eggs should dissolve with body heat. As for the toy itself, the base appears nice and wide and shouldn’t get lost in the anus, so I believe that dildo itself is extremely safe.

Given as I’ve never heard of gelatin being used in an erotic manner and had questions with regards to the safety of the toy both anally and vaginally, I reached out to the owner, Lone Wolf. Happily, the owner responded promptly and explained that while

ovipositorsneak
The Splorch posed with gelatin eggs.

they could not definitively say that the toy was anal-safe, that they had used the toy and gelatin eggs anally for years without issue. Vaginally speaking, LoneWolf was unable to say for certain if anyone would have a reaction to the gelatin in the eggs. However, Lone Wolf was able to say that customers reported they were able to take the eggs with no ill-effects. With this in mind, I would cautiously give my approval to the gelatin eggs, though I might more enthusiastically recommend silicone eggs for vaginal use, as those will be safe for the body without a doubt. (EDIT: LoneWolf does not recommend silicone eggs as they tend squeegee off the lube and may not be compatible with the toys. I would take this into account with your sensitivities and make your choice based on that.)

If you’re still curious about oviposition after this piece, it’s fairly easy to find more media relating to it. The oviposition tag on tumblr will yield a glut of results, which will require you to turn off safe-search, as will a cursory search on Ao3 or other sites where erotica is permitted. And if you decide you’re much a fan and have the dough, the toys of your dreams await you at Primal Hardwere. Just be sure to always play safely!

Thank you to LoneWolf and Tumblr users tsundere-kawaii-shark and catscreatinganarchy for helping make this post possible!

Reviews, Uncategorized

Laura Berman Kegel Exerciser Review

Fitness is vital to me. I’m a competitive athlete, which means I’m in the business of making sure I’m in good condition. Meaning, when I learned I could condition my pelvic floor muscles, I became very interested. Bubbling over with curiosity about this new form of exercise, I decided one day to treat myself and bought my first kegel exerciser after a recommendation from Epiphora. I purchased the Dr. Laura Berman Shades Of Purple Anastasia’s Delight Silicone Coated Orgasm Balls, in spite of the heinously long name, and from here on out will be the Laura Berman Kegel Exerciser. And as both a self professed Mega Jock and Sex Toy Enthusiast, it has my full approval on all counts except the hideously long name and stretchy retrieval cord.

The Laura Berman line on SheVibe is all made of shades of lavender silicone. For some, including me, who appreciate bright and vibrant colors, this makes the line rather boring to look at. However, looks can be ignored if the toy performs well. And the Laura Berman Kegel Exerciser does indeed perform.

At first glance it doesn’t appear to be anything special. Made of silicone and ABS plastic, the toy is safe and hygienic, so there’s no concern about putting something toxic in your body. But this simplicity belies what the real draw of the toy is. Inside, there are free rolling weighted balls that jiggle when you move or clench. When inside, the jiggling sensation is acutely pleasant, although in no way orgasm inducing as the name of the toy might suggest. In describing the sensation to a friend I found myself comparing it to vibration, and although that’s not exactly correct, it’s the closest I can think of. I’ve worn it to work, to physical therapy, to high class government events, and out in town. In every location, I can feel the jiggling going on inside me, a pleasant reminder of my vagina that reminds me to clench. It’s delightful and just a little kinky knowing that I’ve got a toy inside me and no one knows it. Over the past few months I’ve worn it, I have noticed that my pelvic area does feel more toned. Perhaps eventually I’ll have the crushing force I aspire to.

The toy can be worn a few ways, with one or two balls in. Unfortunately, no website I’ve looked at has the weights of each of the balls and I’ve been unable to weight them myself, which is beyond annoying. However, even as a novice kegeler I didn’t find it at all uncomfortable with both of the balls inside and opted to wear it that way. The stretchy silicone retrieval string is annoying an is perhaps one of the three main complaints I have with this toy. It makes little sense as the cord can become slippery, which is the opposite of helpful when trying to remove it, and can snap you in the clit if you’re not careful. I was snapped in the clit once, and I’m fairly certain people heard a loud ‘FUCK’ in that college dorm bathroom, even though the shower was running.

The toy is also priced quite reasonably, available at SheVibe for 19.99, the favored price for many infomercials. With the shipping it can be a little pricier, but in all still a fair price, especially since I’ve not seen anything cheaper that looks as well made.

Even with these flaws, this toy is an excellent and wallet friendly beginner toy for those seeking to up their kegel game. While it’s name is long, the cord is weird and the color uninteresting, the toy does what many toys are unable to do: it actually achieves its goal. It does strengthen your kegels and doesn’t have any extra bells and whistles to complain about. The toy also feels pretty damn good while it’s doing as well, and makes going down the stairs an adventure. It’s a damned simple and effective toy that I whole-heartedly recommend it.

Reviews

Vibratex Mystic Wand Review

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A faithful standby that’s more than worth the  amount of batteries it eats.

As I mentioned in the first review that I ever wrote, the first Mystic Wand I ever received caught on fire. This was upsetting and led to me emailing the company in a panic and getting the Turbo Glider to tide me over. Luckily, the company was kind enough to send me a replacement. As I waited, I imagined the orgasms I would have with it. And on the day it came, it was all I could do to not shred the packaging in the college mail room.

I can now tell you that this toy was more than worth the wait and the initial fiery mishap. I have used it solo, I have had my partner use it on me, I’ve used it when I’m depressed, and I’ve gotten off on even the first setting. This is a powerful little workhorse of a toy, has a design that makes sense, and is at a more than reasonable price.

The specs

The Mystic Wand is not exactly a wee thing, though it is often billed as a smaller alternative to the Hitachi. It clocks in at a little over eight inches long and the head of the toy is 1.75 in wide. The head is made of silicone, while the handle is a velvety smooth plastic. The toy takes a whopping 4 AA batteries, all of which need to be inserted correctly, lest ye risk sending your toy to an early fiery demise as I did. To insert the batteries, you unscrew the base of the toy, pop them in, and then screw the cap back on. I had no difficulties with it, and I think only those with serious motor issues would have trouble with the battery cap.

Cleaning the toy can be a little aggravating due to the grooves in the head, which is the only point in the design that I find fault with, along with the fact that the toy is only splash proof. Since you can’t dunk the toy underwater to clean it you’re stuck cleaning the little crevices by hand. You can use soap and water and clean the little grooves in the head with a finger nail to get in the crevices. I often spritz the toy with bleach solution and clean it with a Q-tip so as to ensure that the toy is as clean as possible and is sanitized.

In use

There are three steady intensities and three patterns. Predictably, it starts on a ‘low’ intensity and then graduates to the medium and high intensities. That low intensity is excellent though, as the vibrations have a rumbly quality that are a nice way to ease into masturbation. However, while I enjoy this low setting and am more than capable of orgasming with it (I was watching porn once with the Mystic Wand on the first setting, and was so turned on that I came in five minutes), my clit’s preferred setting is the middle intensity. It’s a more aggressive sensation that makes me gasp and make faces, something more intense but not enough to numb me. I most often turn up to the medium setting and have a very satisfying orgasm there.

There are patterns in this wand, but I find them distracting in use. I prefer to stick to the lovely steady intensities. The patterns change intensities or go through and escalation pattern that tease me very well, but most often during masturbation, I don’t want to be teased. I just want to get off.

Other little features that I love about the Mystic Wand: The lights are color coded! It’s absolutely adorable. The low intensity is green, the medium intensity is orange and the highest is red. I also love that the power button and the setting button are two different buttons. While I do have to cycle through all the intensities if you overshoot your preferred one, it’s not that big a deal to me. I just like being able to immediately turn off my toy and restart at the lowest setting, as sometimes my clit can get overstimulated.

In partnered use, the toy is excellent. It’s fairly intuitive and easy to understand for people not yet accustomed to wielding vibrators on their partner and positioning is fairly easy. It’s also small enough to use during penetration, and I’ve successfully done so in a few sessions with my partner.

Final thoughts

In all, this is a fantastic toy that I whole heartedly recommend. It’s priced well at $49 at SheVibe and is something I would recommend to anyone looking for strong external stimulation. It’s versatile, attractive and strong and would make a welcome addition to anyone’s toy box.

Reviews

Busted! Pipedream Crush Darling Review

None of us walk into the sex toy world already knowing what we want. We make mistakes, buy products that don’t work for us and inevitably are disappointed when the toy doesn’t work for us. I am no different. My first vibrator looks exactly like what you would expect from a paranoid young adult only just learning about sex. I was lucky enough that I had done enough research on what would be safe for my body, so I didn’t buy any toxic materials, having been lucky enough to find Dangerous Lilly’s blog before I bought any toys. But nonetheless, this is a review I have been meaning to write. The first vibrator I ever bought was a sugary pink insertable that I bought from SheVibe for thirty dollars. It was called the Crush Darling and I was enamored of it, feeling secure in the knowledge that after extensive research on safe materials and after combing through the glut of vibrators that SheVibe offered that I had found the perfect first vibrator. Spoiler alert: I hadn’t. What I had found was something that would frustrate and annoy me to no end, make me question my body and vibrators in general and light a fire in me to find something better.

In writing the description of this toy, I find myself stumbling upon a bunch of insidious little buzzwords. Reading it, you might not know that it’s an overpriced trap for newbies. Busted! Review Photo 1It’s made of body safe materials, like ABS plastic and silicone. The shape is bland, featuring a mildly contoured shaft that makes the vibrator look vaguely like a rosebud. With an insertable length of 5.25 inches and a maximum girth of 1.1 inches, it’s very tiny. A more charitable person might argue this itty bitty size and bland shape makes it a tame introduction to insertables. I am not that person. It takes two AA batteries and it’s waterproof. Like most basic vibrators, it has three steady intensities and seven patterns. My cynical theory is that this is so they could write it has ten functions on the ad copy. But no matter how innocuous this vibrator seems, no matter how inoffensive and beginner friendly, it cannot mask how it feels in use.

Let’s cut to the chase: this vibrator, my very first, was hot garbage. Nothing about it worked for my body. The vibrations were sharp, surface level and extremely buzzy. As I scrolled up the settings, it felt increasingly like it was trying to sand my clit off. I mashed it desperately against my vulva in the hopes of getting off before I went numb, holding it to the favored side of my clit. But increased pressure did nothing to allay the oncoming numbness of my genitals and every time I went away from it unsatisfied and sans orgasm. The noise it made was high pitched and sharp as well, as though I were trying to get myself off with a large and increasingly angry wasp, disconcerting when you’re trying to get lost in your fantasy. Internally, the vibrations felt worse. They were jarring and distracting and very unsatisfying. The one redeeming feature I found was with the vibrations turned off that it eased my way into penetration from larger toys, as the smooth texture and minuscule girth made it easy to insert with a minimum of fuss, though not any pleasure. However, at this point I already had a small dildo I could use, so it quickly fell by the wayside and gathered dust. In writing the review for this post, I used the Crush Darling a few more times to verify its awfulness. It is exactly as I remember it being, and my later sessions with it mirror my first: distressing, uncomfortable and numbing.

If you like numbing your genitals, bland insertable toys and the color pink, you’ll also like this toy. But if you want something that actually feels good, you’ll steer clear of this toy, who’s only silver lining is that it isn’t made out of toxic materials. But for less money, more pleasurable vibrations and a vibrator that’s not pink, the Turbo Glider does all of that while costing less money. You can find both the Crush Darling and the Turbo Glider at SheVibe.

 

Reviews

On The Bleeding Edge: Diva Cup Review

Until earlier this year, I’d never heard of menstrual cups, and I’d certainly never thought I’d get one myself. I was content with getting tampons every now and then and keeping a few in my backpack in the event that I got surprised by my period during class or practice. I thought it was necessary, and that the expense and awkwardness of my monthly flow came with my anatomy.

But as you might’ve predicted, this year something changed. As I barreled through the reviews and notes of Epiphora, Girly Juice and Oh Joy SexToy, I learned of a productDiva Cup Photo 1 I found immensely intriguing. It was the menstrual cup, specifically the Diva Cup. Epiphora reviewed the Fun Cups earlier this year as well as the Diva Cup, and Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed them as well as the Moon Cup. And they loved them! And I loved the idea of a reusable menstrual product that would save me from bleeding all over my cute underwear.

So I decided to test this by doing what everyone does: I walked myself all the way to the Whole Foods close to campus and bought the Diva Cup size A and the DivaWash. I felt guilty walking all the way back with a forty dollar hole in my pocket since it would be weeks until my next period. I spent that time with a sense of worry in the back of my mind that it wouldn’t work for me and that I’d wasted a bunch of money. But really, I shouldn’t have worried.

I will tell you now that the DivaCup is the farthest thing from a waste of money. Yes it costs more than two boxes of tampons, but it’s worth it. Not buying tampons or pads has saved me money and time. I don’t have to run to the store to pick up more disposable pads and tampons and that money that might’ve been spent on menstrual products on more fun things instead.

Menstrual cups are a bell shaped silicone device that catches your menstrual flow. The Diva Cup specifically is a colorless, translucent silicone cup that is made out of a fairly stiff silicone and has markings on the side denoting how many milliliters of blood you’ve filled the cup with, which is helpful for tracking your flow. You insert the cup into your vagina by folding it and pushing it past your pubic bone. If you look online, menstrual cup enthusiasts will have several folds they can explain to you, tips and tricks known to those who’ve mastered the art of effortlessly inserting their cup. I personally use the C fold method, not really patient enough for fancier folds.

Once inserted, your cup should open up against your cervix to catch your flow. When it opens up, it’ll form a seal and this is what prevents leakage. If there isn’t a seal, you’re likely to leak. What I do to ensure a good seal is twist the cup inside myself until I feel it fully open. After its opened up and sealed against my cervix, I’m good to go for the rest of the day.

Removing it is pretty easy for me. I insert my thumb and first finger into my vagina, grasp the stem and bare down with my PC muscles, et voila, the cup appears. Don’t think that this isn’t messy though. If the cup is particularly full or I don’t get a proper seal, I can get blood all over my hands. If you’re squeamish, the menstrual cup really isn’t for you.

During the day, I don’t usually feel the cup, and it’s much in the way a tampon is. The feeling of having something inside you might be a little unusual at first, but you get used to the feeling and go about your day as normal. Pooping with the cup in is not always the most comfortable, as the cup can shift with your bowel movements. Most people don’t report any problem peeing, but it can press against your bladder and cause discomfort. I once experienced sharp, agonizing pain similar to a UTI when I peed with the cup in. However, I only experienced it the once and it’s never been repeated. I personally attribute it to poor placement, but for some people with bladder issues it might be good to look into cups with softer silicone.

In terms of maintenance, keeping your cup clean is pretty easy. Boil it between menstrual cycles for about five minutes and you’re good to go. If it starts developing some staining or smell, leave it overnight in a cup of hydrogen peroxide and it’ll be all good to go. Diva Cup sells their special soap along with their menstrual cup, but you don’t really need it. I bought it out of paranoia since I had little access to boiling things and thought that would be a good way to keep it clean. But after I found out that peroxide does the trick, I really haven’t used it. It’s more of a talisman now, something I have that wards off my anxiety.

Is there anything wrong with the DivaCup? In my eyes, not really. Reviewers have commented the very gendered marketing of the DivaCup is disappointing and it truly is. It’s all very rah-rah girl power from the 00s and tiresome, and frankly, as someone who doesn’t feel very femme, it feels a little alienating. But as for the cup itself? I really can’t find fault with it. It was well worth the 40 dollars and I think a worthy cup for anyone wanting to stop spending so much on menstrual products every month.