Reviews – Page 5 – Rocket Girl Writes

Good Clean Love BioNude Lube Review

I have three tubes of Good Clean Love’s Almost Naked formula in my toy-box. I know, it seems a little excessive, but I’m sort of a hoarder. Every time I see lube I feel obligated to stock up. And for a long while GCL’s formula worked for me and my body and was my go to lube. But earlier this year I started to notice something. Sometimes lube leavings would cause my body to have a reaction. An errant smear of lube caused a small speckling of redness on my thigh. I shrugged it off, not really sure it was attributable to the lube. It was a hot summer, maybe I was having a little heat rash. I kept using it until one evening I held ice to what looked like a large, red mosquito bite where lube had smeared on my thigh. It was then I decided it was probably best not to continue using the Almost Naked I had as my nightstand standby.

But that was not the end of my affairs with the Good Clean Love brand. No! Good Clean Love was kind enough to send me their more gentle BioNude line after I asked on Twitter about my swelling. And it is with delight that I can recommend this lube for everyone!

The BioNude lube comes in a three ounce tube with a pop cap, as does the rest of GCL’s lubes. It’s fairly minimal packaging and looks eco-friendly, as do all of their lubes. When I asked the representative on the phone what the difference was between the two lubes, I was told that the original formula had some small amount of flavoring, while the BioNude line does not. I can confirm this, and in fact I once claimed that the Almost Naked line made it smell as though I’d baked a batch of cookies in my vagina. The BioNude line smells and tastes of nothing, which can be a pro or con depending on if you minded the Almost Naked flavoring.

I also looked to see that the formulas were in fact different, which is what likely makes the BioNude line runnier than the Almost Naked formula. If I were to compare the water based lubes I have currently and order them from thickest to thinnest it would be: 1. Almost Naked GCL 2. Sliquid Sassy 3. BioNude GCL. The Almost Naked has been the thickest water-based lube that I’ve tried, comparable to the thickness of Astroglide’s gel formula, though naturally with a healthier ingredient list. The BioNude has a thinner, less sticky quality to it, reports my boyfriend and I’m inclined to agree.

In use, the BioNude performs admirably. Because of its ultra gentle formula, I don’t have a reaction to it the way I did the Almost Naked line, and I found it thick enough to use for a variety of activities. When I used it anally, I found it perfectly comfortable for sliding in my butt plug, more comfortable than the Almost Naked formula to be honest. Likewise, when I used it vaginally in conjunction with the dildos I was testing, it performed admirably. While my partner didn’t notice a difference when we used it for PiV, I noticed that things felt a little better than when using the Almost Naked formula. In the bedroom, the BioNude formula has proved to be an excellent all rounder for whatever activities I want to get up to.

The BioNude line has really impressed me. While I loved the smell and feel of the Almost Naked line, the gentler formula of the BioNude line has me hook, line and sinker. Its performed anally, vaginally and it does all of that without giving me a mosquito bite style swelling. I recommend BioNude for anyone looking for an all around excellent water-based lube.

This product was sent to me free of charge without the expectation of a review, but I liked it so much I wanted to tell everyone how I felt. Thanks Good Clean Love!

Reviews

2 in 1: Stockroom Gentle Persuasions Paddle and Adjustable Blindfold Review

Stockroom knows leather. They just do. In the box they sent me, everything was a gorgeous piece of leather and I went just starry eyed and soft. I’ve spoken at length already about their O-ring Choker and now I’d love to tell you about the two other products they sent me: The Adjustable Blindfold and the Gentle Persuasions Paddle. Both of these products are simple and effective introductions into BDSM. They’re beginner-friendly, budget-friendly and of course, excellent quality.

The paddle

This paddle is a great and simple introduction to impact play. It doesn’t try to pull anything extreme, and doesn’t aspire to be anything more than what it is, a leather paddle. And for people new to impact play, this is a good thing. The Gentle Persuasions Paddle has two sides: a soft, fluffy side meant for gentle warm up, and an unadorned leather side for more intense play. The soft, fluffy side is extremely gentle, in fact, I found it far too gentle for my taste, even for warm up. Most people who are actually into the pain aspect of being spanked are going to find that side a little too mild to be honest and could probably advance straight to the leather side.

The non-fluffy leather side, however, is one that brings a little more intensity. Compared to the acrylic paddle I have, the leather has a more thuddy impact, meaning there’s less immediate surface level pain. Because of this, I’m able to take much harder swings from this paddle than my acrylic one. This makes me feel like an accomplished submissive and so I find myself gravitating to this paddle when I want to take a little more. I enjoy receiving smacks from the leather side a great deal, either having them administered to me from my handsome male counterpart, or just smacking my ass apropos of nothing. In the hand, the paddle feels not exactly weighty, but comfortingly soft and substantial. When my partner swung it, he noted that the soft handle made it very comfortable and easy to deliver a smack. My boyfriend feels far more confident swinging this paddle with force than he does with the acrylic paddle, so I imagine that this would be a nice choice for those just learning to be Dominant.

The blindfold

This is a simple concept done very well. The blindfold fits both my and my boyfriend’s head, and for reference, I’m a 5’2″ woman and he’s a 6’5″ man. Since we both were able to fit and be comfortable with the blindfold, I can confidently recommend this blindfold as being good for a variety of bodies. Our only other experiences with blindfolds was a silky sash from Sportsheets, which slipped and often didn’t secure very well, so the Adjustable Blindfold absolutely blew that out of the water. My boyfriend commented to me later how much he loved the quality of the material, and impressed upon me that he found it extremely well made. To be honest, I was a little surprised by how much he liked it. Let this serve as a special note, because my boyfriend has not been that emphatic about anything else in my toybox.

I tested the blindfold on my boyfriend by having him put it on before I gave him a blowjob. He secured the blindfold while I watched, stroking his cock and waiting for it to be secured to his face before I went down on him. From my perspective, sucking my boyfriend off while he was blindfolded was something new and hot. Looking up and seeing the blindfold on him and listening to the sounds he made while I sucked his cock was exhilarating. I felt powerful and sexy as I went down on him, and tried to make that blowjob and my feelings of power last as long as possible. After I decided I had enough, I got his side of the story. The blindfold was very comfortable, he explained, but it didn’t necessarily add anything to it sensation-wise. He did say he would do it again, and that made yours truly very excited.

Final thoughts

In all, these are well executed pieces of leather that are very accessible for beginners. They are simple, gorgeously made and reasonably priced. My one note for the paddle is that the soft side was too mild for me and may be too mild even for the beginners. If you find it too mild, just switch over to the leather side and let your backside have a treat.

These products were provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thank you Stockroom!

Reviews

Stockroom O-Ring Choker Review

Earlier this month I received a delightful box full of gear from my affiliate Stockroom. In that box were three items, but the one I ended up most excited about was the sexy red collar. Or, as it is more accurately listed on the site, a choker. This review features my take on Stockroom’s O-Ring Choker in red. And I have to say that this is a gorgeous piece of leather, though I would not recommend trying to use it for any heavy play.

The choker is a little thing, meant to fit necks 10.5″ to 14″ around. So for someone as petite as I am, it fit pretty well. The band is made of red latigo leather, which makes it nice and soft, perfect for everyday wear. The O-ring is shiny nickel plated hardware and is 1 inch in diameter according to Stockroom, translating into something that looks fairly petite on the choker. The choker is easy to fasten and adjust and I could even put it on myself, something I consider an accomplishment given I have trouble putting necklaces on. It’s also very accessible since it retails for $22 on Stockroom and is made of quality materials. While I don’t think this would be the end all be all of BDSM accessories, it’s a nice way to see how you feel about BDSM and kinky accessories without spending too much cash up front.

While I don’t anticipate that you’d need to clean this choker much, if you find that you do get something on it there are a few tips to clean leather. You can wash it with a saddle soap and use a small amount of leather conditioner to keep it looking in good shape. If you wash it, be sure to keep it out of sunlight while it air dries so it doesn’t fade.

When I first received the choker, I admit that I fawned over it more than anything else in that box. I am absolutely enamored of the look of the choker. The bright red leather and shiny o-ring feel very sexy, especially when paired with a matching lip color. I’ll admit that I spent more than a little time preening in the mirror. But I noticed that it fell a bit short when I attempted to use it for more than decoration. With the narrow band of leather and lack of padding, I found it uncomfortable when tugged on, feeling it pinch my neck around the edges of the choker. My partner agreed with this assessment, noting that he wouldn’t be comfortable trying to use it for control. Furthermore, he’s not able to hook his fingers through the ring, making it difficult for him to use the O-ring to lead me. While I don’t anticipate that the choker would snap, it wouldn’t be comfortable for the submissive during play, possibly in an unsafe way.

Where the choker falls short during play however, it excels in another aspect. Taking a good look at the gorgeous red leather, I figured I could use it to add some flair to an outfit and wearing it outside of the bedroom. When I asked my partner if he thought it might be discreet enough for day wear, he said that you could probably get away with wearing it out and not arouse too much suspicion. My friend and his girlfriend, who possess the same model of choker, confirmed that no one had noticed when his girlfriend had worn hers out.

Not being satisfied with this, I decided to test out the choker’s daywear capabilities. Here’s a list of places I wore it to:

The mail room of my apartment complex
Out while I was rescuing fish from the recent hurricane
Barnes and Noble
My local coffee shop

In all of these places, the choker didn’t attract any strange looks and generally passed unnoticed. It felt really cool to wear my choker and get some work done while wearing it out in a coffee shop. The leather was supremely comfortable against my neck as I wore it around doing errands, making it excellent for daywear. If you’re feeling bold, this would be a good choice to wear out without attracting too much attention or making anyone too terribly uncomfortable.

My final verdict? This is a fun way to see if you like the BDSM aesthetics and if you just need a collar for symbolic purposes. If you’d like something for heavier play, Stockroom has plenty of options with more padding to suit your purposes.

This was sent to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thank you Stockroom!

Reviews

Silicone Siren Song: The Mermaid Dildo Review

In spite of owning several dildos, I have yet to review any on my site…until now. And so I am proud to announce that my first dildo review is the stunningly crafted Mermaid dildo, provided to me by Lust Arts. Lust Arts is a new sex toy company founded by two women who have dedicated themselves to making incredible fantasy inspired dildos. They’ve really impressed me with toys like the Lust Burster, a Xenomorph inspired dildo that warmed my horror-loving heart, their gorgeous take on a unicorn horn, as well as the Mermaid dildo which I am reviewing today. And after having received the Mermaid in my home and in my vagina, I’ve learned to love it. It is intense, and abrasive at times, but it provides sensations of texture and fullness no other dildo in my toybox provides.

Dildo photography — The freshly washed Mermaid looking magical with my electric candles.

The Mermaid dildo is absolutely gorgeous to look at, there’s no denying that. The artisans at Lust Arts imbued this dildo with a stunning amount of detail, making the Mermaid look like an enticing siren with her wild hair and curled mermaid tail. The color I asked for was Deepest Wave, a gorgeous pale-green over deep black that looks exactly like a sunken copper statue. This is one of the signature colors of the toy, though the Mermaid dildo does come in a range of colors. Lust Arts sent me the toy in a glorious dual-density of Extra Soft 0030 shore-hardness outside, and Soft 0050 shore-hardness inside, making it the most pleasantly squishy toy I own. It’s softer and more flexible than both the Real Nude Rollo dildo and the Truskyn Curve from Doc Johnson.

While the Mermaid comes in a range of sizes, I asked to review the Moaner size, which seemed fairly un-intimidating. At a little over 5 1/2 inches insertable and with the widest diameter on the toy being 2.07 inches, I thought it could even qualify as a warm-up toy. But with the amount of texture this toy rocks, I would suggest warming up by getting either very turned on first or by using a smaller toy to warm up, especially if you’re new to texture like I was.

I had to have a few sessions with this dildo a few times to truly understand it. The first time I used the Mermaid, I didn’t take the time to get properly aroused, which made using the toy a little awkward. I only inserted it a few inches before feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. After having paused to lube up properly and become more aroused, I took another shot at inserting the dildo, which met with mixed success. Because I had stopped at the ‘hips’ of the toy, that left a lot of the texture just in my vaginal opening. That amount of texture just in my vaginal opening caused a scratchy, scraping feeling which drowned out the more pleasurable sensations inside. Once I fully inserted the toy however, the discomfort fizzled, replaced by a GLORIOUS stretching feeling at the entrance to my vagina. The fullness at my vaginal opening and all of that texture was AMAZING once inside me.

Through continued use of the toy, I discovered my favorite way to use the Mermaid. I paired the dildo with a clitoral vibrator and stuffed myself full with the Mermaid, jiggling it and twisting it to get the delicious massaging sensation and stretching fullness that the size queen in me craves. The texture is absolutely delightful to my vaginal walls! It felt like being massaged and teased with tiny fingers in a way. With how soft the Mermaid is, the textured parts don’t feel abrasive, provided I fully insert the toy. In trying I also found that I enjoyed the Mermaid externally, as the highly textured head of the toy felt fantastic to rub against my clit and inner labia, which I often did as part of my warm-up.

Cleaning and storing the dildo is fairly easy actually. Because you can submerge the toy, it’s fairly easy to soak off bodily fluids and get your toy nice and clean after a session. When I received it, I worried that the toy would hold onto my juices and be a nightmare to get clean because of all the nooks, crannies and crevices. But having tested this after a few sessions, I found that it was fairly easy to soak it in the sink and then wipe off with a paper towel. The softer density does cause the toy to attract dust and hair, necessitating a wash beforehand if not kept in something like a plastic bag. It’s no surprise that silicone this soft and squishy attracts lint! The bag Lust Arts sends you should be more than enough to keep your toy clean between washes though. For sanitizing, you can either boil this dildo or use a 10% bleach solution and wipe it down.

So what would I say about this silicone siren? I would recommend the Mermaid to users who know they like intensity and texture, as even the very soft Mermaid provides a great deal to experience. For people just starting to explore texture, getting a smaller, softer version of the Mermaid would likely be the best option to decide whether or not you’re into the amount of texture the Mermaid rocks. Me personally? I love my Mermaid, and plan on using it when my insides need a good massaging and stretching.

This toy was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Lust Arts!

Reviews, Uncategorized

Laura Berman Kegel Exerciser Review

Fitness is vital to me. I’m a competitive athlete, which means I’m in the business of making sure I’m in good condition. Meaning, when I learned I could condition my pelvic floor muscles, I became very interested. Bubbling over with curiosity about this new form of exercise, I decided one day to treat myself and bought my first kegel exerciser after a recommendation from Epiphora. I purchased the Dr. Laura Berman Shades Of Purple Anastasia’s Delight Silicone Coated Orgasm Balls, in spite of the heinously long name, and from here on out will be the Laura Berman Kegel Exerciser. And as both a self professed Mega Jock and Sex Toy Enthusiast, it has my full approval on all counts except the hideously long name and stretchy retrieval cord.

The Laura Berman line on SheVibe is all made of shades of lavender silicone. For some, including me, who appreciate bright and vibrant colors, this makes the line rather boring to look at. However, looks can be ignored if the toy performs well. And the Laura Berman Kegel Exerciser does indeed perform.

At first glance it doesn’t appear to be anything special. Made of silicone and ABS plastic, the toy is safe and hygienic, so there’s no concern about putting something toxic in your body. But this simplicity belies what the real draw of the toy is. Inside, there are free rolling weighted balls that jiggle when you move or clench. When inside, the jiggling sensation is acutely pleasant, although in no way orgasm inducing as the name of the toy might suggest. In describing the sensation to a friend I found myself comparing it to vibration, and although that’s not exactly correct, it’s the closest I can think of. I’ve worn it to work, to physical therapy, to high class government events, and out in town. In every location, I can feel the jiggling going on inside me, a pleasant reminder of my vagina that reminds me to clench. It’s delightful and just a little kinky knowing that I’ve got a toy inside me and no one knows it. Over the past few months I’ve worn it, I have noticed that my pelvic area does feel more toned. Perhaps eventually I’ll have the crushing force I aspire to.

The toy can be worn a few ways, with one or two balls in. Unfortunately, no website I’ve looked at has the weights of each of the balls and I’ve been unable to weight them myself, which is beyond annoying. However, even as a novice kegeler I didn’t find it at all uncomfortable with both of the balls inside and opted to wear it that way. The stretchy silicone retrieval string is annoying an is perhaps one of the three main complaints I have with this toy. It makes little sense as the cord can become slippery, which is the opposite of helpful when trying to remove it, and can snap you in the clit if you’re not careful. I was snapped in the clit once, and I’m fairly certain people heard a loud ‘FUCK’ in that college dorm bathroom, even though the shower was running.

The toy is also priced quite reasonably, available at SheVibe for 19.99, the favored price for many infomercials. With the shipping it can be a little pricier, but in all still a fair price, especially since I’ve not seen anything cheaper that looks as well made.

Even with these flaws, this toy is an excellent and wallet friendly beginner toy for those seeking to up their kegel game. While it’s name is long, the cord is weird and the color uninteresting, the toy does what many toys are unable to do: it actually achieves its goal. It does strengthen your kegels and doesn’t have any extra bells and whistles to complain about. The toy also feels pretty damn good while it’s doing as well, and makes going down the stairs an adventure. It’s a damned simple and effective toy that I whole-heartedly recommend it.

Reviews

NJoy Pure Plug Medium Review

Pure Plug 82618 I am someone who loves anal…in theory. What this means is, I often find myself getting off thinking getting my ass stretched, but in reality, my ass is just a little bit more er…up tight. It takes a lot of warm up for me to start enjoying anal and sometimes I have trouble with even the smaller plugs. As someone who wants to be a comprehensive slut, finding something comfortable for anal has been something of a challenge. When I read good reviews about the NJoy Pure Plugs I became intrigued. Weighty but easy to insert? Comfortable? Pleasurable? I often looked at them on websites, thinking of how it would feel to own my own. The stats seemed to be in my favor: The plug was 2.5 inches wide and 1.25 inches at the widest point. Fairly un-intimidating. So I watched for an opportunity, and when the sale was right, I snapped one up.

Well they were right. This is a story about how I finally found a plug that doesn’t feel like it wants to tear my ass apart, feels deliciously weighty, has a base that makes sense and most of all, makes me understand why people love butt plugs. But as it turns out, I had to learn to love the Pure Plug, as it took a few tries to understand the hype.

Attempt #1

The day my boyfriend leaves I am sad. I also have a friction burn on my vagina. Still wanting to masturbate in some way, I think of the Pure Plug that my boyfriend didn’t love. I wonder then if it would work for me. I head to the bedroom, lube up my fingers and get ready to warm up. But I feel my body resist the penetration. I feel pain around the entrance, like I usually do when I’m not into it. I roll my eyes, trying to get my butt to cooperate. I lube up the toy and try to insert it. Failure, it feels like being prodded in the butt. It’s uncomfortable. I get irritated and move to the smallest plug that I own, something no larger that my own index finger. Again, failure. It felt like being prodded in the ass. My body won’t relax enough to accept anything back there and I finally listen to it and relent. In the back of my mind I feel a little ashamed, I know other reviewers can fit the medium size no problem. But then, the other reviewers would tell me to listen to my body and not force it. So I leave it alone and I don’t jerk off.

Attempt #2

This time, I am determined to get the plug into me. And this time, I’m actually turned on enough to want some kind of penetration. I lay down on the bed and this time when I try to warm up, I don’t feel immediate rejection. Things are actually pleasurable this time. Hopeful, I lube up the Pure Plug and try again. It takes a minute, with me easing the plug in and out, but at last I triumph. The Pure Plug slides into place and a wave of satisfaction rolls over me. Oh yes. I spend a minute savoring the feeling, clenching around it. It’s not uncomfortable. My butt actually likes the Pure Plug there. This is a new feeling for me, as most plugs have left my ass with an uncomfortably full feeling, despite my efforts. I spend time luxuriating in the fact that I got this admittedly sort of petite plug in my ass. I wear it for hours, enjoying the weight of it in my butt. I sit and work on my other posts with the Pure Plug in my butt, feeling very much like a proper sex blogger. The base doesn’t agitate my butt cheeks, and when the base is nudged, my nerves light up. Later, I masturbate with it in and it’s a wonderful, full bodied orgasm when combined with the Mystic Wand.

Attempts #3+

Every time after, I’ve been successful with the Pure Plug. While it’s not been a plug I can slip in instantaneously, it has gotten easier over time. I’ve mainly worn it around the house, feeling it in me as I make coffee, write emails and browse Twitter. It’s like the Pure Plug reminds me I have a butt in the most pleasant way. In masturbation, it’s a fun accessory, and gently jiggling the handle provides thrilling stimulation to an anal newbie like myself. As someone who wants to love anal but has a lot of difficulty with it, I think this is going to be the plug that gets me into it more comfortably. I would highly recommend this as a first plug for it’s petite size, smart design and excellent base. And also because stainless steel is just a beautiful sex toy material.

You can find the Pure Plugs of all sizes at Peepshow Toys, and as of 8/26 they’re having a 20% off sale on them, along with some other fantastic toys! Go stuff your orifices with some gorgeous stainless steel!

Reviews

Vibratex Mystic Wand Review

38872354_290949551665427_8799470867957415936_n — A faithful standby that’s more than worth the amount of batteries it eats.

As I mentioned in the first review that I ever wrote, the first Mystic Wand I ever received caught on fire. This was upsetting and led to me emailing the company in a panic and getting the Turbo Glider to tide me over. Luckily, the company was kind enough to send me a replacement. As I waited, I imagined the orgasms I would have with it. And on the day it came, it was all I could do to not shred the packaging in the college mail room.

I can now tell you that this toy was more than worth the wait and the initial fiery mishap. I have used it solo, I have had my partner use it on me, I’ve used it when I’m depressed, and I’ve gotten off on even the first setting. This is a powerful little workhorse of a toy, has a design that makes sense, and is at a more than reasonable price.

The specs

The Mystic Wand is not exactly a wee thing, though it is often billed as a smaller alternative to the Hitachi. It clocks in at a little over eight inches long and the head of the toy is 1.75 in wide. The head is made of silicone, while the handle is a velvety smooth plastic. The toy takes a whopping 4 AA batteries, all of which need to be inserted correctly, lest ye risk sending your toy to an early fiery demise as I did. To insert the batteries, you unscrew the base of the toy, pop them in, and then screw the cap back on. I had no difficulties with it, and I think only those with serious motor issues would have trouble with the battery cap.

Cleaning the toy can be a little aggravating due to the grooves in the head, which is the only point in the design that I find fault with, along with the fact that the toy is only splash proof. Since you can’t dunk the toy underwater to clean it you’re stuck cleaning the little crevices by hand. You can use soap and water and clean the little grooves in the head with a finger nail to get in the crevices. I often spritz the toy with bleach solution and clean it with a Q-tip so as to ensure that the toy is as clean as possible and is sanitized.

In use

There are three steady intensities and three patterns. Predictably, it starts on a ‘low’ intensity and then graduates to the medium and high intensities. That low intensity is excellent though, as the vibrations have a rumbly quality that are a nice way to ease into masturbation. However, while I enjoy this low setting and am more than capable of orgasming with it (I was watching porn once with the Mystic Wand on the first setting, and was so turned on that I came in five minutes), my clit’s preferred setting is the middle intensity. It’s a more aggressive sensation that makes me gasp and make faces, something more intense but not enough to numb me. I most often turn up to the medium setting and have a very satisfying orgasm there.

There are patterns in this wand, but I find them distracting in use. I prefer to stick to the lovely steady intensities. The patterns change intensities or go through and escalation pattern that tease me very well, but most often during masturbation, I don’t want to be teased. I just want to get off.

Other little features that I love about the Mystic Wand: The lights are color coded! It’s absolutely adorable. The low intensity is green, the medium intensity is orange and the highest is red. I also love that the power button and the setting button are two different buttons. While I do have to cycle through all the intensities if you overshoot your preferred one, it’s not that big a deal to me. I just like being able to immediately turn off my toy and restart at the lowest setting, as sometimes my clit can get overstimulated.

In partnered use, the toy is excellent. It’s fairly intuitive and easy to understand for people not yet accustomed to wielding vibrators on their partner and positioning is fairly easy. It’s also small enough to use during penetration, and I’ve successfully done so in a few sessions with my partner.

Final thoughts

In all, this is a fantastic toy that I whole heartedly recommend. It’s priced well at $49 at SheVibe and is something I would recommend to anyone looking for strong external stimulation. It’s versatile, attractive and strong and would make a welcome addition to anyone’s toy box.

Reviews

A Dish Served Three Ways: Coconut Oil

Over the past month I’ve managed to go through an entire jar of coconut oil. I’ve used it for a variety of things including makeup remover, moisturizer and lube. All the while I kept careful notes on how it performed at each of these tasks, quietly planning on making a post about it when I had finally finished the jar. Well, that day has come. And I’m here to say that this is a worthy thing to add to your daily arsenal, though it excels at some things rather than others.

Use No. 1: A moisturizer

On my skin, coconut oil feels luxurious, more so than the regular lotion that I use. It smells fantastic and it really does soften my skin. I’ve used it on my legs, my butt, and all the rest of my body. I’ve used it both before shaving after seeing Girly Juice’s recommendation and after shaving, but I found it worked better as something to moisturize my body after a shave rather than before. In fact, I noticed I had slightly more irritation when I used it beforehand rather than after. I can’t figure out exactly why this is, perhaps because I didn’t use a fresh razor or perhaps the coconut oil made my skin softer, but the fact is that I was more irritated when using it before hand. Ah well, your mileage may very, but I’d recommend using it after.

I also loved how shiny it made my whole body look. One day I felt particularly luxe and decided to smother my whole body in it, put on a face mask and then wrap myself in a robe. I felt extremely decadent as I watched Twin Peaks and marveled at my slick, shiny legs.

The only draw back for me was that the coconut oil took a long time to soak into my skin, meaning I’d have to clear out a chunk of time waiting for my legs to stop being slippery. My other lotion soaked in much faster. So if I have dry legs and I’m strapped for time, I don’t end up using the coconut oil. But if I want to feel as decadent as possible, I rub some on and settle in for some thriller shows on Netflix.

Use No. 2: As a makeup remover

I’m someone who’s just recently started to get really into makeup. I’ve been looking into long lasting waterproof stuff so that I don’t have to worry about things like reapplication or smudging or anything. Unfortunately, waterproof and long lasting makeup means that taking off my makeup can be a real pain in the ass if I don’t buy makeup remover. Or at least, it used to mean that until I used coconut oil.

I swear, coconut oil kicks ass as a makeup remover. Waterproof mascara? Easy. Liquid eyeliner? No problem. Foundation? Consider it gone. Long wear lipstick? IT’S OVER. Coconut oil melts makeup and makes taking my long wear looks off easy. Also, unlike some other makeup removers, when you inevitably get this in your eye, it doesn’t sting. It does make seeing out of one eye a little blurry, but rinsing your eyes out is pretty easy.

Use No. 3: As a lube

So first things first: I only used coconut oil as an anal lube so that should be taken into account. I wasn’t able to use it vaginally since I’ve been bounced from UTI to yeast infection and to my menstrual cycle all in quick succession. July was not a great month for penetration vaginally. Nonetheless, I bulled ahead and used it for anal penetration, curious to see how it felt.

On my first try using the coconut oil it was almost entirely liquid. It slid off the dildo and provided only a thin layer of lube, which led to a frustrating experience trying to get what felt like a dry dildo into my ass. I pretty quickly gave up on that plan and switched over to my standby lube, Good Clean Love. I resolved I would try again later.

The second and subsequent tries went better. When in a semiliquid state, the coconut oil was thick enough to provide some cushion between the new butt plug I was using and my ass. It felt much more comfortable. And as a bonus, I didn’t leave any ass smell on the plug. It just smelled like coconut! I was pretty happy to discover this.

Now that it’s moving on to August and my vagina finally feels normal, I’m going to get a new jar of it and use it. But this time I’m not going to stick my fingers in it. According to Dangerous Lilly, you ought to use the decanting method so as to not encourage bacteria growth in your coconut oil. With this in mind, I’m excited to try it out.

Final thoughts

Over the past month, I’ve appreciated having such a useful multitool in life. It’s not often there’s a product that removes makeup, moisturizes my skin and also lets me put toys in my ass, all while smelling excellent. I would highly recommend to anyone looking for a good oil based lube to try virgin, unrefined coconut oil for toys as it’s the least likely to cause any issues. Coconut oil is compatible with most materials, but not with things such as TPE or PVC or Jelly. It’s also not condom compatible, so keep in mind that when you’re considering a lube for partnered play. In all, I highly recommend coconut oil as a cornerstone for both your beauty and sexual needs.

Reviews

Busted! Pipedream Crush Darling Review

None of us walk into the sex toy world already knowing what we want. We make mistakes, buy products that don’t work for us and inevitably are disappointed when the toy doesn’t work for us. I am no different. My first vibrator looks exactly like what you would expect from a paranoid young adult only just learning about sex. I was lucky enough that I had done enough research on what would be safe for my body, so I didn’t buy any toxic materials, having been lucky enough to find Dangerous Lilly’s blog before I bought any toys. But nonetheless, this is a review I have been meaning to write. The first vibrator I ever bought was a sugary pink insertable that I bought from SheVibe for thirty dollars. It was called the Crush Darling and I was enamored of it, feeling secure in the knowledge that after extensive research on safe materials and after combing through the glut of vibrators that SheVibe offered that I had found the perfect first vibrator. Spoiler alert: I hadn’t. What I had found was something that would frustrate and annoy me to no end, make me question my body and vibrators in general and light a fire in me to find something better.

In writing the description of this toy, I find myself stumbling upon a bunch of insidious little buzzwords. Reading it, you might not know that it’s an overpriced trap for newbies. Busted! Review Photo 1 It’s made of body safe materials, like ABS plastic and silicone. The shape is bland, featuring a mildly contoured shaft that makes the vibrator look vaguely like a rosebud. With an insertable length of 5.25 inches and a maximum girth of 1.1 inches, it’s very tiny. A more charitable person might argue this itty bitty size and bland shape makes it a tame introduction to insertables. I am not that person. It takes two AA batteries and it’s waterproof. Like most basic vibrators, it has three steady intensities and seven patterns. My cynical theory is that this is so they could write it has ten functions on the ad copy. But no matter how innocuous this vibrator seems, no matter how inoffensive and beginner friendly, it cannot mask how it feels in use.

Let’s cut to the chase: this vibrator, my very first, was hot garbage. Nothing about it worked for my body. The vibrations were sharp, surface level and extremely buzzy. As I scrolled up the settings, it felt increasingly like it was trying to sand my clit off. I mashed it desperately against my vulva in the hopes of getting off before I went numb, holding it to the favored side of my clit. But increased pressure did nothing to allay the oncoming numbness of my genitals and every time I went away from it unsatisfied and sans orgasm. The noise it made was high pitched and sharp as well, as though I were trying to get myself off with a large and increasingly angry wasp, disconcerting when you’re trying to get lost in your fantasy. Internally, the vibrations felt worse. They were jarring and distracting and very unsatisfying. The one redeeming feature I found was with the vibrations turned off that it eased my way into penetration from larger toys, as the smooth texture and minuscule girth made it easy to insert with a minimum of fuss, though not any pleasure. However, at this point I already had a small dildo I could use, so it quickly fell by the wayside and gathered dust. In writing the review for this post, I used the Crush Darling a few more times to verify its awfulness. It is exactly as I remember it being, and my later sessions with it mirror my first: distressing, uncomfortable and numbing.

If you like numbing your genitals, bland insertable toys and the color pink, you’ll also like this toy. But if you want something that actually feels good, you’ll steer clear of this toy, who’s only silver lining is that it isn’t made out of toxic materials. But for less money, more pleasurable vibrations and a vibrator that’s not pink, the Turbo Glider does all of that while costing less money. You can find both the Crush Darling and the Turbo Glider at SheVibe.

Reviews

On The Bleeding Edge: Diva Cup Review

Until earlier this year, I’d never heard of menstrual cups, and I’d certainly never thought I’d get one myself. I was content with getting tampons every now and then and keeping a few in my backpack in the event that I got surprised by my period during class or practice. I thought it was necessary, and that the expense and awkwardness of my monthly flow came with my anatomy.

But as you might’ve predicted, this year something changed. As I barreled through the reviews and notes of Epiphora, Girly Juice and Oh Joy SexToy, I learned of a product Diva Cup Photo 1 I found immensely intriguing. It was the menstrual cup, specifically the Diva Cup. Epiphora reviewed the Fun Cups earlier this year as well as the Diva Cup, and Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed them as well as the Moon Cup. And they loved them! And I loved the idea of a reusable menstrual product that would save me from bleeding all over my cute underwear.

So I decided to test this by doing what everyone does: I walked myself all the way to the Whole Foods close to campus and bought the Diva Cup size A and the DivaWash. I felt guilty walking all the way back with a forty dollar hole in my pocket since it would be weeks until my next period. I spent that time with a sense of worry in the back of my mind that it wouldn’t work for me and that I’d wasted a bunch of money. But really, I shouldn’t have worried.

I will tell you now that the DivaCup is the farthest thing from a waste of money. Yes it costs more than two boxes of tampons, but it’s worth it. Not buying tampons or pads has saved me money and time. I don’t have to run to the store to pick up more disposable pads and tampons and that money that might’ve been spent on menstrual products on more fun things instead.

Menstrual cups are a bell shaped silicone device that catches your menstrual flow. The Diva Cup specifically is a colorless, translucent silicone cup that is made out of a fairly stiff silicone and has markings on the side denoting how many milliliters of blood you’ve filled the cup with, which is helpful for tracking your flow. You insert the cup into your vagina by folding it and pushing it past your pubic bone. If you look online, menstrual cup enthusiasts will have several folds they can explain to you, tips and tricks known to those who’ve mastered the art of effortlessly inserting their cup. I personally use the C fold method, not really patient enough for fancier folds.

Once inserted, your cup should open up against your cervix to catch your flow. When it opens up, it’ll form a seal and this is what prevents leakage. If there isn’t a seal, you’re likely to leak. What I do to ensure a good seal is twist the cup inside myself until I feel it fully open. After its opened up and sealed against my cervix, I’m good to go for the rest of the day.

Removing it is pretty easy for me. I insert my thumb and first finger into my vagina, grasp the stem and bare down with my PC muscles, et voila, the cup appears. Don’t think that this isn’t messy though. If the cup is particularly full or I don’t get a proper seal, I can get blood all over my hands. If you’re squeamish, the menstrual cup really isn’t for you.

During the day, I don’t usually feel the cup, and it’s much in the way a tampon is. The feeling of having something inside you might be a little unusual at first, but you get used to the feeling and go about your day as normal. Pooping with the cup in is not always the most comfortable, as the cup can shift with your bowel movements. Most people don’t report any problem peeing, but it can press against your bladder and cause discomfort. I once experienced sharp, agonizing pain similar to a UTI when I peed with the cup in. However, I only experienced it the once and it’s never been repeated. I personally attribute it to poor placement, but for some people with bladder issues it might be good to look into cups with softer silicone.

In terms of maintenance, keeping your cup clean is pretty easy. Boil it between menstrual cycles for about five minutes and you’re good to go. If it starts developing some staining or smell, leave it overnight in a cup of hydrogen peroxide and it’ll be all good to go. Diva Cup sells their special soap along with their menstrual cup, but you don’t really need it. I bought it out of paranoia since I had little access to boiling things and thought that would be a good way to keep it clean. But after I found out that peroxide does the trick, I really haven’t used it. It’s more of a talisman now, something I have that wards off my anxiety.

Is there anything wrong with the DivaCup? In my eyes, not really. Reviewers have commented the very gendered marketing of the DivaCup is disappointing and it truly is. It’s all very rah-rah girl power from the 00s and tiresome, and frankly, as someone who doesn’t feel very femme, it feels a little alienating. But as for the cup itself? I really can’t find fault with it. It was well worth the 40 dollars and I think a worthy cup for anyone wanting to stop spending so much on menstrual products every month.